Loving Him
by JapanLurve101
Summary: Inuyasha and Kouga are an unlikely pair in every way imaginable. At least they are in everone else's eyes. For Kouga, the story is different. In the wake of terrible grief, can love arise? Challenge from KAYBOP1, Yaoi, InuKou, lemon in later chapters.
1. I Love Him

Kay, this is a challenge I answered from KayBop1, I was thinking about writing a fanfic for this pairing and I like the way this sounded. The beginning is kind of dark, but just bear with me, all the fluffiness, love, and sexiness will be along shortly ;) Enjoy!

"I love him. Everything about him. His hair, long and beautiful silver locks. His eyes, golden-amber shining with his fighting spirit. His body, slender and strong. I love everything, even his brash attitude, it shows he won't take anything from anyone! I admire that; it's more than I could say for myself. I love his expressions even though I don't ever see his true smile. His smile, his _real _smile, just a tiny moment where I know that he's happy, confirmed by the curve of his mouth. That's what I want to see the most of all. Sometimes I wonder if it would make me love him even more. But I can't get too close to him; let him see my true feelings because he is my rival. My rival. How did all of this happen? I look at him and I feel my heart flutter, whether he scowls, stares, or shouts. I've seen him clean, filthy, even bloody, and still, he's so beautiful. I don't think I could look at anything else in the world and feel more stunned. I've heard their voices. I've heard every word that would stand to say that I should never feel this way for him. I've lived a life that tells me that my feelings are in error. I've tried to listen to those voices, I've tried to forget my feelings and remember that it's my pack that really matters, not my odd affections. Against the efforts of those around me and even my own, not one thing has truly changed in my heart. Nothing. I can lie to my packmates, I can lie to my mentors, my warriors, my elders, but I will _never_ lie to myself. I love him. With all my heart, _I love him._ Has the poison of my forefathers really reached into my own blood and tainted me so badly?"

_________

The shadows of the chamber were fenced around the only light in the darkness. Across his youthful flesh, the old bruises and cuts seemed to broaden in the flame's illumination. The orange light trembled in the eyes of a young boy, a sheen of perspiration slight in his dark hair. His tail had curled between his legs, relatable to every limb that refused to move. The only thing that really defined the moment was the man he kept on staring at. Barely out of the borders of the shadows, his father stood like a tower, examining his son with the mannerisms of his captain.

"Why don't I ask you again, Kouga?" The orange light finally spread across the jagged depths of his face as he stepped closer. "What were you doing out there?"

"I…" he swallowed and scurried backward with every step that his father took. It was a mistake.

All of the tranquility on the man's face burned away in an instant. Kouga cried out as four disciplined knuckles were sent smashing into the side of his face. "Don't you DARE pause when you speak to me!" Another yelp rang out as Kouga was struck to the unforgiving ground. "…Understand? Now answer me!"

A tiny gasp escaped from the young wolf. "I was just playing with Koshi! He's my fr—"

"Your FRIEND?!" the air was forced from Kouga's stomach as his father slammed his foot into his small chest. His insides twisted and lurched as the impact left him trying to scrape together a breath. But as soon as a fragment of precious air had entered, it was forced out again when a powerful leg crushed down onto his spine. The weight was only inches from bone-shattering. It always was. Kouga whimpered and choked, he would cry out if he had the air for it, but every attempt to gather some was thwarted. At last, he found himself curled against the wall, his gasps frequently turning into pained spasms. One last little yelp was yanked from him as his father punctuated his "lesson" with a final kick to the shoulder. Kouga could accept it, he was simply glad to have the privilege of breathing again.

"Look at me." His father whispered, towering over him in the shadows.

The child's eyes slowly shifted their way up to his face. Kouga's gasping had slowed.

The father sent a burning gaze down to his son. "Do you know why we're all here in these mountains? Why there are so few of us?" Like the creak of a door, a deep sigh left Kouga's father as he knelt down. "Why the wolf tribe struggles?"

Kouga uncurled himself a bit. "…no." he answered.

His father began instantly. "The dogs, Kouga, the dogs." The lines of his face furrowed. "They drove us from the west. They burned, killed, and _tortured_." He let out another deep sigh. "…among other things that not even _I_ should have seen." The father brought himself up to stand alone in the weak light of the flame. His pure silence was something that Kouga had only seen a select few times, there was no other stillness like it. "…and Kouga…" The small wolf demon raised his weary head once more.

"It was _they_ who killed your mother. _My mate_." Suddenly the father's voice had grown dry.

The tall figure turned his head back to his only son. "So. Let's ask the same question." He took a single, steady step in Kouga's direction. "Who was it that you were playing with?"

The young wolf exhaled and bowed his head. He knew the word that would end this moment peacefully. It was a word that wasn't of his own thoughts. All that it would have been was a betrayal of his conscience. Even so, the words quietly, but surely, left his lips.

"The enemy."

Kouga never knew if his father had grinned in pride or simply knelt down to him again with no reaction. He never looked up at him after that moment, not even a glance.

The shadowy hand swiftly reached for Kouga's face, a small flinch nearly sent the wolf backward again. Yet, he was surprised to find his father's fingers brushing the loose strands of hair from his face. "I love you very much, Kouga." The wolf barely heard his father's words. "Strong steel is only folded with a powerful hand. You understand that, don't you?" the voice was pitched with a man's pathetic excuse for compassion.

"I understand."

Somehow, fate had forced Kouga to lie to his own father.

_________

"I don't think I've ever seen anything more perfect." The icy blue of Kouga's eyes glimmered. It seemed like their souls had been lit with all of the sudden joy of this moment. Inuyasha. His eyes burned in the moonlight more brightly than anything, two golden blazes of light in the darkness of midnight. They laid there, happily wrapped in the each other's embrace, the moonlight defining the curves of Inuyasha's every muscle and curve with bright, blue outlines. Their bodies were intertwined in a shallow mirror of content, lazy water, the stars above reflecting in its surface. Kouga felt so _weightless. _The wolf laid his moist forehead against the dog's, all of that glowing happiness seemed to reflect in the golden eyes of his lover. He smiled, a tear slipped from his eye as he gazed into that face.

He pulled Inuyasha even closer, feeling the moist, bare flesh warm every part of his body. "I love you." He whispered, stroking his fallen tear from Inuyasha's cheek. "I love you _so much._" His vision had grown blurry. He felt Inuyasha's fingers run across his legs, moving gently from his rear to the base of his tail, then across the expanse of his back and up to his neck. Kouga purred at the tingling in his skin. It felt good. Beyond good.

The dog brought his face back up, meeting Kouga's lips. They shared a blissful warmth. Kouga nibbled a little at his puppy's bottom lip. A moment passed, a dream passed, and then, Inuyasha pulled away. The dog parted his lips, his gaze completely fixed on Kouga's, trusting and prepared.

"Go ahead." He whispered.

It was all Kouga needed. He was ready. He placed a small kiss on Inuyasha's nose and positioned himself at his lover' entrance, ready to plunge in. He took one more glance, and was comforted by the eager gaze of his puppy. With that, he slowly began to push his hard member in. Inuyasha moaned, then hissed at the sudden stretch. Kouga opened his eyes again and took another glance. He saw red.

The mirror of the water had been clouded with a terrible crimson shade, quickly spreading across and blotting out the reflected stars. Inuyasha's pleasured moans broke apart and turned to cries of pain. Kouga withdrew. It wasn't what he thought it, all his saw was his hand pulling a knife from the center of Inuyasha's chest. Blood drenched his hands, the scent poisoned the air and when he tried to scream, all he heard was everything that he had said before.

_Hah! You couldn't if you tried, muttface! _

_Stupid fucking dog! _

_Muttface! Ha ha ha! _

…_pathetic!_

_INUYASHA! You slimy half-breed! How dare you do this!?_

…_worthless… You'll pay for this! Stupid dog!_

_Hahaha ha ha!_

_Nothing! You're nothing! Not to anyone, mutt!_

_Hah! HaahahaHAHAAHA!_

_Muttface!_

_Half-breed!_

_Lowlife!_

The mirror was clouded with blood, he tried to scream. He tried to let his terror escape, but the voices only escalated. He tried to find his face in the mirror. The only thing he saw was blood, the scent overwhelming. And somehow, in all of that horror, he did, in fact, see a face.

His father.

Suddenly, his desperation was answered. He screamed. Loudly.

Inuyasha jumped backward to the opposite side of the room. The mirror had vanished. Everything had vanished.

"What's the big idea, ya flea-bitten wolf?!!" Inuyasha shouted at Kouga. He raised his fists, expecting some sort of scuffle. Kouga could feel the perspiration on his body, the intense heat was still clinging to him and it took several moments for him to sort his thoughts out. He ran his hand through his hair. "I…" he stopped. He was relieved that it had been a nightmare, extremely relieved. "I was dreaming… I guess." His voice sounded more raspy than usual.

Inuyasha lowered his fists, but not _too_ low. "Flowers and sunshine, I take it? Usual 'dream' stuff?" he cocked an eyebrow, almost enjoying the fact that his rival was still shaken up.

"Fine" Kouga muttered, rubbing his scalp and closing his weary eyes again. "I was 'nightmaring', or something. Whadya want me to say, Inuyasha?"

The dog's fists fell to his sides completely. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

Kouga opened an eye. "What are you talking about?"

Inuyasha folded his arms and sneered. "I think the world is coming to an end. Since when did you start calling me by my name, idiot?"

Kouga's hand stopped. He hadn't noted that detail. Taking a deep, very much needed breath, he pushed himself up and out of the bed, the thin blanket sliding off of him.

Inuyasha suddenly threw his hands over his face. "Agh! Dammit, wolf, put some clothes on!"

Kouga hadn't completely heard, he was mind was still distracted by what he had just been through. "Huh?" he reflexively replied, rubbing his eye.

Inuyasha growled. "Do I really have to spell it out for you, idiot?! Clothes. Now." He barked, putting emphasis on the last two word.

Kouga began to look down at himelf "What's the problem? I'm still in my—" at that, he realized he was wearing _nothing _and covered himself up with the blanket within an instant. He tried fighting the blush that he knew he was getting, but it was no use.

Inuyasha lowered his hand. "Bout' time. Did part of your brain die while you were sleeping, or something? I swear, one day you're just—"

"Inuyasha." Kouga's voice halted the bickering.

"What?" the dog grumbled.

"Not now." The wolf said simply.

They stared at each other for a few moments, Inuyasha gave a small wave of the hand as he exited the room. "Whatever…" he muttered as he walked out.

"Hey, mutt." Kouga called, taking up his usual voice. The voice that everyone expected. "What did you wake me up for?"

The silver-haired hanyou halted. He took a deep breath and slowly let it go again. "…Today's the day…" he said, extreme dread detectable in his tone. With that, Inuyasha proceeded to the outside, leaving Kouga alone.


	2. To Myself,

Okaaaay, next chapter. Yay! Kind of short, but I'll update soon. Reviews would be very much appreciated ^^

I can't believe that after all this time that I shunned the idea that I'm finally taking her advice, but it turns out that she just might be right. I need to make sure that I preserve this in some way. I'm the one of the few demons in my tribe who can write, so I can't think of a better way to do it. Here it goes…

To myself,

I'm writing this letter to you for one reason and for one day that hasn't happened yet. _The_ day. I spent a long time not knowing exactly where she came from. At first, I had a hard time believing that she was from an era that doesn't even exist yet, but it all began to make sense. Here home is far away from ours, so far that the only thing that can reach it is something beyond our complete understanding. The day that I know is going to be here very soon is the day that the line between her world and ours will become a wall, a wall that nothing will ever penetrate again. The wall is time itself. Nothing can fight against time. Nothing.

I have to remember the first day that we met… It's so hard though, because all I can remember is _him_. Inuyasha. The only thing that I can remember that day is when we first met; the scent of blood was in the air. I was angry, too. My wolves were dead and I couldn't have asked for any better person to throw my anger toward. A dog-demon, a half-breed, even, nothing could have been more perfect. God, I hate thinking about this, but I have to get past it. We ended up shouting at each other and eventually we ended up fighting, just the way that enemies should. I was a wolf, he was a dog, it couldn't have been more convenient. We tried to kill each other the first day that we met. I charged at him with all of the rage I could muster and he undoubtedly did the same. Yet, the best part of that moment was that I knew who he was, I knew his face, I could see his body, hear his voice, and smell his scent. It was a very, _very_ small moment, but I do remember it well. He meant nothing to me, absolutely nothing. For that one moment he was just my enemy and he needed to be destroyed without a single thought. I didn't love him, I hated him. It was so easy to do.

Then his scent hit me, it's that one moment on that day that I remember the most. I loved his scent the very first moment that I breathed it in. It was like… I don't even know. There are some moments in life where you just don't know why, but you're happy. You're peaceful and feel a great swell of energy in you. Life becomes meaningful and you feel like everything that you're trying to get is worth it. Sometime you feel that way when you breath in the air of a perfect morning, or when the rain suddenly stops after a long downpour. Whatever causes that feeling, it was exactly the way I felt when I first took in his scent, it was subtle, but refreshing. I had already thrown the first punch when I realized that I didn't really want to destroy him anymore. I fought him, but nobody won. I don't really believe that you can love someone for real the first time that you see them, but that moment was _damn close_.

That day, I did proclaim love to someone, but it wasn't him. It was Kagome. She's pretty, she's kind, but also strong and independent. I guess that I was trying to deny what had just happened in my screwed-up little head, but I felt safe when I yelled it out loud in front of him, his friends, and twenty other members of my tribe. "I've fallen in love with you, Kagome!" is what I said. It made him despise me even more. Better yet, it gave me a reason to fight with every time that we would ever meet in the future. Nothing could have been more convenient and in everyone's eyes, it made perfect sense. It was perfect, but I hate myself for doing it.

I found out one day that her home isn't another place, but another time. The only thing that was letting this line be crossed was the power of the jewel. The Shikon Jewel of the four souls, it's the cause of so much damn suffering. It's incredible, and somehow, terrifying. We all sort of swore that we would destroy Naraku one day. On that day, the jewel would be put back together and become whole once again. Days after that, we would try to find a place where no demon or human could ever find it again. We would fail, I knew it before we even started. Life never gives you everything. Days after our failure we would have to put an end to it and Kagome was the only one who could do that. On some uncertain day, she would have to put an end to the jewel with a final wish. On that day, the power of the Shikon would be ended permanently. That impenetrable wall of time would go back up and we would never be able to pass through it again. Because of that, before that fateful day, Kagome would have to make a choice. Her time, or ours? Inuyasha, or her family? There was no way to have both, and I knew what she was going to choose. Kagome is noble, she cares about him, I know. Still, she also cares about her family and, like me, she would place her pack over love. She would leave us.

I know it, I just know that day is going to come. That's why I'm writing this letter, a letter to myself.

I don't know what day it's going to be, but it's coming, and if you're reading this, then I guess that it's here. This letter is for your eyes only, so keep it hidden.

She's about to leave us forever, and I'm guessing that you're worried more than you've ever been in you whole life. Inuyasha loves her, you know this, and you've seen it in his eyes. Every time you've seen anything close to a real smile has been when he was with her, he's even laughed a few times when they were talking. Right now, as I write this to you, I'm calm and collected, but when she's leaving, I won't be. That's why this little piece of common sense has to be preserved and remembered for when this day comes. I don't know what will happen when they say their farewell, it might be nothing or it might be… it doesn't matter. The point is that you have to remember who Kagome is. Kagome is a good-hearted person, she's been your friend and she's put up with all of the flirting that you ever relentlessly thrown at her. She's been kind, she's brought you gifts, she's healed your wounds, even saved your life a few times. Hell, she even gave you this journal.

So, really, my point is, when the moment comes, when the goodbyes are said, remember. Remember everything that I said about everything that she's done for you, and show your appreciation. For that one moment, do everything that you can to forget about the love between her and Inuyasha that you envied so greatly. Forget all of those times when the looked at each other with the depth and meaning that you wanted so badly to be between you and him. Just for that moment, feel the swell of gratitude that she deserves and forget your jealousy. It's the right thing.

Last, I'm not so sure what will happen once she jumps down that well for the last time. The _very_ last time. The other will move on, no doubt, but I seriously have no idea what will happen to Inuyasha. That love that he been so strong between them is about to be broken, it's going to become impossible. He might move on, he might not. Something even worse than those two possibilities might even happen, pray that it doesn't. Whatever happens, remember this and follow it.

It's over.

The artificial rivalry between you and Inuyasha has to be over. It has to end. Once she's gone, once she's left us forever, the endless battle has to be over. I don't care what people think or what they say or how shocked they may be, it _has_ to end. So make every effort to let those days go and create something new between the two of you. That's your mission, remember it well. I don't care what I've been told, if it's a crime, then I guess that you're a villain, now. It doesn't matter. You have to befriend Inuyasha, you have to help him through this in any way that you can.

I guess… that's all I can say now. Just remember what I said, good luck, me.

-Kouga

Kouga quietly set the paper down at his side, he silently stared at the specks floating in the sunlight coming through the window. He took the letter up in his hand and took one final glance at it, and then at the waving flame one the table. The candle was a short stub in a mound of melted wax, well-used and nearing the end of its life. With a small motion, Kouga lower the corner of his letter into the tip of the flame and smiled softly as the edges blackened and ignited. A few moments was all that it took for the orange light to glaze over his neat handwriting and turn the ink to a bright grey and then to nothing. The ashes fell away in weightless flakes, leaving Kouga with the last corner of the paper in his fingers. He gave a firm blow toward the burning fragment of paper and watched the flames sputter away, leaving only the last words visible.

_Remember what I said, good luck, me. –Kouga._

With that, he left the ashes curling around in the air and slipped the remaining corner of the letter into his metal chestplate.

Today was the day. The day that everything was going to change.

That's all for now, kiddies! Write a review and tell me what you think. Anything you want more or less of? And don't worry, the lemons WILL come XD


	3. Farewell

The room was sleepy with an unusual silence. The scent of fresh ashes from the burned letter was mixed with the slight hints of other memories. This house wasn't normally a silent one, Kouga noticed this as soon as he began heading for the door. He knew what every scent surrounding him was, where and when it came from. They all collected in this room, all of the small and large memories. Behind the scent of the smoke, Kouga could pick up the unique smells of them all, Miroku, Shippo, Sango, Kirara, and Kagome. Hers was strange and foreign to him, even for a human. There was an odd excess to Kagome's scent that Kouga couldn't pin words on, it was a puzzle of many different, unusual sensations which he had never experienced. With her, she carried the colors of her era, that mysterious world that he could only imagine, but never see with his own eyes. The last few days, he had made a few connections between the foreign scents of Kagome's time and the generous feast that she had brought to them. Everyone would be so excited whenever she brought those odd, yet delicious luxuries with her. These last few days had consisted of them all burying themselves in every festive luxury and pleasure, from Kagome's era or their own. They had been celebrating all of the joys that Kagome had brought them, all of the ways that she had managed to enrich their lives. It was a way of celebrating the past so that, for a while at least, they wouldn't have to worry about the day that was coming. She was going to leave.

After Naraku had finally been vanquished, things happened much more slowly than Kouga had predicted. He figured that the jewel was a problem they would seek to address only a few days later, but he was pleased with being incorrect. It was on his mind all the time, but he never said a word, he never wanted to. Kouga wondered if the reason for such a long delay was because the others had been thinking in the same way. They returned to the village where the jewel had been kept under guard before it was shattered. Kouga needed to return to his pack, but he remained behind to celebrate Naraku's defeat with the others. That night should have been one of the happiest of his life. There was music, dancing, laughing, and a smile on every face, except one. Inuyasha was as he always had been, he never danced, he never laughed, and he probably never even smiled, not for real, anyway. Kouga had hoped that night that he would finally see it. The anticipation of that moment was difficult to describe. He watched Inuyasha from the shadows and lights for almost every moment, waiting for that one curve of the lips. He hoped that Inuyasha could be happy for just one moment, knowing that it was over, the hardships, fear, and suffering had been conquered. Naraku was dead. Surely the hanyou would have been able to smile at that.

He took his eyes off of Inuyasha's face only a few times, but he never saw it, not once. True, Inuyasha had been polite enough to turn the corner of his mouth up a few times to acknowledge his approval of something, but it was never real. With every moment that Inuyasha failed to express some inkling of legitimate joy, Kouga had grown more and more disappointed. He remembered when the bonfire in the center of the village had grown the brightest and largest. The orange light seemed to be the only flame left in the world and everything outside of its ambience appeared to be unusually dark. The droves of villagers, Inuyasha's friends among them, danced, drank, laughed, and chatted, while Inuyasha simply watched in the shadows, unusually dark. The silver-haired figure was quietly leaning in the doorframe of Kaede's small house. He didn't seem sad, but he just didn't seem to be joyful either. There really wasn't any emotion visible, it was empty, simply observance of the celebration before him.

Kouga remembered stepping out of that light and into the shadows, feeling somewhat desperate for even a small moment where Inuyasha might be happy.

The hanyou looked at him when he stepped out of the fire's light, away from the laughter and into the silence. There wasn't any anger or friendliness in the gaze, it was just a gaze, nothing more. Kouga remembered folding his arms and frowning. He hadn't been sure what to say.

"You're awful quiet…" he stated the obvious.

Inuyasha just kept staring at him, still no anger or joy, just emptiness. It was painful to see, Kouga would have even chosen anger over what he had seen on Inuyasha's face that night.

"What do you want?" the dog asked, the question spoken with simple innocence instead of the usual belligerence.

Kouga could only stand there and blink, he hadn't even heard one insult. He sighed and leaned against the doorframe, beside Inuyasha. He watched the shadows of the villagers dance against the orange flare for a moment.

"He's gone, Inuyasha." The wolf spoke, looking for a reaction in the hanyou's face.

Inuyasha stared into space, the flickering light of the bonfire trembling in his eyes. All he did was nod and lower his gaze to the ground. "…gone" he whispered, barely audible. The rhythm of the music and festive noises continued in the distance, Kouga searched for something to say.

"You want some sake?" he asked. Inuyasha cycled a deep breath through his nose, then paused.

"No…" he replied.

"Kagome might want to dance with you…" Kouga suggested.

Inuyasha paused again. He said nothing.

"…Do you… want anything at all?" the wolf questioned with sincerity.

Inuyasha waited longer than before to say anything, it almost seemed like he would provide some kind of request for a moment, but he never did. All that Kouga got was a simple "No."

He hadn't felt so helpless for years, any kind of emotion would have been adequate, anything at all. Eventually, Kouga gathered the courage to try something else. Slowly, he put his arm around Inuyasha's shoulders. It was the most friendly gesture that he had ever made toward him, and he was somewhat afraid. Sure enough, the hanyou looked straight into Kouga's eyes, but it wasn't shock or disgust, it was just surprise. Kouga tried to make his intent clear with a grin, but Inuyasha only looked away, not resisting or accepting.

"…he's gone, Inuyasha." He gave the dog a pat on the back. "_gone_…for good." Kouga smiled as best as he could, which at the moment, wasn't much of a smile at all. "…come on…" he added, hoping for some kind of reaction.

Inuyasha smiled. But it hadn't been what Kouga wanted. The smile was just another formality, not a response. It was just a soft, fake grin punctuated with a tiny grunt, that was all it was. Inuyasha was still empty.

That night should have been one of the happiest of his life, but it wasn't. So many times before, he had seen the end of a struggle. People would celebrate and the most incredible things would happen on nights such as those. Within his tribe, all of the hostilities would simply be cast aside. Rivals and quarrelers would sit and eat together, embrace and laugh in their mutual joy. Kouga had seen this kind of unity many times and it was _beautiful_. After Naraku had been vanquished, he had imagined the same thing between Inuyasha and himself. He had hoped so deeply that for even one night their rivalry would melt away in the same marvelous manner that he had seen in other people. He hoped that maybe he would sit in a circle around that bonfire, the entire group, Kagome, Sango, Shippo, Miroku, and everyone else being with him. He had hoped that Inuyasha would be among them in that circle, whether the hanyou sat across or, even, right next to him. He gleefully imagined Inuyasha freely being a part of that collective laughter and conversation. Kouga wondered if he would finish a whole bottle of sake like he usually did at any celebration and then turn to Inuyasha to ask for one extra swig out of the hanyou's own bottle. He imagined small moments of friendship like that, whether it was sharing drinks or telling stories. He had been excited for the night that they would celebrate their victory and he had been excited for those small moments with Inuyasha where they would exchange a grin or laugh. Those moments never came.

Over the few months after that celebration, Kouga should have returned to his pack, but he didn't. Kouga stayed and helped the others gather wood and build the home that he was standing in now. Each of them made their contribution to the structure, and at the end of their efforts, they had built a place that could be called a home. There was a room for everyone in this house, six rooms. There was a room for Kagome, one for Miroku, another for Sango, a smaller one for Shippo, and even one for Inuyasha. Kouga had laughed at this because Inuyasha didn't seem like he could ever sleep in a bed. Most nights, aside from the coldest ones, the silver-haired demon would watch the sun go down from the tree branches outside and silently fall asleep when the night finally descended. There was a final room meant for 'guests' as the others had said, but Kouga knew that it was really meant for him. He spent many nights lying awake and staring at the screen window, watching the shapes of the branches bob up and down when the winds blew. It was the same tree that Inuyasha was sleeping in. On some nights, even, the hanyou would position himself in such a way that Kouga could see the shadows of his feet hanging from the branches. He would listen to the soft noises Inuyasha made in his sleep for what seemed like minutes, but was probably hours. Best of all, Kouga could always catch the dog's scent on the air, it was something that he never stopped noticing. He enjoyed watching the Inuyasha sleep like that, and the dog's scent seemed to ward away the occasional nightmare.

Today was the day. The day that everything was going to change. It was both frightening and exhilarating. Now was the moment that he had to walk into. Kouga slid the door open and exposed himself to the sunlight. Birds were singing. Behind him, he left all of the familiar scents that had collected in the house and strolled his way through the village. He passed the doorframe of Kaede's hut where he once stood with Inuyasha. Through the activities of the villagers starting their day, he walked the length of the settlement and away from the bluster of the humans. The dirt road and small houses fell behind him and he found himself climbing the stone steps of the shrine where the jewel was once kept. Soon, he picked up the light traces of the others in the air. They had already made their way to the well. He walked through the shadows of the trees, the dominance of the human scent replaced with that of the forest. Along the way, he briefly looked at the abnormally large tree, the "sacred tree" as the villagers called it. It was where Inuyasha had slumbered for half of a century before Kagome stumbled into their world.

At last, the final sight stood in the clearing, at the top of the hill. They were all standing there, every face was riddled with dread. Kouga took a glance at the monk, then the demon-slayer, then the fox. He reached back into his chestplate and pulled the slip of paper out again.

_Remember what I said, good luck, me. –Kouga_

He quietly slipped the paper back in and took a deep breath, approaching the well surrounded by the people he had grown to call his friends.

Sango was the first to notice him. "There you are." she pointed out.

Kouga greeted them with a nod. Kagome looked up at him from the side of the well, which she was sitting back against. Kaede stood beside Miroku, looking down at the young girl. Kouga noticed Shippo tightly wrapped in Kagome's arms. Made distinct by his red kimono, Inuyasha sat beside them against the well, gazing intently at the girl's dark hair. Kagome gave a smile up to Kouga.

"We were starting to wonder." She said to him, loosening her grip on Shippo. Kouga wasn't sure, but he thought he could smell the salt of tears. The fox's face was buried in Kagome's shoulder.

Kouga returned an even broader grin and sat himself beside the girl. "I never disappoint." he replied, maintaining his ordinary attitude. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her, but Inuyasha on her opposite side made it difficult to do.

Kagome returned the same thoughtful expression, her only response was a polite nod. For a while, Kouga tried to think of something to say to her, but words didn't seem to be able to have enough power for all of his thoughts. He glanced at Inuyasha again, who had leaned forward with a sigh.

"K-Kagome?" the dog whispered.

The dark-haired girl turned her head to the hanyou. "Hm?" Inuyasha began to rub at the back of his neck.

"I was thinking… maybe" the hanyou's hand withered away from his neck. He was undoubtedly at an equal loss of words. "…Kagome… why don't you just stay." He gathered the power to look her in the eyes. "Just for one more day?"

Kouga couldn't stand the look on Inuyasha's face. Hearing his words, Kagome let go of Shippo and let out a deep breath. She let the young fox step out of her lap and slowly brought herself to her feet. For a while, all she did was stand there, fingering her lip.

Kouga watched her lower her head and sigh. "Inuyasha…" she began slowly, a deep passion came with the name she spoke. "…we can't keep doing this."

After a moment, the silver-haired hanyou was at her side, grasping her hand tightly. He searched her eyes. "Why not? Can't you just… stay?"

Kouga tried not to watch as she lowered her head even more, the slight scent of tears returned. She pulled Inuyasha into a firm embrace, resting her head into his shoulder. She gathered her breath, trying to form a sentence. To Kouga, they seemed to stand there like that for hours. Finally, Kagome drew in a long breath and spoke.

"Inuyasha… I swear…" she raised her eyes to his face. "…I swear that I'll never forget you."

Everything that she was saying seemed to hurt the hanyou even more. The others slowly drew closer to them, Kouga stayed where he was. Kagome slipped her hands out of Inuyasha's. The moment had come.

First she turned to Miroku, the monk embraced her tightly for a minute, rocking back and forth, and then he let her go.

Second, she kneeled down to Shippo, the fox leapt into her arms one last time and allowed his tears to fall. The young demon gave her one last hug and then he let her go.

Then, she brought herself up to Sango and wrapped her arms around her friend. A tear slipped from both of them, and then Sango let her go.

Kirara nuzzled her cheek one last time, and then let her go.

Kaede brought her into a respectful, sturdy hug, and then she let her go.

And at last, Kouga stood, facing her. She dried her eyes and gave a shy little smile. Gently, Kouga stepped close to her and quite suddenly found himself with her in his arms. Her hair was soft against his shoulder, her face damp with the tears. Kouga said nothing, he simply tightened his grip and let his gesture speak for him. All of his appreciation flowed through the moment, his friendship dignified by his dedication. Through a quivering voice, she whispered "Goodbye… Kouga."

And then he let her go.

Everything seemed to go mute after that, the silence that fell on them all reminded Kouga of how quiet everything seemed to become when it snowed. Kagome stood at the edge of the well, staring down into the darkness. Slowly, Inuyasha stepped up behind her, not a sound came from either of them, but Kouga could see her shoulders trembling. His eyes riveted to her, Inuyasha placed a single hand on her, almost as if to pull her back. Kagome turned to him and took one glance into the hanyou's eyes. She collapsed into him and the scent of the tears grew stronger. Her body jolted each time that she gasped for air, but each time she tried to breathe correctly, the tears would thwart her. The girl buried her face in the red cloth of Inuyasha's kimono, no space was left between them. Everyone waited, the two stood clenched in each other's grasp like a graveyard statue. Inuyasha's eyes were scrunched shut, his arm clasped around her. At that moment, Kouga thought of how things must have been on the day that she first arrived. She must have been lost, confused, and most of all, hoping to return home. Now, here she was, letting go had become the most difficult choice of her life. Still, Kouga knew the moment that was coming, and it did.

Their embrace slowly loosened, as one would see a knot be carefully untied. She took one step backward and then two. Inuyasha held her hand all the way to the edge of the well. Their eyes locked as she lifted herself onto the frame, Inuyasha still held her hand. Kouga could feel his face tremble at the sight, his mind was in the opposite state of his calm expression, his straight face was beginning to crumble from the inside-out. Inuyasha and Kagome were as still as death, Kouga barely heard her final "goodbye", the only thing that mattered was the last tear the escaped her eye before their hands were pulled apart. She nudged herself over the edge, the distance between their hands grew, and then she vanished into the darkness of the well.

Just with that one little push, Kagome was gone. Forever.

Inuyasha's hand remained suspended above the well, no fingers left for his own to grasp. He stood there, alone at the top of the hill, his eyes staring down into the dark abyss. Over time, the others chose to leave. They dragged themselves back to the village, Miroku, Kaede, and Kirara following behind Sango with a sobbing Shippo in her arms.

Kouga stood only a few feet from Inuyasha. The hanyou stood fixed in his stance. He wasn't crying, not even the scent was there, the same emptiness that Kouga once saw on Inuyasha's face was more prevalent than ever before. If that night by the bonfire had never happened, Kouga might have tried to say something to him, but he had learned something from that night. So, he only stood there and watched him. He tried with all of his power to see something in the silver-haired figure's face. He hoped that he might be able to see whatever change was occurring on the hanyou's insides, but it was hopeless.

It took a long time for Inuyasha to finally bring his hand back to his side. Kouga watched him tilt against the well's wall. The hanyou drew in an extensive breath, closing his eyes, almost like he wanted to fall asleep. Then, with no word or noise, he rose back up and began to walk in the direction opposite to the village. Kouga stared silently from the hill as he walked his path through the trees and deeper into the forest. The wolf thought to ask him where he was going, but he was discouraged to speak. Inuyasha's steps were sturdy and unfaltering, his march into the trees gradually blurred his shape until he shrunk into the colors of the woods and finally vanished. Kouga only stood. He walked his way up the hill and to the simple, wooden frame of the well. The lonely wolf leaned over the edge, taking his own moment to gaze into the abysmal darkness. He couldn't see the bottom of the well, not even on a day like this one.

Once again, he reached into his metal chestplate and found the corner of his letter. He must have read it ten times.

_Remember what I said, good luck, me. –Kouga_

Looking so intently at the burnt paper, he noticed the bottom of his name had been partially burned away. The last letter of his name was almost entirely consumed by the brown gradient of darkness where the flames had been. He let his hand hover over the deepness of the well, the paper resting in his palm. He read its words one last time and let the burnt corner flutter downward and out of his hand. Looking over the edge, he observed in silence as the white speck spun down into the blackness. The dark edges of the paper disappeared first, then the brown falloff, then the entire thing. Kouga rested his hands on the wooden planks the bordered the well, the sun had given them a welcoming warmth. Kouga took a moment to let his thoughts roll. The moment that he had anticipated for over a year had finally passed. In the background of his hope and relief, there was also grief and fright. Everything had changed just now. The direction that everyone was going in the wake of Kagome's loss would soon play out. He wanted to smile for the sake of hope, but it was another hopeless task. Now, his real mission was upon him. The path that Inuyasha would follow was going to be dim, but he would do everything in his power to be a light.

A breeze came and sent the strong smell of tears away from the wolf, he looked down into the well one more time and whispered. "Farewell, Kagome, my friend."


	4. A Voice Without a Face

Kouga stood in the shadows, he would have left by now, but something unexpected had struck his mind. His eyes were fixed on the last thing that he imagined he would have been staring at that night. His sight traced over a series of silvery locks, their color had been changed into something new and fascinating to him against the flare of the campfire. Inuyasha was asleep, more soundly than usual and the expression on his face was almost what he could call peaceful, but not completely. Kouga had never seen the hanyou's face when it wasn't riddled with anger or concentration. Inuyasha always seemed to have a reason for tension on his face, but in his slumber, he looked strangely different. It was like this one small change had distorted the way he had always seen him. It was very sudden and he had a hard time accepting that there was a reason for his strange new urge to touch the sleeping creature with his hands. Very deeply, he felt a desire to find out if all of these fascinating features that the hanyou carried were paired with fascinating feelings. The hair looked like it would be soft and pleasant if he could get it between his fingers, the skin seemed like it would be a refreshing, new kind of smooth.

Whatever it was, this odd new urge had Kouga's mind spinning. He wanted to touch Inuyasha, feel him under his fingertips, find out what kind of warmth his body gave off. Before he even realized how close he had gotten to the slumbering figure, his hand had stretched out and come only inches away from the skin. He actually felt the air from Inuyasha's nose brush the tip of his thumb. A small, strangely pleasant tingle ran up his arm and stopped his movement. He had barely even realized what he had been doing. His hand hovered for a moment and then he stepped away. It wouldn't be long before Ginta and Hakkaku would be ready to leave, they had only crossed paths in their mutual search for more jewel shards. Only Kagome and the monk were the ones who were actually awake when they arrived at their camp, he had noticed the rare sight of Inuyasha sleeping in something other than a tree as he was passing by and only took a moment to glance at him. How could he have resisted? Somehow, that glance had turned into a stare, he wasn't sure why.

He jerked his hand back away from Inuyasha and left as quickly and silently as he was able to. As soon as he was completely out of the fire's illumination, he tried to gather the breath that he noticed he had been holding.

"What the hell was that?" he muttered to himself as he scratched his head.

Just as quickly as he had darted away, someone came walking into the clearing. "Hey, Kouga, you ready to go yet?" Ginta asked from the side.

Kouga hadn't heard him, it actually took a few moments for the wolf to even notice Ginta's presence.

"Are you… ready?" Ginta asked a second time, drawing closer to his alpha.

Kouga tried to relax his body again by letting some more air out.

Ginta raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

Kouga stared into space, he was still trying to get rid of the strange tension he was feeling. "I think…" he flexed his fingers. "I think I just went insane for a minute."

"Kouga…" Ginta moved closer to him. "… I think that's the weirdest thing I've heard you say in years."

"Tell me about it." Kouga chuckled.

Ginta seemed to take a sudden interest in the stars up above their heads. "What kind of insane?" the other wolf asked as he began to sway.

Kouga returned an odd look. "What do you mean?"

"You know, like, violent insane? Crazy insane? Love insane?"

"Love?" Kouga almost jumped at the word.

Ginta cracked into a grin. "The two words _do _go together kind of well sometimes, right?"

Kouga waved the idea away. "Nah, it definitely isn't love."

"Why's that?"

Another short laugh came from Kouga. "Because it has nothing to do with Kagome." He replied.

Kouga was surprised when he saw Ginta roll his eyes at what he had said. "Well, whatever it is, we can go when you're done dealing with it." He strolled off into the trees, leaving Kouga with his ideas.

Over time, he came across an idea which pushed the thoughts of Inuyasha to the back of his mind, exactly where he wanted them. He had already said his farewell to Kagome, and as usual, it was full of his flirtatious charm. Now, though, he was thinking about seeing if she was asleep or not. He quickly made his way back to the camp, the small fire in the center was already starting to dim. He leaned himself against one of the nearby trees and waited for the girl to return. Momentarily, his eyes drifted back to Inuyasha and he noticed how the hanyou had turned around as he slept. Kouga scoffed and went back to staring into space. It wasn't long before she appeared out of the darkness, a sleepiness obvious in her eyes. He watched her unfold her blanket and prepare a place to sleep, she finally noticed him standing there when she sat down. She jumped as soon as their eyes met. Kouga made a wide smile for her and she grew calm again.

"You scared me." She whispered, trying not to wake the others.

Kouga approached her quietly. "Sorry." He lowered himself on one knee and offered her an admiring gaze. "You know, Kagome" he began as he widened his grin. "I travel all the time, see the world." As always, he tried to make a simple compliment as romantic as he could. "and after all this time, I still haven't seen anything as lovely as you." His voice reached its regular volume.

Kagome provided a small laugh. "Well… thanks." Her voice grew even quieter as she tried to encourage Kouga to do the same.

Kouga didn't seem to catch on. In his usual manner, he brought her two hands together in his own. "No, really, you are!" he continued, even louder. "I mean it."

She gave him an odd look. "Are you feeling alright, Kouga?" Kagome asked.

The wolf widened his smile even more. "Of course I am. I'm great! In fact," he forced himself toward her, to which Kagome responded by shifting backward. "the closer I get to you, the better I feel." His words were sewn more quickly than any previous flirting session. He continued, leaning in until their noses were inches apart.

Kagome was blushing in total silence, Kouga wouldn't let up, he just kept inching closer to her face.

"What are you… doing?" she squeaked. Kouga brought his lips only a tiny space from hers, it seemed like he wasn't planning on stopping, but somehow, he did.

They were stuck in that position for quite a while before Kouga finally woke himself up and let go of her hands. Much to Kagome's relief, he drew out of her personal space with a changed expression.

He brought his own hand back. "Sorry." He whispered. "I shouldn't have done that…"

Kagome tried to cool her face down, she had been moments away from trying to slap Kouga out of whatever had come over him. But judging by the apologetic look on Kouga's face, there was no need to scold him. Besides, she worried for how long the silence of their camp would last if a certain light-sleeper had been stirred awake by Kouga's careless mouth. What she feared most was exactly what happened next.

"Hey!" a brash voice struck out. "Get away from her, ya flea-bitten wolf!" Inuyasha immediately lunged up and straight toward them. Kagome barely saw what happened, but it wasn't long before the two of them were scuffling on top of each other only a few feet away. A brief struggle followed and then the two got on their feet, glaring fiercely at each other.

"I can't take my eye off you for a minute, ya horny wolf!"

Suddenly, Kouga bared his fangs toward Inuyasha, it was something Kagome had never seen before. The gesture he was making had a sharp, intimidating touch to it.

"Stupid, worthless, half-breed! What makes you think you deserve her? You can't even survive without daddy's old sword!" Kouga shouted as he clenched his fists.

Kagome's eyes widened as she listened to Kouga's words, it was a second gesture that she never would have expected from the wolf. Immediately, Inuyasha's face grew murderously dark, he positioned his feet apart and opened up his claws. The hanyou seemed ready to go for Kouga's throat, but before any further movement could be made, the beads around his neck flickered with light.

"Sit!" Kagome's voice shot out.

In a blur and a thud, Inuyasha was on the ground for the hundredth time with his shouting reduced to small groans.

Kouga lowered his fists and grinned. "You really know how to put him in his place, don't you Ka—"

"Get out of here, Kouga." Kagome commanded. Kouga just stared at her, he didn't take a step.

"Now!" she yelled as loud as she could.

Kouga jumped at the sharp volume of her words. He had never seen the level of anger on Kagome's face that he was seeing now. Her glare was more than enough to shut his mouth. Slowly, but surely, he drifted away from the camp and went pattering back into the woods. Before long, the two groups had parted once again.

_________

Kouga thought there had been fewer trees in the forest around the village. From his experience, trees seemed to be large and with plenty of distance between each other. Oddly enough, though, he had been searching every last damn trunk and branch for what was probably an hour by now. If he had said that out loud, he would have sounded whiny, but it honestly was a long time to spend looking for one person. The wolf groaned, he was close to just giving up and waiting for something to happen instead.

He gathered some more air. "Where are you, mutt?!" he hurled out once more. He had lost count of how many times he had called for Inuyasha and was quite sure he was beginning to lose his voice. The only response he got was the background chirping of songbirds. He sighed and sunk into the cradling roots of the tree. He was in need of a rest, anyway. Every small rustle of the leaves he had been hearing was always sending him on a quest to find the source. Every little noise was Inuyasha, whether it was a bush shaking or two branches scraping together. It was beginning to annoy him. Even now, he was wondering if perhaps the hanyou was trying to avoid him deliberately. He actually caught Inuyasha's scent on the air, but the same thing had happened four times before. But finally, he took the bait one more time and decided to look up at the branches. In the middle of all of the forest colors, the red of Inuyasha's kimono stood out. He saw the hanyou's foot hanging lazily from the tree branches above him. Kouga scowled, he didn't see how it was possible for Inuyasha to not have heard him.

After calling out to him once again, Inuyasha's foot stirred. Kouga heard him grumbling. "What the hell do you want, wolf?" he muttered softly.

"You know how long I've been looking for you? Were you just playing games with me?" the wolf quickly realized that his choice of words hadn't been wise. Even so, Inuyasha said nothing, all Kouga could imagine the dog was doing was trying to ignore him. "You've been out here for eight days." Kouga called up to him.

"Hmph" was all that Inuyasha responded with.

Kouga rose up and examined the trunk for whatever way the hanyou had managed to climb up in the first place. He scraped his was high enough to take hold of the lowest branch. After several switches from one branch to the next, he lifted himself up high enough to see Inuyasha in his spot between the arms of the tree. The hanyou looked like he was trying to fall asleep, which Kouga guessed was what he had been doing before he arrived.

Inuyasha grumbled some more. "Why'd you wake me up?"

Kouga looked over the hanyou's body for a moment. "Do you plan on eating any time soon?" he inquired as he pulled himself all the way onto the branch.

"Go away." Inuyasha mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Will you just answer the question?"

Inuyasha folded his arms. "What do you care? Leave me alone."

"I leave you alone and your friends definitely won't." Kouga retorted. He was well-aware that it wasn't just the hanyou's friends that were worrying. On the contrary, he wondered sometimes if he was the only person who had actually tried to speak to him.

Inuyasha said nothing, all he did was lay his head back, facing away from Kouga.

It was difficult to figure out what to say, but Kouga had no intention of leaving until something happened. "I didn't spend and hour looking for you just so you could ignore me." He said.

Inuyasha scoffed. "I'm fine. There. Now screw off."

Kouga wasn't convinced in the slightest. "If you were fine then I wouldn't be out here." Inuyasha went back to ignoring him, turning his head even farther away to emphasize his efforts. Kouga groaned. As far as he was concerned, trying to start a fight was out of the question. Still, he wasn't about to leave. "Look, can't you just—"

"I'm warning you, wolf, get the hell away from me." Inuyasha snapped, he was finally making eye contact.

"They're just worried about you. I know how much Kagome meant to you, so I'm trying to be nice, okay?" The words he uttered gave him a nervous feeling, he wasn't surprised either.

Inuyasha opened both eyes in the effort of forming a scowl. To Kouga's surprise, the hanyou actually unfolded himself and sat upright, glaring straight at him. This was exactly why he wished he hadn't mentioned Kagome, he knew the conversation was over now.

For a while, Inuyasha just glared at him, but in a swift movement, Kouga was thrown off of his branch by a harsh kick in the stomach, which was followed by the unforgiving impact against the ground. While he was laying there, reclaiming his breath, he watched the hanyou curl back into his nook in the branches and turn himself away.

Of course, Kouga wasn't a fan of being kicked out of trees, but it didn't seem to matter compared to how short their "conversation" had been. Honestly, it made him feel somewhat ashamed. He decided that trying again probably wasn't a good idea. With that thought, he brought himself to his feet and wandered away. It was moments like this that reminded Kouga how harsh the word "change" is. The last eight days that Inuyasha had been alone in the forest were all spent going over a question that was harder to answer than he had anticipated. This was the first attempt he had made at speaking with Inuyasha since the day Kagome left and the fact that it had been a first try wasn't exactly encouraging. Words seemed to be useless. It seemed that the only way for anyone to keep the peace was to allow the hanyou to remain where he was. For a few days, Kouga had chosen to see if some time alone was truly what Inuyasha needed Day after day, though, no encounters and apparently no eating, it became less probable that anything good would come of it. Kouga always knew Inuyasha as someone who preferred to be alone, but not in the way that he was choosing to be now. Like the cautious man he was, the hanyou had a small number of people he called friends. Only the people he trusted the most were the people he would share his life with, but now he had severed every connection. Kouga was quite certain that the only words that Inuyasha had said in the last week were the ones that led to him being kicked in the stomach.

Talking always ended badly, doing nothing seemed to only let matters become worse, and anything else that Kouga could think of would undoubtedly fail. He had gone over every possibility for trying to help Inuyasha that he could imagine; each of them seemed foolish or useless. He stopped to take another rest against a tree, his back still had a light ache from the fall. The last time he had been at such a loss, he had the convenience of people to offer their wisdom. As prince of the wolf tribe, the wisdom of his elders and comrades was not only a luxury but something of a requirement. The only one that could help him now was the elder of another settlement. He considered it briefly, seeing no harm in asking her. He was glad to have a destination after such a long time of having none. A few more minutes of walking and he was back in the midst of humans and the spicy mixture of scents that accompanied civilization. The hut was in a particularly quite part of the village, though. Kouga often found it strange how the noise of this village seemed to quiet down whenever he stood near this doorframe. He guessed that people made an effort to reduce their noisy lives out of respect for the old woman who lived there. The sweeter smell of a meal cooked the night before was all around the hut as he pushed the wooden veil aside and entered.

"Elder?" he called out in the stillness.

"In here." A weathered voice replied.

Kouga followed her voice to the only other room in the house. The stout, old woman was busy with a thread and needle in her fingers. She greeted him with a small glance and smiled softly. "My name is Kaede, Kouga, but ye manners are not unappreciated." She went back to stitching.

Kouga stepped into the room. "Sorry, old habits." He noticed that the cloth in Kaede's lap was too small for an adult, more likely to belong to one of the children.

"What may I do for ye, Kouga?" she brushed a loose strand of gray hair from her face. Kouga hadn't actually thought of how to begin, but Kaede was kind enough to give him something to do while he was thinking. "Sit down" she said, gesturing to the chair at the opposite end of the small, narrow room.

Kouga thanked her and lowered into his chair. He watched her repair the broken seam as he thought of how to ask his true question and still keep certain secrets safe. He began fiddling with his fingers. "Eld- I mean, Kaede…" she seemed to detect the troubled tone in his voice. "Have you ever really wanted to help someone, but haven't been able to?"

Kaede gave a nod. "I did not realized ye cared for—"

"It's not about Inuyasha." Kouga interrupted, trying to avoid saying the name out loud altogether.

Kaede casually continued with her needle. "No? Then a friend, is it?"

Kouga let two of his fingers circle each other. "Yeah… someone really important to me." He fingered at his chin, pretending to be realizing something. "Now that you mention it, it's a lot like Inuyasha." It seemed like a good way to strengthen his act.

"Yes. Poor boy." Kaede's smile faded. "We have all lost a dear friend, but he has lost much more than that." She rested the needle on the arm of her chair. "Your friend, Kouga, he has lost someone as well?"

"She." Kouga said to be more convincing.

Kaede bowed her head. "I see. And she won't accept the word of her friends?"

"I've tried everything I know." Kouga answered.

Kaede sighed roughly. She picked up her needle again and continued with the broken seam. "We try our best to protect ourselves from pain." Her thread waved in and out of the cloth again. "Humans, animals, demons, all the same. Sometimes we seek safety from that pain by escaping from what caused it in every way that we can." Kouga pictured everything that he had seen since Kagome left and everything Inuyasha had been doing. In all of the hanyou's action, he did seem to have been avoiding something, but escaping? He allowed the old woman to continue. "Your friend, in her troubles, is in such a state that the faces of her friends are upsetting to her."

Kouga was beginning to wonder if his lie had worked. "And… how am I supposed to change that?" he asked.

Kaede finished with another stitch and moved to the next. "Ye do not. Instead, ye must speak to her without a face, without a voice."

Kouga grew quiet, the advice itself didn't sound sensible. "How?"

Kaede's grin returned. "Ye are young and resourceful, Kouga, I have no doubt ye will find a way."

It was different from the kind of suggestion he would hear from an advisor in the pack, but even when there was still a gap to fill, Kouga had found the direction he was looking for. Many of the things that the old woman had said made a great deal of sense to him. He wasn't about to judge what was going on in Inuyasha's head, but the final piece of advice he had received was the closest he had come to a good idea for several days. The only thing that remained was how it would be done. It felt more like a riddle than a question. Yesterday, he would have been sleeping by the time that he came across his answer, but he had been kept awake in his thoughts. The answer was his handwriting. He knew that Inuyasha had never seen him writing, so there was no chance he would be able to guess. Even after hours of thinking, Kouga still wasn't tired. He knew that in this way, he could say just about anything to the hanyou and remain completely anonymous. It was perfect.

But the thing that kept him awake long after everyone else retired was exactly what to say. One thing had the potential to just annoy or upset Inuyasha and the other didn't seem like it would really matter. Kouga must have written and subsequently crumpled up ten pages of different things over the hours that he remained awake. The night grew deeper and deeper until he finally began to feel his eye getting sore. A few times, he shook himself awake and found that a few minutes had gone by. Even further into the night, he got to the point where he could barely keep his eyes open, but he finally managed to fill one, white sheet of paper with everything he wanted Inuyasha to hear. There was no name, there was no mention of his affections, just the reassurance that Kouga would never have the courage to say out loud. Perhaps one day, he would have been willing to say things like this to Inuyasha, but that day just wasn't there yet. For now, his handwriting would have to do.

By the time that he folded the paper up and neatly scrawled Inuyasha's name on it, the darkness of the night was beginning to turn pale. As quickly as he could, he rubbed his eyes and went running straight back into the forest. The cover of the night continued to dissipate as he searched for the tree Inuyasha had been sleeping in. If the hanyou wasn't still there, he would have to wait for another moment, which was less than preferential. He raced against the steadily rising sun to find his destination, the birds began their chirping almost as if to warn him of his low-running time. Thankfully, he came across the tree he remembered, and fortunately, he did in fact notice a still figure resting in its branches. Judging by his slow breath, Inuyasha hadn't been awakened by his noise and he made sure to keep things that way. He approached the trunk as slow and quietly as it was practical. From one branch to the next, he pulled himself just high enough to peer over at the back of Inuyasha's head. He was momentarily distracted by the way the hanyou's ears seemed to twitch as he slept. Like many before him, he had a strong urge to reach out and see what they felt like. Even now, when he worried for Inuyasha's well-being, the sight of him sleeping was still something that mesmerized him but Kouga remembered what he had came for. Very slowly, he placed the paper beside Inuyasha where he knew it would be found and as he finished his task, he crept back down and away from the tree.

Kouga figured that he had been awake for over a day by now, he only opened his eyes to check if he was on the right path back to the village. Several times, he actually swayed as he walked, he didn't realize that he would be so dysfunctional without sleep. Still, he was glad that he had delivered his message and even saw promise in what he had just tried. Now, though, all he wanted was to return to his bed and close his eyes. He wasn't sure what tomorrow was going to be like, but he hoped it would be something worth welcoming.

_Inuyasha,_

_It's hard for me to figure out what I should say to you. We've tried so many things and all of them have failed to get your attention. I'm not writing this to scold or judge you for the way things are going, but I just want you to hear something and I want to be absolutely sure that you know it. Whether or not you're aware, each of us are thinking of you all the time and we wonder if things will ever be the same again. Kagome meant a lot to all of us, but I guess that she meant much more to you. It's been hard parting with her and it will keep going like that for a long time, too, I know. I just want you to know that I want things to be different. I could never be arrogant enough to guess what's going on in your head, I have a hundred different answers to that question and I'm not confident in any of them. I want so badly to see you living your life, maybe even with happiness. I'm sure that the others feel the same way as well. Every last one of us, especially me, wants to see things get better, but the only one who can really make the first move is you. There are people who care about you, Inuyasha, and if it's their help you need, then I only ask that you be strong enough to ask for it. _


	5. Stuck in Movement

Kay! I'm back and since you guys have been so nice with the reviews, I wrote you all a nice lemon. Yay! XD I decided to make it a full scene instead of just the end so you can enjoy something while you wait for Inu and Kouga to get it on already! :D But enough of my yammering, enjoy the chapter.

The shadows had begun to stretch out from the trees below, the sunlight that remained reduced to a feeble orange. Even the tiny pebbles seemed to be skewed by their lengthy shadows at the top of the cliff. Ginta preferred to look toward the forest, though. He knew that underneath the multiple scatterings of amber leaves there was a healthy, reliable stream. His eyes could only catch the occasional wink of light through the distant leaves, but it was the crackly noise that was more obvious. Thinking of that place was easier than staring at the odd, distorting heat rising off of the thirsty ground. As much as he tried, he was unable to get the sun to move any faster. Staring at the ball of fire in the sky only seemed to make it stop in its downward motion. He wiped his brow and groaned. There was always some part of each season that he just hated. Even worse, fleeing to the shade wasn't something that would turn out to be very healthy for him. He wondered if Kouga knew how much he hated heat and was putting him at this post just to be firm. Of course, the emergence of this creature known as "Naraku" was ominously different from other powerful demons they had encountered in the past. Ginta knew that he probably should have accepted this as a kind of compliment, being his alpha's first choice in a time where their defenses were being worried over. It still didn't make him feel any less uncomfortable. Honestly, he had hoped that Kouga's sudden proclaimation of love for a human girl would be a reason for him to be cheerful for a while. If it was what Kouga chose, he would never question it, as many of the others in the tribe had. Still, there was one fact about everything that had happened in the last few days that would always make crack him into a smile. He was certain that the term "half-breed" had flown out of Kouga's mouth twenty times toward his newest rival, the dog demon with the silver hair.

Ginta fingered his chin for a moment. "...Inuyasha..." he recollected to himself. He found the name hard to remember.

What made him laugh was the fact that the only heirs that could exist between Kouga and Kagome was exactly what his alpha had been using as his main insult since he crossed paths with the hanyou. Even so, Kouga's decision to publicly, and quite loudly announce his sudden affections had surprised him enormously. He heard some say it was only a way of exploiting the girl's power to locate shards of the jewel but that theory didn't flow well with his mind. That was what most of his comrades wanted to believe, so only a few of them objected to the idea of Kouga's "love". From what he saw, Kouga had been feeling something on that day, but he wasn't sure what. Finally, he had something to think about instead of wishfully thinking of a nice, cool river.

He only had a few minutes before someone else would take his post, but it seemed like he had been forgotten at times. Naturally, it was a nice piece of relief when he heard the footsteps coming up behind him. He knew who it was, but he still liked the surprise of his touch.

"You smell great." Hakkaku breathed in his ear as he wrapped his arms around him.

Ginta laughed. "I'm sweaty." He retorted.

Hakkaku nuzzled into his shoulder and sniffed deeply. "and you smell _really_ great."

Ginta tried to nudge out of Hakkaku's grip, but the other wolf was having none of it. Eventually, he gave up and relaxed into the one behind him. "Why do you like that so much? It's weird."

Ginta couldn't see Hakkaku's face, but he was probably smirking, as usual. "It lets me know I'm wearing you out."

"and what about now? It's just the heat." Ginta said back to him, covering Hakkaku's hand with his own.

"I just like it." Hakkaku rested his chin on Ginta's shoulder, grinning out at the view ahead of them. Soon enough, he whispered into Ginta's ear what the other wolf knew was coming. "Sex."

"As soon as my relief gets here, which should be soon, by the way." He hinted back to Hakkaku.

Hakkaku rubbed his nose into Ginta's neck, eliciting a little moan from him. "Not later. Now." He cooed into the other wolf's ear.

Ginta shivered as Hakkaku kept nuzzling his skin. "Y-you're too impatient. We've gotta wait until it's safe, remember?"

"Nobody's going to know, come on." Hakkaku pulled Ginta in deeper.

"Just wait a few hours, it's no big—ahh!" Ginta groaned as he felt a mischievous hand rub at his crotch through his fur clothing.

"Sorry, what was that?" Hakkaku was definitely smirking now.

Ginta just began to feel even hotter, which was both pleasant and the opposite. "We have to—ah! Okay, fine!" he caved in as Hakkaku applied more pressure to his hardening member. A relieved sigh escaped him as Hakkaku brought his skilled hand away from his nethers, giving him a breather. Ginta managed to loosen himself from Hakkaku's arms and look him in the eye. Just as he thought, his partner still had a naughty grin on his face. Staying mad at Hakkaku when he had a smile like that was nearly impossible. Ginta was well aware of that truth and decided not to bother trying to deny his eager friend. "Follow me." He whispered, a similar smirk crept onto his lips as well as Hakkaku trailed after him.

The walk to their "secret place" was a short one, especially from where Ginta had been keeping watch. The pleasant shade that Ginta had been yearning for fell over them as they both followed the narrow path down the edge of the cliff. Soon, the only light left was a giant line cast across the dry, rock walls between the neighboring cliffs. On the back and forth motion down, they passed through it several times, washing Ginta in the harsh heat for a few seconds. Still, it was pleasant to be walking downhill for a while before they reached the narrow opening between the rocks. It was hardly wide enough for two people, but the space within was almost what could be called a cave. The thing that Ginta liked most about this place was the accumulation of sand that had collected at the bottom from all of the dust storms. Unlike most of the rocky areas around the wolf territory, the sand was soft with the exceptions of a few pieces of gravel mixed in.

Sooner than he expected, Ginta was swiftly pulled down with Hakkaku before he even completely slipped through the opening. They both landed in the sand, but Ginta still felt the fall in his bones.

"Not so rough, okay?" he tried to say to Hakkaku, but the other wolf didn't seem to hear him. Anything that he would have said next was halted by the shivers Ginta felt all through his body as Hakkaku immediately began nibbling at his neck. From one moment to the next, Ginta felt Hakkaku's tongue and fingers touch each inch of his damp skin. When Hakkaku was finished with what he could already touch, he unbuckled the straps on Ginta's armor and slipped off the chest plate first, allowing the cool air to provide relief to Ginta's chest. Tangled in a kind of embrace, Hakkaku's hands stroked across each of Ginta's shoulders, bringing the fur shoulder pieces along and leaving his lover's chest deliciously exposed. Thanks to the heat, Ginta was already having a hard time keeping his breath and Hakkaku's touch only made him pant even more.

"Still regret coming?" Hakkaku smirked as he gave Ginta a break. With those annoying clothes gone, it was a joy to let his eyes trace his partner's muscles.

"Just… keep going." Ginta replied between breaths.

Hakkaku was more than happy to dive back into the body before him, there were still a few things to take care of. Draping himself over Ginta, he slowly ran his hands down Ginta's moist sides, fiddling with the pressure of his fingers to elicit lovely moans from the wolf below him. Soon, his hands collided with the rim of Ginta's hip-wrap, but he didn't bother stopping. With some effort, and a little bit of Ginta's help, the last item of clothing slipped off and was tossed aside.

Hakkaku licked his lips at what he saw. He loved the sight of Ginta when he was this way. The other wolf's muscles were shiny with sweat and every last part of his body was exposed to him completely. Ginta laid there panting, completely naked, aroused, and with his legs spread apart; it was the best kind of way Hakkaku could see Ginta. His member grew rock hard, reminding him that he was still wearing his own clothing. He decided to let Ginta catch his breath as he let his own appendages slide off of his body and cast them in whatever direction he felt like. Once completely disrobed, he knelt back over his eager partner. This moment was always his second favorite part, the moment when they would come together in another tight embrace, but completely bare. He always let it happen slowly, savoring the fantastic sensation as his flesh came up against Ginta's for the first time in the session with not a thread of fabric between them. He started by warming up against Ginta's side, making sure to keep his crotch away from the other until he was ready. He snuggled his neck into Ginta's shoulder and trailed his fingers from Ginta's hand and up the arm. He went from the wrist, to the biceps, around the curve of the shoulder and to the underarm, enjoying the feeling as his fingers went through the soft hair.

Ginta's heart refused to slow down as much as his lover refused to stop driving him crazy. At last, Hakkaku pushed himself up to hover above him. First, their chests met, heating him up even more, and then their sensitive members finally touched, making Ginta hiss in pleasure. It felt like Hakkaku was moving deliberately slow as their erections rubbed together, creating that maddening feeling that throbbed and pleaded to be touched. Hakkaku began to stroke his torso again, his fingers going across the sensitive nipples every now and then. Ginta could barely keep his eyes open; the way Hakkaku stroked his body always put him into a blurry haze which he had little control over. Ginta finally stopped quivering when Hakkaku moved his hands away to run through the white parts of his hair. The wolf managed to get just enough breath before Hakkaku pulled him into a deep kiss. Both closed their eyes and reveled in the purely sensual joy that had been created. Hakkaku felt his way through every warm inch of Ginta's mouth and was even more pleased as Ginta returned the same motion. Knowing that his love was tired and hot, Hakkaku noticed how softened Ginta's movements were, enabling him to do whatever he pleased as they kissed. His fingers glided through Ginta's soft hair, from the light regions to the dark, allowing the other wolf to let his head relax into his hand.

Each time that their lips came apart, they seemed to magnetically return to each other. Finally, Hakkaku decided to break away as he noticed the way Ginta's panting had quickened. He hovered over the other wolf's face, gazing at the way Ginta had flushed during their session and grown even more tense. To him, there was nothing more beautiful to look at than the one below him.

Ginta lapped up another gasp as Hakkaku began stroking him again. "Stop… teasing…" he said with one eye open.

Hakkaku smiled down at him and placed a kiss on Ginta's moist forehead. "Happily." He whispered to him.

Ginta watched as the other wolf brought his face lower, bringing his hands with him to his thighs. A small glance from Hakkaku signaled for Ginta to spread his legs, to which he eagerly obeyed. He felt the itch in his member flourish as Hakkaku began stroking him and swaying it back and forth. His painfully slow movements were short-lived as they were soon replaced with something much more satisfying. Ginta felt his limbs contract and nearly cried out as Hakkaku enveloped his manhood in his hot mouth. The combined motions of his tongue and bobbing movement left every muscle in Ginta's body in a spastic state. He landed his hands on Hakkaku's head and attempted to guide his lover's movements, but he still had little control. By now, he was feeling twice as hot, but not uncomfortable in the slightest. It was sensual joy that was making him clench his teeth and his muscles tremble, but discomfort was a word that would never suit this sensation. He barely noticed Hakkaku freeing one of his hands from his thighs or when the other wolf brought two fingers a small distance from his entrance. As soon as two of Hakkaku's fingers pushed their way in, however, all of his attention shifted.

Hakkaku continued to lick and suck at Ginta's erection, combining the oral movements with his firm probing of the wolf's hot insides. He knew that he had found what he was looking for when Ginta tried to hold back a rather loud cry of pleasure. Not wanting to risk ending things too early, he slid his mouth off of Ginta's hard member and focused on the work he was doing with the third finger he just added. Hakkaku smirked as he listened to Ginta's erratic panting rise and fall as his fingers brushed the sensitive spots. When he finished his preparations, he took another look at the wolf's fatigued face before withdrawing his digits.

"Think you're ready?" he asked up to Ginta. His lover peered down at him and nodded his head; he looked like he would sleep for days after this was done. Hakkaku hoped for nothing less.

Steadily, he brought his naked body over Ginta's once more, the anticipation had made him feel somewhat tense as well. Distracting Ginta with a gentle kiss, as he always did, Hakkaku let the tip of his manhood reach Ginta's eager opening and began to push against it. As he pushed in, he revisited the space of Ginta's mouth. He could hear the other wolf's muffled whimper even as they kissed; he was sure that this part was always his least favorite. Still, they both knew that the discomfort was going to be well worth it. With some more effort, Hakkaku nudged himself all the way in and stopped as their groins met. He began leaving kisses on Ginta's chest and listened to him pant while he waited for the muscles to relax again. Hakkau held himself still until he knew his lover was ready. For a few seconds, their eyes met again and he couldn't help but lean in for another gentle kiss. As their lips intertwined, he heard a quiet moan from Ginta when his hard member pushed forward. He felt the tension in Ginta recede at last, allowing him to begin rocking back and forth. Their lips parted as Hakkaku's need for air grew to a new level; he was beginning to pant just as much as the one below him. Their foreheads pressed together as Hakkaku completed his first full thrust and felt the arousing melody of Ginta's pleasured noises reach his ear. Soon, the movements of his erection in Ginta became like the motions made against an instrument, forming an exquisite series of moans and pleas for greater speed.

Hakkaku could feel dominating pressure grow in him with each thrust, the scents coming from them both continued to escalate in their potency and fog up all other senses. If things hadn't become so hazy, Ginta might have noticed how tightly Hakkaku's arms had coiled around him. Hakkaku might have noticed how dangerously loud they had become as they continued to make love. Things usually ended up this way, which was why their activities had usually been carried out in the night. Ginta felt a powerful pulse with each thrust that quickly turned from pain to an addictive surge that ran through his body, leaving him in the form of his unbridled moans and perspiration. Before the rush brought on by each of Hakkaku's movements was even over, he desperately wanted to feel another one. All of the fiery pleasure seemed to cycle through his flesh in an instant and pool in his groin. From one thrust to the next, the familiar feeling began to consume, almost like a tingling itch going backwards, become more and more unstoppable.

Hakkaku's teeth clenched, he tried to hold himself back with every possible muscle, but felt them all being stretched between his efforts to prolong the blissful moment and to bring it to the climax. The trembling throb in his manhood charged through his blood and finally unleashed itself in the only way it knew how when his lover burst out with a fantastic cry of joy. First, he felt a viscous warmth shoot across his stomach as Ginta shook in delight. One second after that, all of the energy in Hakkaku's body imploded into one place and let loose a great wave of ecstasy. His seed went bursting into Ginta, filling the wolf's insides with a short heat before it began to simmer down to a soothing warmth. Hakkaku let all of the effort leave his muscles and fell across Ginta's moist body. They would both be ready to go straight to sleep in a matter of moments, but there was still the task of catching breath again.

With a few feeble movements, Hakkaku pulled himself out of Ginta and drifted up against his body. Ginta felt the other wolf's cool breath pleasantly brush his chest. It felt like the sun's harsh heat was beginning to wander away and allow the night to take control. The only light that Ginta could make out through the cavern's opening was the last breath of the day. He let both of his eyes close and slid Hakkaku up against him like a damp pillow. He wished he had the energy to tell Hakkaku everything he wanted to say, but he hardly had the will to stay awake. The only thing they could really think of was the feeling. It was the same kind of enjoyment Ginta found in walking downhill after a perilous climb. It was peace.

Hakkaku nuzzled deeper into his chest. "Ginta…" he exhaled, without ever finishing whatever it was he wanted to say.

Ginta might not have heard him a few moments later, he was alright with just spending his night in the sand with Hakkaku and if a few more minutes went by, he probably would have dosed off. The peaceful moment, however, suddenly hit an interruption when he felt Hakkaku jerk himself out of his arm. The sudden movement startled him out of the drowsiness. When he saw Hakkaku on his feet and trying to cover himself up, it didn't make any sense to him until he noticed a third figure at the corner of his sight. His reaction was almost identical when he noticed the opening of the cavern occupied by a figure The realization of this sent a burning charge of adrenaline through his nerves. It was like a snake had suddenly jumped out at him. As fast as possible, Ginta tried to shelter himself behind his legs. Kouga stood in front of them with wide, unbelieving eyes. The extreme shock ricocheting across Kouga's expression was more horror than they had ever seen him display. As horribly naked as they felt, neither of them reached for their clothes, everyone was frozen stiff with one emotion or the other. The only sound that could be heard was Ginta's quickening breath.

Kouga finally twitched and threw his head in the opposite direction, seeming to hit himself in the head as he did so. Ginta and Hakkaku watched him move like his heart was failing him, watching was the only thing they could do.

Kouga clutched his head tightly. "What—you!" he gasped for air again. "What the… fucking HELL?!"

Ginta flinched at the sharp increase of Kouga's tone. He hoped that Hakkaku wasn't at as much of a loss of words as he was. Kouga seemed to just break down and stop moving, aside from the deep rise and fall of his chest. Their alpha remained in dead silence for much longer than either of them expected. While he was still motionless, Kouga seemed to slowly calm down over he next hundred seconds. Hakkaku sank behind one of the rocks that was barely large enough to cover him. They both waited for anything to come from Kouga, but the only thing that persisted was the silence.

"Kouga?" Hakkaku murmured. Still nothing. Another moment passed and Hakkaku tried a second time, louder than before.

This time, Kouga seemed to respond, but he was still quiet. Almost everything he was thinking of were things he would never even consider saying to his friends. The best thing to do, it seemed, was to wait for this to turn out to be some kind of a bad dream. A few more minutes of the prolonged lack of dialogue began to bother him. "You guys…" his sentence was crushed before it could be finished. The second one had even less success. "You… you're…"

Hakkaku lowered his head. "We were—"

"Don't lie to me!" Kouga blurted out. "and…put your damn clothes on!" he barked as he continued glaring in the opposite direction.

Hakkaku was the first to begin gathering his furs, but he wasn't sure what to do with the white splatter still left on his stomach. He handed Ginta his hip-wrap and slipped his own back on. Even with clothes, he still felt the sickening, shameful heat on his skin.

Kouga sighed hugely. "You guys are lucky it's not my father who's still in charge." The wolf prince rubbed his brow at the very thought. "Probably would have killed you." He muttered to himself.

Ginta finished with his clothes. "K-Kouga?" he whimpered.

"What?!" Kouga snapped, throwing his arms outward.

Hakkaku knew what Ginta was going to ask, but the other wolf seemed like he couldn't finish his question, so he asked instead. "You're not gonna tell, right?" Hakkaku sank back behind his rock.

Kouga dragged a long exhale through his nose. "You guys are my friends…" he said under his breath. He kept on trying to massage the stress out of his face. "Dammit, you should have just told me…" he groaned, knuckling his forehead. "I might have been able to help you…"

The two wolves said nothing. All they wished was to be alone

_________

The night had overgrown itself, no doubt. Kouga had spent so much time trying to find the right combination of words to unlock the things he desired and to simultaneously keep the other things safe. Both with the confidence that he had done so and an itching soreness in the eyes, he could not have been more grateful for a bed to lay in. It wasn't often that a sunrise and the music of birds were the things he would fall asleep to. Even with all of the thoughts in his mind and butterflies in his stomach, his stormy head gently unraveled and left him in the safety of a deep slumber. One of the last things to cross him was that he would most likely sleep for the whole day. Oddly, Kouga found himself awake before the sun went down, possibly stirred by the small change in the air around him. The smell of blood was something that could make a charming day strangely uncomfortable and that distinct scent had somehow reached him. He pushed himself off the bed and sniffed the air. Whoever was bleeding, they certainly hadn't been bleeding a lot, it was only a light touch, not the awful, rusty scent that air would hold after a battle.

Still, his curiosity led him out of his room and in the direction of the source. Kouga was surprised at what he found. In the doorframe just two spaces away from his own, Sango had placed the little fox on his bed and was handling bandages in her hands. It took some time for Kouga to even begin to guess where the gashes along Shippo's chest had come from. There were three of them, the highest of them looking particularly long across the flesh. The fox had his eyes clenched, Kouga could tell that he was trying to hold back tears. Kouga didn't hold that against him, the gash was deeper than anything a child should have had to go through. Sango looked up at him as she unrolled the white bandages, the fox's blood was visible on a few of her fingertips. Kouga sat himself beside Shippo and offered him someone to lean against, to which the boy accepted with a whimper.

Kouga began to firmly massage the scalp through Shippo's orange hair. "What happened?" he asked Sango, who was cutting the first strip. She groaned at Kouga's question, seeming unusually fatigued. Sango laid the white strip across the highest gash and began wrapping it around the child's shoulder. Shippo winced.

"I'm going to make him regret this." She muttered as she guided the bandage over the gash a second time.

Shippo seemed to lean further into Kouga's side. He had hoped from the moment he knew he was seeing claw marks that something else was responsible. Still, he had to hear it with his own ears. "Inuyasha?"

Sango sighed deeply and moved on to the two smaller cuts. Shippo's voice was faulty.

"I-it was really… my fault…" he stuttered against Kouga. "I was b-bothering him…"

"There's no excuse for this, Shippo! None!" Sango's voice pierced.

"But… he…" Shippo sniffed, Kouga could feel the child tremble.

"We're all upset, okay, Shippo?" she covered the last part of the injury. "But that doesn't give him the damn right to… to…" She growled under her breath as she finished bandaging the fox.

Kouga was the first to notice a new set of footsteps in the house, he knew exactly who it was. Sango's scowl deepened as she saw him looming in the doorframe. Inuyasha's eyes took one glance at Shippo before he simply folded his arms and turned back around.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Sango shot up after him.

Kouga watched from the door as she followed him out of the house and listened to what followed. He would have gone too if Shippo hadn't started clinging to his arm. The shouting seemed to bring the tears close again.

Sango's voice blew in from the outside. "Are you proud of yourself? Do you have any idea how long it took me to stop the bleeding?!"

She just kept on yelling while Kouga and the fox remained still. Inuyasha never said a single word.

After a few moments, the shouting ended with "Fine! Don't come back until you're ready to act like a human being!"

The house was still for a while, Kouga had imagined what ever expression might have been on Inuyasha's face. At this moment, he realized that if he had tried to continue that earlier conversation with the hanyou any further, it probably would have been him that ended up bleeding. Sango silently strode back into the house. She pushed her fingers back through her dark hair and fell against the wall. Kouga hadn't even imagined an event like this and he was pained by that familiar sense of helplessness. The fact that he had been so hopeful only a night before served only to make him feel worse.

"K-Kouga?" a little voice called from under his arm.

Kouga's eyes drifted across the blank wall. "Yeah?" he rasped.

He felt Shippo let go of him. The fox sat beside him staring at the floor. "Nothing." He murmured.

Kouga quietly pushed himself off of the bed and roamed into the main room. Sango had slid the screen of her room closed, but Kouga could make out her shape against the sunlight. What he could see of her was only an unhappy shadow curled up beside the square of light that was her window. The house had never been so quite and had this number of people in it at the same time. Even the outside seemed to be distressed with silence. Kouga drifted through the doorframe to watch the trees make their secretive motions in the breeze. In one direction laid the rest of the village, and the forest in the other. Kouga was certain of the way Inuyasha had walked off. The one out there with him was gazing hard in that same direction. The one eye on Kaede's face that was visible never once glanced at him as he approached. There was only one thing to be thinking of. Kouga always found it strange how Kaede's short stature never seemed to make things feel different, even as he stood right beside her.

The old woman gave her eye a rest. "I worry for him." Came her creaking voice. "The new moon approaches."

Kouga felt a twinge at hearing that. The few times that he had seen the hanyou in his human form told him a great many things. At this point in time, none of those changes he observed in Inuyasha seemed like they could turn out well. In a sense, he desperately hoped that his letter had not been read yet, for this worsening of conditions was something he hoped his efforts had played no part in.

The wolf trailed several steps forward. He knew that Kaede's statement held a question which he himself was pondering. "Eld— sorry, Kaede?" he turned his head back to her. Their eyes met and Kaede almost seemed to nod. Kouga resumed staring in the direction of Inuyasha's path. "Would you say goodbye to the others for me?"

Kaede affirmed him with a bow of her head. "Be cautious, young Kouga." She added.

The wolf briefly hesitated to make his farewell gesture and then went striding in the direction Inuyasha had gone minutes before. Kaede stood and watched him as the shadows of the trees joined with the wolf's. Moments later, her old eye lost sight of him and was left to imagine what would come next.

Okay, that's all for now. I would have made this chapter longer, but I've kept you guys waiting long enough. I mean, the lemon turned out to be longer than the other parts of the chapter. XD

I'll try to get another update in on the weekend, thanks for reading and please take some time to review. Bye!


	6. Deafening

Haven't proofreaded this yet, so you will definitely see typos. Please enjoy and don't forget to review.

Kouga had thought that his latest troubles were never going to end. This had been the third time he encountered her. Thankfully, they had all somehow managed to break away and find a nice place in the trees to spend the night. He was trying to not worry about the next time Ayame would come back into his life, the thought was enough to make his head hurt. Everyone else seemed to find it funny, even Ginta and Hakkaku. The only other one that seemed to be bothered by it was Kagome. The worst sneer he would see whenever the wolf demoness was, not surprisingly, on Inuyasha's face. Kouga didn't feel particularly angry when the hanyou expressed his amusement, but it felt more like all of his clothes suddenly fell off in the middle of the numerous stares. First it was that dreadful feeling, and _then_ it was anger. He had to admit, Inuyasha had a talent for making him feel all different colors of awful. He was just waiting for the moment when his anticipated distraction would start up. Hakkaku couldn't seem to make a good spark in their campfire, even with a generous pile of tinder. Frankly, the wolf's repetitions were beginning to irritate him; they had been going for several minutes now.

He sighed in relief when he finally beheld a flicker in the dry grass Hakkaku had been trying to ignite. The flames climbed their way over the few bits of firewood they had gathered and formed a decent light for Kouga to stare into. He hardly noticed Hakkaku declare his departure for more wood. He was content to watch the tiny specks of light jumping up from the flames. He often did this when he needed something to distract his thoughts. The completely erratic movements of the sparks were a strangely effective way of demanding his concentration.

Ginta watched Hakkaku stride off into the trees and planted himself beside Kouga. "Kouga? Is this going to go on forever?" he tossed to his alpha.

"What?" Kouga lazily answered.

"She's just gonna keep coming back until you say 'yes' or 'no'." Ginta added, scratching his head.

Kouga sank his head deeper into his arms. "I've told her 'no' a million times…" he grumbled.

"But a girl like Ayame needs to hear and know that you mean it." The other wolf curled closer to the fire that was already beginning to dim.

Kouga brought his face up to glare at Ginta. "What am I supposed to do?" his words challenged the other.

Ginta took one of the stray sticks and began poking at the fire. With one of his small movements, the flames grew slightly. "You two would be great together." Suggested the wolf.

Kouga sprung straight up. "You're crazy! I'm in love with Kagome!"

Ginta nodded with a soft laugh. "You haven't even given Ayame a chance, I think there's plenty of things you'd like about her."

Kouga scoffed immediately. "Like what?"

Ginta leaned back again and watched the flames grow. "Well… she's strong, she's independent, she's pretty…" he chuckled at the following word that came to mind. "…and persistent."

Kouga's eyes rolled. "If you think she's so great then why don't you try winning her heart? I won't stop you." He laid back and let an eye close.

Ginta cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why would I do that?"

"Because she's strong, independent, pretty..." Kouga parroted as a grin crept onto Ginta's face.

"Pass." Ginta laughed as his alpha was in the middle of his list.

Kouga shifted to a better position, his feet felt too close to the fire. "I'm just trying to help." He murmured as he got comfortable. "I mean, you lecture me about not dealing with _my _problems."

Ginta's smile withered. One crackle came from the fire and was followed with a silence that seemed unusually long. "Problems?" the wolf repeated.

Kouga opened an eye to him. Ginta was looking straight back at him, but not pleasantly. "Look, I didn't mean it like—"

"Yeah you did." Ginta cut him off. The wolf's eyes wandered for a while and then he brought himself up, stirring Kouga as well. He turned his back to him and listened to the pops of the fire slowing down. "Why don't you think about what you just said…" Ginta said back to his alpha as he began to step further away from the fire. He stopped for a second and looked back. "Thoroughly." He attached to the end.

Kouga sat himself up and watched him walk away. "Where are you going?" he called.

Ginta barely slowed down to answer him before disappearing into the woods. "To find Hakkaku."

___________

_I love him. Everything about him. His hair, long and beautiful silver locks. His eyes, golden-amber shining with his fighting spirit. His body, slender and strong. I love everything, even his brash attitude, it shows he won't take anything from anyone! I admire that; it's more than I could say for myself. I love his expressions even though I don't ever see his true smile. His smile, his __real __smile, just a tiny moment where I know that he's happy, confirmed by the curve of his mouth. That's what I want to see most of all._

Kouga never had an entirely sensible reason to take those words out and read them again. Every time he did, though, he felt several different things come together at once. The best out of all of those complicated feelings was the happiness. No matter what the state of things, there was always a part of this entry in his journal that made him feel it. For even a small moment, he could feel something pleasant. The day that he wrote it was quiet. He had been alone in his chamber in the middle of the night and unable to sleep. He remembered how his pacing around the room slowly left him still and silent. Every memory he had gone through that was connected to him was pointing in the same direction. Inuyasha had somehow managed to do this to him. He had been awake when he should have been sleeping. When he was supposed to be in a scuffle, his mind would drift. His thoughts had traced through every different thread that had sewn his life. That night, he remembered a gash his father had given him. He recalled all of those moments he caught a glimpse of Inuyasha with some article of clothing missing and felt a confusing flutter in his body. His thoughts traced back to Ginta and Hakkaku, the secrets he uncovered and chose to keep. In the end, every thought that night had led back to that one person, and one simple conclusion.

When he first wrote those three first words on the page, he almost felt ashamed, but now he was the opposite. What he had written on that page was precious to him now, every word was more truth than he had ever received or composed himself. There was no choice or reason. He was in love. And he was in love with Inuyasha, for good or ill. He was proud of what he had written there. It would always hold some comfort for him, even in the current state of things. The sun was going down, which meant that the moon would soon be taking its place. He had been following Inuyasha's scent for nearly three days and it seemed like the hanyou hadn't stopped even one time. Kouga, on the other hand, had decided to grant himself a nap at the roots of one of the trees. The trail had been growing more fresh and he was in desperate need of some sleep. It was actually surprising to him how long Inuyasha had apparently gone without a single rest while he was reduced to such a fatigued state. Truthfully, he was still exhausted, but he had already slept longer than he had planned.

What was so bothersome was how similar different parts of this particular forest looked. At this point, Kouga was blindly following a trail with little sense of where he really was. All that he knew was that he had gone farther than he wanted to. One of the best things he remembered about the wolf territory was that there was always a landmark nearby, usually in the range of his eyes. For a while, he had begun to grow accustomed to the surroundings of the village, but the last recognizable thing he remembered had passed two days ago. Now the only thing that remained both familiar and even pleasant to him was the scent. Its call was faint, but his nose could still detect it. As he followed, the trail had grown easier and more apparent. One thing he still wasn't sure of was on his mind, though. From the looks of things, it almost seemed like the hanyou was slowing down. Thankfully, there wasn't a cloud in the sky that might threaten to wash away the subtle remnants of Inuyasha's footsteps. While his target seemed to be slowing down, Kouga was glad to speed up when the trail became more recent.

Curiously, the light scent ignited after another hour of walking and did so quite suddenly. Kouga could practically see the smell with his eyes when he was fortunate enough to welcome this change. His feet could nearly match the march of what would have been footprints. Another few minutes passed and things were like running along the edge of a stream. Kouga would normally have been disappointed at the loss of the challenge but this was most definitely welcome. The scent reaching his nostrils led him to imagine a line scratched right into the soil, clear and absolute. At last, he was able to break away from the sluggish movements he had been forced into for the last few days. Each pleasant thing that fell on him had its way of drifting away, though. The simple knowledge of that seemed to force his mind into a search for something else to trouble him. Sure enough there was something obvious.

The blue he could have seen up through the canopy had bled into dullness. He loomed over the imminent arrival of the moon as the trail continued. He knew that the sky would only grow darker. After that, the stars would creep into the hospitable new shade above him. What would follow quickly behind them would be that fingernail-shaped opening in the sky. There was no sign of it yet, but the world looked like it was mimicking Kouga's thoughts. He halted in his tracks when the scent dimmed as quickly as it had flourished. In addition to that, a tiny series of changes that Kouga had only suspected became a certainty. The hanyou's scent had gradually been shedding its canine tone with each step Kouga sped through. He tried to imagine the line as hard as he could for as long as he could, but he once again ended up taking one careful step after another.

He stopped to check the sky again, there was hardly any healthy color left but he couldn't make out any stars either. He resumed his steps and was quickly surprised for not noticing it earlier. The subtle trail left behind by Inuyasha had been crossed several times by the marks of unfamiliar people. Kouga scratched his head. Some king of encounter? That possibility grew less likely as the smell of humans thickened. His ears detected something beneath the ambience of the woods. There was the clinking of metal that was the most clear to him. He groaned when Inuyasha's scent camouflaged with the multitude of other ones. The only thing that his senses caught was humans, human smells, noises, and soon enough, sights. The first thing he saw was the yellow grid of windows along the back of one of the wooden structures.

He decided to call it racket instead, there were more different noise and scents around him than he was able to count. Other human villages he had been to promised a tree in any direction he looked. The only thing he could see in the distance as he approached what he thought was the center was more flickering lights coming from the windows. Against the blurred, black line that must have been the forest was more human abodes than he had seen at one time. It was true that the majority of villages he had seen had been no larger than ten houses, but this sight was still unnatural to him. A mess of different shadows were crossing with the candle lights in every moment. Finding Inuyasha's scent had become an even greater challenge than he had experienced before. If the new moon hadn't been imposing its effects on the hanyou, a dog demon's scent would have been easy to pick up. Frankly, it was strange how Inuyasha had chosen to walk through this place. By the time that the sun went down, Kouga was used to him finding a tree to spend the night in. It had already gotten dark enough for the small details of the village to be blotted out and for the hanyou to be closing his eyes. If he had settled here, it would have at least give Kouga time to catch up.

The only trail he could follow was the occasional spot where he could discern Inuyasha's smell from the others. He was glad that the night had finally came, or else he imagined that the villagers would have been staring at him foolishly wandering around looking for a straight path. The next thing to pinch his nose was something that covered up any remaining sign of Inuyasha's trail, but it made Kouga groan for a different reason. His eyes were caught on a familiar speck of red several paces ahead of him, right in the center of the mixture of erosive scents and greedy laughter. Not all alcohol bothered him in small amounts, some actually carried a sweeter smell, but everything was concentrated around this small set of four wooden walls. Barely at the edge of the wide doorframe was the shade of Inuyasha's fabric. It was actually odd how well the hanyou blended into the scene. Like all nights of the new moon, his humanity was unquestionable to those who didn't know any better. Every shade of silver had departed and left behind an inky blackness. His white ears were gone; the aura of the hanyou was something Kouga had seen only a select few times. Cautiously as he could, he strode into the quivering glow of the oil lamps hanging above the heads of everyone inside, carelessly drinking from their tiny glasses. Kouga drifted through the doorframe into the storm of chatter, watching Inuyasha pour another swig into his mouth. He was sitting at the only counter high enough to require stools at the very end of the row.

Just like every other human inside, Inuyasha never noticed Kouga come up behind him. Even after Kouga took up the lonely stool next to him, Inuyasha displayed no deviation of attention from his bottle. The felt as if he didn't exist, Inuyasha reacted to him no differently than to the previously empty seat. What little could be seen of the dog's pupils were staring in no particular direction. Kouga saw no remains of the golden color that was normally present in the irises; it was clouded out with a simple tone of brown. The image made Inuyasha's hatred of this night a completely mutual feeling. The hanyou's eye gazed coldly into the neck of the cheap glass bottle. Kouga tried stirring some attention out of him by clearing his throat. Inuyasha just tilted his head as far back as he could and waited for every last drop to trickle down his throat. When Kouga was certain that the sake was completely dry, the hanyou clunked the spent bottle down on the counter and immediately grumbled for another.

Kouga gave up waiting for a response. "You know what night it is, don't you?" He questioned as gently as he was able. It didn't seem to soften the immediate glare he got out of the corner of Inuyasha's dark eye.

He thoughtlessly snatched the next bottle out of the bartender's hand and popped the cork off. "…What the hell are you doing following me around, wolf?" he growled. He barely finished the sentence before sloshing down another swallow.

Kouga began noticing the flush across Inuyasha's cheeks in the dim light. He leaned forward to get a better look. "Would you just answer the question?" Kouga asked, trying to be heard over the noise of every other voice around them. Inuyasha's eyelids looked ready to collapse shut, Kouga was fairly certain it wasn't just the alcohol that was making him look so exhausted.

Inuyasha landed the bottle back down again. "Course' I know what night it is…" he muttered so Kouga could barely hear him, let alone the humans. As he rose the bottle up again, his hand swayed awkwardly before he corrected his motion. "…why do you think I'm here?" his voice collided with the cascade of liquid in the neck of the bottle.

"You know that humans can't take a lot of this stuff." Kouga felt like he was thinking aloud.

Inuyasha almost seemed to laugh before it collapsed into a wheezing cough. "Like I said." He reminded Kouga before going back to his drink.

The wolf didn't find any of the possible meanings of that statement comforting. "So are you coming back?" he asked the obvious aside from the countless other things that he was thinking of saying.

"No." Inuyasha replied like it was the most foolish question he ever answered.

Kouga was getting tired of watching. It wasn't the answer he was hoping for or even expecting. Inuyasha looked like he was ill. "You have to come back sometime, you know." The wolf said, staring right into the hanyou's empty, dark eyes.

Inuyasha laid the glass to rest and slouched himself across the surface of wood. His head swayed for a moment. One hand went through the locks of dark hair, only making them even messier. Kouga watched him grow motionless and it he began wondering if the hanyou had fallen asleep all of the sudden. The only sound between them was the multiple conversations around them before one of the hanyou's eyes opened and shot a glare straight at him. "Fuck you." He uttered his two loudest words yet and practically launched himself away from the table, nearly crashing against the edge of the doorframe as he did so.

Kouga watched Inuyasha regain his balance and stumble outside. He swayed in a full circle and nearly tripped before taking a few flimsy steps in a direction that was generally opposite to the wolf. He briefly checked if the bartender had noticed Inuyasha's sudden departure and followed directly after him. The hanyou seemed to be under the delusion that he was fast and coordinated enough to get ahead of Kouga. The wolf barely received a glance when he paced up beside him.

"Where are you going?" Kouga effortlessly followed alongside the disoriented figure.

Inuyasha grumbled something unintelligible and swayed himself to a halt. "None of your damn… business…" he repeated more clearly.

The dog drifted back to a poor excuse for balance and picked up his pace to something approaching a run. Kouga simply quickened his walk. "Look, I'm sure the other have forgotten all about it, if you just go back—"

"To hell with them! I don't give a damn what I did!" Inuyasha spat back at him. Kouga watched him try to pick up his pace, but the effort failed. The dog swayed and collapsed in the dirt, making feeble attempts to regain his feet.

Kouga darted to his side. "That's not true, mutt." He regretfully noticed the slip of his habits, everything had just been trying his patience lately and had left him careless. He hoped Inuyasha hadn't noticed the remark.

As soon as the wolf grasped an arm, the hanyou jerked away, the force nearly tipping him over. "Get off. I don't need you." He snapped at Kouga. The wolf stared in dead silence as Inuyasha pitifully tried to pull himself up once twice, and a third time where he lost the support of his arms as well.

Kouga stepped back up to him and knelt down, reaching once more for the dog's shoulder. "Come on, Inuyasha, just let—"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" roared Inuyasha in a sudden outburst of flailing arms. Kouga jumped at the volume of his voice. He stood still and continued to watch Inuyasha drag himself a small distance and finally get back on his knees.

"Inuyasha…" Kouga barely whispered to the one before him. There were three words that he wished could follow his call. In that moment, being forced to see what he was seeing, he desperately hoped that perhaps those three words would turn things around. He wanted to say it loudly, no matter how much it shocked him, he wanted to know if Inuyasha hearing those words would somehow make things better. Yet, deep down, he knew that the risk wasn't worth it and the possibility too impossible. All he was left with was a loss of words. Inuyasha seemed afraid to move another inch, he had gotten back to his knees and another shift would likely send him back to the ground. Kouga could hardly hear his husky breath. Finally, he found something he wanted to ask.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

The moment that the wolf said it, Inuyasha's back straightened. As slow as the steady shift of the clouds above them, the dog turned his head. Beneath the dark shades of his hair, Kouga saw a glint of the intense stare he was receiving. Inuyasha's eyes narrowed to slits. "Why?" he repeated softly. To Kouga's surprise, Inuyasha was back on his feet after a frightfully shaky process of standing. On both legs, it looked like the dog was ready to fall straight back down. He didn't.

Inuyasha balled his fists, the knuckles cracked. "Why?!" he shouted a second time.

The figure clumsily stumbled forward and threw his fist toward Kouga's face, which he avoided with ease. Inuyasha nearly fell back down as he threw his arm out into the air. He slowly regained the stability in his legs and straightened himself out. Kouga chose not to back away as the hanyou approached a second time. The dog demon mustered a decent posture and looked Kouga straight in the eye. "I'm sick of you games, mangy wolf. You know damn well 'why'!" he shouted straight into Kouga's motionless face.

It looked like Inuyasha was gathering the breath to yell something else at him, but nothing came. Those dark eyes drifted shut for a moment and then Inuyasha's stance completely fell apart. Kouga reflexively stepped up and caught the hanyou in his arms as the dog lost his balance and fell again. The strong scent of the alcohol had drowned out all of he pleasantness in Inuyasha's smell, Kouga nearly gagged when they drew so close to each other.

He waited for the struggle to begin, but not one move came from the creature in his arms. Inuyasha was perfectly still, even when Kouga tried to shake him awake. The wolf waited for a few more minutes but there was still no movement or noise aside from the half-demon's quiet breathing. Kouga was even quieter. In his best effort not to awaken the one in his grasp, the wolf shifted Inuyasha into his hold and silently walked back toward the line of trees with the black-haired man in his arms.


	7. Dogs and Cats

Other, more peaceful nights, he had listened to Inuyasha's breathing. Even to the ears of a demon, it was quiet. Simultaneously, it was fragile and delicate, awaiting the proper noise or touch to shatter its peaceful tone. Kouga had always loved to listen to it when he laid on his bed back in the village. As the pattern of feathery sounds accompanied him in his slumber, his dreams were kept safe. He felt safe. He remained as silent as possible for fear that he would awaken the one just beyond the thin barrier of the window, casting his soft shadow across the beige screen. If he hadn't been so tired from following Inuyasha for nearly four days with only fleeting grants of sleep, the sound thrust in place of that breathing would have kept him awake. He tossed and turned every few minutes but there was no place of true comfort. No matter how much he shifted and groaned, the march of Inuyasha's breath would not falter. What he heard was something deep and unbreakable. The hanyou probably wouldn't be stirred even if Kouga shook him. The rise and fall of the sound was rickety, it was a strange inverse of what the wolf remembered. Hearing it, he wondered if his letter had ever been read at all. He admitted to himself that he had no way of predicting what would become of Inuyasha following Kagome's departure. He had been annoyingly correct. He never would have predicted what transpired the previous night.

As he slept, Inuyasha placed opposite to him, Kouga was fortunate enough to have no dreams. His memories of what had been happening before just faded into emptiness and allowed him to pass into a decent rest. In one moment, he was trying to adapt a satisfying position. Then, suddenly, he felt the sunlight dart onto his arm and slow down. He was quite certain that he was awake, but he didn't really care. He was just glad that the distorted snores of Inuyasha had vanished. His nose was no longer enduring the stench of alcohol. It surprised him that he was even awake, he wasn't sure what had stirred him. He thought he could remember something nudging his side, but it never came across as important. He merely observed the changing shapes of golden light laid across his arm and crossing onto the root that he was nestled against. He couldn't hear very many birds. There were less, at least, than he was used to. This place had grown silent; it was almost pleasant. It was enough to make him content with laying still for now, despite his curiosities. If he moved, he would know why he was still smelling Inuyasha. It didn't sound like the hanyou was still unconscious. He doubted that the intoxication he had witnessed last night would last very long once the new moon vanished.

He was prepared to let his eyes close when a papery rustle prompted him to open them again and listen. He didn't hear it for a while, but he still heard the creaking of something rather familiar. His ears focused on the apparent source. The flop of a page came a second time. Just as he pried himself from his place, Kouga heard the sound again and the first thing that registered was the shade of red that clothed Inuyasha. The object that he noticed next sent him springing straight up. The two dusky eyes were frowning hard at the pages of a book. Kouga knew immediately that it was his journal. His heart couldn't help but race when he saw Inuyasha looking straight at the characters on the page, holding countless, unpleasant possibilities.

He heard the paper tear as he jerked the book out of Inuyasha's hand and engulfed it into his arms. The half-demon gazed up blankly from his empty hands, making Kouga feel ready to vomit. He could feel heat rising in his cheeks; it was hard to breath. The one sitting before him made no move. He only provided a stare.

Kouga felt the words break in half before they left his lips. The journal shook in the grip of his sweaty palms. He was terrified but he allowed himself a small glance at the page that was open. Once glance was enough to show him the first line.

_I love him Everything about him…_

He knew that part of what he was feeling was anger, even though he didn't know why. It was the one thing that he wasn't ready for anyone else to read. He was angry.

He glared up from the page to see that Inuyasha was still looking at him. Kouga felt his face trembled and, at last, blaze with words.

"Why are you looking at this? Who said you could touch this!?" He felt like he was being mocked when Inuyasha looked at him like he was a madman. Kouga's teeth gritted. "Answer me!" he shouted.

The wolf waited for a reply that never came, one that didn't seem to exist. Inuyasha's eyes were still and focused.

Kouga traced the tear that had formed across the page, crossing with a series of crinkles. "What did you read?" He asked as calm as he was able. It was difficult to remain that way when the only thing that came was silence. He felt the scowl twitch on his face. "What the hell did you read?!" Kouga reiterated.

He was about repeat himself when Inuyasha answered "Nothing."

Kouga wished desperately to believe that answer, but he couldn't. "You have to have read something! So tell me what you read!" he fumed.

Inuyasha quietly stood, paying no mind to how tense Kouga had grown. "I was just looking at it." He said bluntly. The hanyou looked tired and bored. That was the only thing that Kouga spotted on his face.

The simple nature of Inuyasha's movements astounded the wolf to no end. "What? So you were just blankly staring at a bunch of—"

Inuyasha had begun to walk away but stopped just as quickly as Kouga halted mid-sentence. The wolf managed to slow his heart and arrive at the conclusion. The thought crossed his mind and came to him completely flawless. Still, it was hard for him to believe. He noticed Inuyasha casually drifting away again, not an inkling of awareness in the shift of his steps.

Kouga stared into the words scrawled across the desecrated paper. He recalled the time when the characters were as meaningless to him as a blank page. He could barely hear himself utter Inuyasha's name the first time. He watched the hanyou stop again when he called a second time "Inuyasha?"

Two amber eyes looked back to him, impatient. The journal lowered in Kouga's hands. "You can read…" the wolf inquired. "…can't you?" A sardonic huff instantly came from the silver-haired figure. Inuyasha pattered off, refusing to provide another word. Kouga sank back to the ground. The relief he should have been feeling was dulled by every other thought in his head. Eyes looming over the damage done to the page, the different emotions couldn't be counted.

_________

"I'm going right now and you can't stop me!" Kouga growled as he freed himself from Sango's grip.

The demon slayer groaned, tired from the several minutes they had been engaging in this. "You can afford to wait for a few minutes!"

Kouga was ready to kick off the ground. "Whatever it is that she needs to say, she can say it when I get back." The wolf returned his gaze to the horizon, searching for the proper direction.

Before he could dart off, a creaking voice drew his attention. "That will be a matter of _if_ ye return, Kouga." The wolf turned to spot the old woman approaching them steadily. The others finally relaxed with her arrival.

Kouga was only growing more impatient. "What could be so important that you have to keep me here? And what do you mean by 'if'?"

Kagome stepped in her direction. "Sorry, Kaede, we tried to stop him."

She raised a pardoning hand for the girl. Kaede opened her un-patched eye to Kouga. "Ye are too impatient, young Kouga. There is cause to exercise caution."

Kouga folded his arms with a huff. "I don't need to be lectured. All I know is that there are bodies back at that castle that are waiting for a burial. I told you that as soon as we got everyone to safety I was going back. You heard me." The wolf reminded them all with confidence.

Kouga was momentarily distracted when he noticed Inuyasha's silver and red approaching from the village laid at the hill's feet. Kaede and the others had not spotted him yet. "Kouga, have ye considered the aura left behind at Naraku's castle?"

The wolf prince scoffed. "You kept me waiting just for that? I know what happens when a strong one dies. I've seen it a hundred times." He finished by rolling his eyes at the remark.

Kagome greeted Inuyasha with a nod as the hanyou stalked up the slope. Kouga did his best to keep his eyes on the old woman speaking to him, but it wasn't easy. "I am quite certain that ye have not witnessed this sort of occurrence before." Kaede continued as Inuyasha pattered up behind her.

The dog held out two pinched fingers. "I believe _this_ belongs to you?" he grumbled down at Kaede.

She held her hand out and a small, jittery speck dropped into her palm. "Thank you, Inuyasha." Her courtesy went unnoticed. The half-demon silently turned back and retraced his steps down the hill.

Kouga was slightly surprised when the tiny thing in Kaede's hand sprung up the folds of her sleeve and to the height of the old woman's shoulder. He looked closer and was quite certain that the speck was greeting him with a respectful bow. It was something he couldn't completely fathom before his ears met the familiar, stuffy voice of the flea.

"Apologies. Master Inuyasha is, shall we say, hard to resist?" Myoga bashfully declared his excuse.

Kouga was mildly annoyed by the way Myoga's words seemed like a thought torn from the privacy of his head. "Is there something I need to know, here?" he pushed impatiently.

The wolf heard Myoga clearing his throat in prequel to the usual lesson he had to share. "Yes, prince Kouga, there is."

The wolf waited for the flea to continue, as it seemed Myoga was awaiting permission to do so. Kaede was kind enough to urge the flea onward. "Tell him exactly what ye told me, Myoga." She requested.

"Yes." Myoga began, looking straight up to Kouga's relatively giant face. "I'm sure you have encountered this phenomenon before, prince Kouga, but I stoutly believe that this will be more than a few demons lusty for the scraps of a vanquished behemoth."

"I know how it works. The demonic aura gets left behind, demons gather trying to absorb it, and then they end up killing each other. I get it. Can I go now?" Kouga sped through his sentences.

The wolf could make out the tiny creature waving one of his hands. "Not so fast. This aura is much greater than any other in known history." Myoga sat himself down on Kaede's shoulder. "A long time ago, probably before you were even born, I remember there being many more demons than there are today." He began with closed eyes. Kouga was about to ask what the point was, but Myoga quickly continued. "You could expect to see sky-dwelling demons cross the clouds almost every day. The roamed the land as common as insects."

Kouga raised an eyebrow. "Believe it or not, I'm actually interested in this but I don't have time to waste."

Myoga sighed. "My point is that lesser-minded demons such as the ones that composed Naraku in the first place are in smaller numbers today for a reason." Kouga chose to allow the flea to continue his story. "You know of what I speak, creatures who lack compassion or emotion, mechanical seekers of greater power until they meet their demise. Not the demons like yourself or Master Inuyasha, the true monsters of this earth."

Kouga scratched his head. "I figured that the humans were the ones responsible for the smaller numbers."

"Oh no. Not at all. Humans, you see, were quite scarce. Few could expect to live longer than two decades and permanent settlements were almost non-existent." Myoga spoke almost mournfully as he reminisced. "You see, they were a rather helpless race in those times, hardly a threat to the demon population."

Kouga crossed his arms. "Then what caused it?"

"To be quite frank, it was demon matters that became demon problems." The flea resumed speaking from Kaede's shoulder. "It wasn't unusual for the weaker demons to be destroyed in their bloodshed, but the great and powerful ones rarely met their death in battle. Bringing about their demise was a monumental task." Myoga grew silent, it would seem that something chilling had crossed his mind. The other had been quietly listening, and Kouga, fortunately, was also immersed in Myoga's tale.

"Myoga?" The monk entered the conversation. "If demons gather around the remnants of a large demonic aura, then is gathering proportionate to the aura itself?" he questioned, eliciting the curiosity of everyone else.

Myoga sat still in his place. "Very good, Miroku. From what I have seen, there is no limit to the size of the gathering. One such event proved that to me most profoundly." The flea seemed to prepare for his next set of words. "A great cat-demon known as Kiraju."

"Surely ye know of his demise, Kouga?" Kaede inquired.

Kouga had heard the name before. What bothered him were the varying versions of the story he had heard, he never fully believed any of them. "I know that he was defeated by another demon…" he recollected. "But what does this have to do with me?"

"You see, Prince Kouga" the flea continued. "Most demons of that sheer size and power can only be vanquished by the decay of time. In nature, this allows their demonic aura to gradually dissipate before their last breath." Myoga paused a second time to grant himself the proper words. It seemed to Kouga that the tiny demon had little experience in telling this story. "The death of Kiraju, much like Naraku, was one caused by battle. His demise was sudden and unexpected."

"And who killed him?" the wolf questioned. It had been years since he had heard anyone speak of this particular demon.

Myoga provided a confirming nod. "Ah, yes. I sense that you have already guessed, Prince Kouga. Kiraju's triumphant enemy was none other than Master Inuyasha's father."

Kouga was undoubtedly interested but the answer didn't come to him as a surprise. Even at his considerable age, he knew little about these two legends beyond what randomly reached his eyes and ears. "Dogs and cats, I guess." He murmured to no one in particular.

"Indeed." Myoga concurred. "Like all demons who are abruptly destroyed, Kiraju's aura was left behind to dwindle away. So, inevitably, great droves of demons were drawn to the location of his death from every direction and distance." Myoga bashfully began to fiddle with his hands. "…myself included." He quietly attached to the end. The flea cleared his throat and rushed back to the story. "It was quite a long way to go, but I had few other things to worry about. I suppose I was more curious than instinctual."

"And the aura around the body, it was as strong as Naraku's?" Kouga asked, looking intently at the speck on Kaede's shoulder.

"I'll get to that." Myoga replied. "To be honest, I will never know the full potency of that aura, I merely reached the outskirts of it. If there were any bones left of Kiraju, I never got close enough to see them."

Kouga expressed himself with a chuckle. "You ran away from a couple of demons?"

Due to the size, it was hard to see the details of Myoga's face, but Kouga felt that he probably being scowled at. The flea relaxed himself and folded his arms. "I thought that it was a storm." He stated firmly, confusing the others.

"What do you mean, Myoga?" Kagome urged him on.

All could see the flea grow still as he recollected the memory. "I came up over the mountains after a long journey. For days on end, I had been seeing demons of the air unfalteringly going in one direction. Some of them were of shapes I had never seen before." Without his words, Myoga almost seemed to be meditating on the thoughts. "From the mountain, I saw a great cloud looming over the valley below. This cloud, however, did not seem like an ordinary storm to me, it shifted in odd ways and lacked the smooth texture I am accustomed to. It did not take me long to realize that my eyes were fooling me." Against the white fabric, a shift in Myoga's stance could be seen. "At first, I wouldn't believe it, but I was bold enough to go even closer. Once I had reached the foot of the mountainside, there was no doubt in my mind…"

The others awaited Myoga's words, Kouga most of all. Much like what the flea had said of himself, the conclusion was hard to swallow.

"The cloud I saw _was_ the demonic gathering." Everyone fell silent, especially Myoga. The very thought of what he was describing raised many questions in Kouga's mind. Most importantly, he wasn't so sure about leaving anymore.

"Thousands, perhaps even millions of sky-bound demons all gathered in one place. It was demons of every variety, the ones that crawl, the ones that fly, large and small." Myoga continued steadily. "When that many meet in a single location, you have a gathering of enemies sworn by nature itself." The flea bowed his head. "Dogs and cats, as you might say, Prince Kouga."

Sango drifted her fingers around each other. "I've never heard of anything like that…" she mused to herself.

"Yes." Myoga nodded. "It was a sight I will never forget. I could hear them howling even from where I was standing. If I had gone any further, I imagine the very soil would have been drenched in their blood." Kouga barely noticed the next words directed to him, his mind was elsewhere. "And to answer your question, Prince Kouga, Kiraju's aura was barely even a fraction of Naraku's at the time you all defeated him."

Miroku calmly approached the shoulder Myoga had placed himself on. "Myoga, you mentioned that there were more demons before this occurred…" The monk entered into a question.

The flea's head bobbed. "That is correct, Miroku. If anything allowed humans to claim their share of the land, I am quite sure it was Kiraju's death."

Miroku rubbed his chin. "Interesting." He commented.

Kagome stood close to Sango. "So you think that the same thing will happen with Naraku's aura?" she hesitantly asked.

"Not exactly the same, my dear. Kiraju's aura vanished after only a few months. I fear that Naraku's will take much longer." Myoga analytically returned. That statement immediately pulled a question out of Kouga.

"How long?" he interrupted.

Myoga folded his tiny hands. "I cannot say for certain, but it may be many years before we see any kind of change in that area."

Kouga grimaced at the words. "My packmates died so we could get rid of that bastard. You can't expect me to just leave their bones to turn to dust." He fumed. It drew a strange number of worried looks toward him.

"Prince Kouga…" Myoga turned straight back to him. "This will be a gathering of lesser demons like none the world has ever seen."

"Then I have to go back as soon as I can, before it gets too bad." Kouga retaliated.

Kagome looked directly at him with a visible level of concern in her eyes. "Kouga…" she softly said.

"I'm not scared." Kouga put out stiffly.

Myoga sighed deeply. "With all due respect, Prince Kouga, you should be." said the flea. "Knowing what I have observed, I wouldn't be surprised if this brings about the extinction of demons."

Sango's lips parted. "Extinction? Are you sure?"

Myoga thoughtfully closed his eyes. "It would not shock me. Creatures like that aren't meant to last in a world like this one."

Kouga stuttered. "But… I…" his eyes fell to the ground.

"If ye wish to stay alive, Kouga, then ye will remain here." Kaede said firmly. Kouga didn't look at her. "I am sorry." The old woman finished.

Kouga stood still and tried to think of a hole he could pass through. Sadly, the only thing he could produce was silence. It felt like defeat when he finally dragged his head through a small nod. He knew that it was a relief to the others but that didn't seem to help.

What was said that day would be remembered well.


	8. Natural Selection

There's been some confusion over the way that this story goes through flashbacks. I try to make it clear which passages are before Kagome's departure. What you should know is that almost every line break in this story indicates a switch between past and present events. And with that, on with the next one!

Kouga laid pressed into the reliable trunk of his tree trying to make his mind comfortable again. The more he remained in that spot, however, the more impossible it seemed to remove a certain thing from his irritated thoughts. It seemed as though everything he was unwilling to think about was following his every move. The scent he had picked up moments before was no form of help either. He was fully aware of what it was; he had smelled it before. He remembered that day he had happened upon Ginta and Hakkaku doing 'things' he wished he had remained oblivious of. He would be thinking about them if he wasn't so occupied with the other thing. What had been a simple attempt to find and greet Kagome had turned into another incident that belonged to nobody but him. The moment that Inuyasha's distinct aura greeted his nostrils, he knew that they were at least going to exchange hateful scowls before he continued on his way. Instead, he caught a glimpse, or rather a long stare, at something he wasn't expecting. He had been nearly out in the open just as the hanyou caught his eye in a similar way he always did. Only this time the thing that drew his attention hadn't been that fiery shade of Inuyasha's kimono, it was the obvious absence of it and everything else.

From where he had stood, he saw the hanyou was freshly emerging from the mirror of water behind him. Tiny shimmers dripped from the every end and traveled in shiny branches down the limbs. For several moments he had been sure that Inuyasha would notice him immediately even at the distance he stood. Kouga would have turned straight in the other direction if he had not become so distracted. The moonlight had touched Inuyasha's flesh in a way he found to be abnormal, even fascinating. The soft curves of each bare muscle on the hanyou's body had been outlined in a graceful, pale blue being generously radiated from the moon. Through the canopy, the shadows of branches had formed patterns of darkness across Inuyasha's back like the loving designs of an artist using the skin as a suitable canvas. The lines of the branches bending around the curve of his torso and the collected, sharp points of the leaves drifting across the shoulders, Kouga had been mesmerized. He had been more taken with this one sight than he had been with anything he could remember. Even the elegance of the moonlight seemed like it could envy the shimmer of Inuyasha's silvery locks, they almost seemed to glow against the soft rays of white cascading through the trees.

He hardly had time to blink and shake himself out of the trance before Inuyasha's two luminescent eyes peered up at him and reacted instantly. What had surprised Kouga was how long he had stared at Inuyasha before he had been noticed. Of course, running into Inuyasha naked had stirred up a storm of shouting and shaking fists which he promptly pried himself away from. It had been the first time he ever saw the hanyou completely bare and it made everything feel so… different. The time that he wanted to spend alone, against this tree, was quickly cut when he picked up the scent. He tried ignoring it, but he could already imagine the scene in his head. Ginta and Hakkaku must have thought he wasn't going to know. This new truth made him wonder if they often engaged in their 'activities' when his back was turned. Somehow, those specific words hit a chord effective enough to make him feel angry. Still, being angry would have been easier with almost any other two people in the world. Focusing his ears, he could listen to their breathing. It was just like last time. He had arrived just at the moment they finished. Somehow, the sound made him wish he had selected another place to rest. He thought of the last time he had come across Ginta and Hakkaku. When he thought hard about it, he discovered that it had been longer than he thought, much longer. He thought of how ashamed they both looked that day. For now, he chose to stay where he was. He was downwind of them and would only be detected when he chose to be.

He tried to return to the question he had been asking himself for the last month. He had answered it in more ways than he cared to remember.

"…Hakkaku?" He heard faintly across the distance between him and them.

"Yeah?" the other panted in reply.

Kouga could hardly hear what they were saying, it barely seemed important compared to what was happening to him. A certain creature with silver hair had been haunting him for too long now. He had tried to understand what it was that was causing it. For a long time, he thought he was just feeling guilty for the rivalry he had artificially created between them. Three solemn, doubtless words softly touched his ear from afar.

"I love you."

Kouga heard it more clearly than the other words. They sounded like nothing but what they were. They were honest and clear.

Kouga dared to peer around the trunk. He was completely shrouded by the shrubs and safe from being seen. Ginta and Hakkaku were closer than it seemed. The grass embraced their two bodies lying across the ground. They did not bear similarity to Inuyasha in this moonlight but it was strange how peaceful they looked. They were tired, nearly asleep. Kouga saw them draw closer.

"Love you too, Ginta…" Hakkaku whispered in one ear.

Kouga was as still as the night. After a few moments, he knew they were asleep. It was the kind of moment that Kouga had only imagined until now. Imagined as he had, the softness of their breathing was unlike anything he could ever conjure with his thoughts. The shadowed breeze did not disturb them, it only served to deepen their slumber. Even the rustle of the grass in the momentary brushes of wind seemed to go silent for the sake of their peaceful rest. Kouga did not need to look for long to understand it. They were happy. Undoubtedly, those two were happier than anyone could hope to be.

As quietly as he was able, the wolf rose from his place and strode away, leaving Ginta and Hakkaku together under the watchful stars, undisturbed.

_________

Each familiar rock and tree he passed only served to make Kouga more sure of the direction he was going. Yet, with each of those subtle landmarks that he recalled from their journey back from Naraku's castle, he wanted to be wrong. Inuyasha's trail was straight and direct. Every obstacle that obscured it was simply passed over. He hoped for any other possibility than what was most obvious. What had become of the location where Naraku finally met his just demise was uncertain to Kouga. He remembered everything that the others had said about that place and he still wasn't sure if he believed it. The question that plagued him as he dashed after the fresh footsteps of the hanyou was what was prompting Inuyasha to return to that location after all this time, especially know Myoga's warning. After what must have been longer than an hour, Kouga had traversed several miles of strangely quite scenery. Before he had dismissed the familiarity of the path as a coincidence but every mile made him worry even more.

He was grateful that he was the faster one even without the jewel shards that once granted him magnificent speed. Even so, he wished that he still had them. If he did, then he would have caught up with Inuyasha by now and he certainly wouldn't have been so tired of running. The one he darted after never seemed to rest for even a small moment. Inuyasha was stubborn in that way. Kouga, on the contrary, would have welcomed the opportunity to catch his breath. He had no understanding of where he was going, where Inuyasha was going, or even why. Everything had returned to the state of a long, desperate chase. It wasn't like those times when he had been so competitive with the half-demon. He never would have admitted it, but he had enjoyed the many contests of speed he and Inuyasha had shared before Kagome left. Now, just like he predicted, things had become different. He had known things would change, but he never imagined that it would be so hard to understand.

He thought that he had finally caught up when he noticed the trail end in a collection of varying directions. As soon as he stopped, his lungs had no sympathy for him. Tired as he was, the wolf detected something else along the wind. There was an obnoxious, disagreeable scent mixing in with Inuyasha's scent. It wasn't just the scent, either. Kouga could hear the creature's greedy sucking on the air. It was no more than a nuisance to him, as all of these kinds of demons were. He saw it emerge from the shrubs, its sickly scheme of colors defiling the green of the flora around him. It was a serpentine creature even smaller than him. He knew that he would be along before it would even notice him like he had noticed it. All he needed was to find which way Inuyasha had turned. He was almost ready to try a different bearing when his eyes suddenly registered two shades of red, both very familiar to him.

He barely captured a glimpse of the red-clad figure striking the demon in a blurry flash of crimson. The demon's death rattle could be heard long before Inuyasha stopped what he was doing. Kouga heard the struggle, but it actually took time for him to find out where the hanyou had landed. Kouga had seen more blood than most people would ever see in their lifetimes, but the growing spatters of red in the ground surprised him with their quantity. In their epicenter was none other than the one he had been following, wildly digging his claws into the long deceased demon's narrow body. It took only a few seconds for Inuyasha to render the corpse unrecognizable. The sight made Kouga feel woozy. He was relieved when Inuyasha finally decided to stop and catch his breath. The silver shade of his hair had been streaked with the erratic splatter of blood he had created in his fury.

Kouga didn't realize that he had been holding his breath as he stared at the hanyou. Inuyasha didn't dignify his obvious presence with as much as a glance. The way that he crouched beside his mutilated prey was uncharacteristically feral in Kouga's eyes. It was as if the wolf wasn't there when Inuyasha stood up without a word and drew in a long drag of air. With that display of bloodshed, he seemed ready to turn around and keep going.

Kouga watched him turn away from the body and reflexively called out to him. "Don't… go…" he panted.

Inuyasha didn't even stop. He wasn't back to running just yet, though. Kouga could tell that the hanyou was just as tired as he was. He tried to call him again. The response was still like he didn't exist.

Kouga growled through his teeth. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" he raised his voice, which finally got Inuyasha to stop.

He took one look back at him and quietly kept going. "Go home, wolf." He heard the dog sending back to him.

Kouga stalked after Inuyasha when he began walking again. "I'm not going anywhere." He said louder than he realized.

As they met side by side, Inuyasha still didn't look at him. "You can tell them that I was fine. Now go back." The half-demon instructed coldly.

"But you aren't." Kouga retorted. He worried that the chase was going to be back on at any moment.

Inuyasha snorted. "I'm fine. Stop following me." Kouga matched the other's increasing pace. He preferred not to start chasing Inuyasha again, but he was prepared to.

The wolf groaned. "Can you at least tell me where you're going?"

Inuyasha said nothing.

Kouga darted in front of him and looked straight into the other's eyes. It was then he noticed that Inuyasha still looked like he hadn't slept for days. The hanyou's dim eyes looked impenetrable. Kouga quickly stopped him from going around. "Are you going in the direction I think you are?" the wolf interrogated.

Inuyasha shot a powerful glare at him and shoved Kouga out of the way. He provided no answer.

Kouga bared his teeth. He was tired of this whole thing. He had _been _tired for days now. "Dammit, Inuyasha! Why the hell are you doing this?" he felt his fists tighten. He couldn't help it.

His silver and red figure did not deviate from its path. Inuyasha was still silent as the grave. He refused to say anything until several minutes had passed with Kouga stubbornly following after him. Finally he stopped and directed his cold gaze to the wolf. "I'm not going to say it again." He firmly put out his words. "Leave. Me. Alone"

"Just come back with me!" Kouga followed after the other angrily.

The wolf stopped when Inuyasha suddenly lurched into anger. He looked ready to do the same thing he did to the other creature moments before. "Stupid wolf! Why'd you followed me this far anyway?!" the hanyou stared daggers at him, demanding an answer.

Kouga couldn't look at him straight. Once again, he wanted to say those three words. In spite of everything, he could still imagine a fantasy world where saying those words would make everything better. In reality, he only had the courage to stare at the ground and say "Because… I care about you."

Inuyasha scoffed and muttered something to himself, then turned back around.

Kouga tried to maintain his stoicism. It was testing his limits. Nothing that he said was making an impact. Just like every time he ever tried to pull Inuyasha back, the hanyou just kept on walking in the opposite direction.

He could feel his voice break. "Inuyasha… please…" It embarrassed him how he sounded.

The dog's silence was unfaltering. Kouga watched Inuyasha and himself grow farther apart. Every action was only making things worse. He wanted to say something, anything that would get Inuyasha to just look at him.

"Inuyasha, you're dying!" He forced himself to yell.

The profound choice of words managed to draw the dog's attention one more time. He narrowed his eyes back to the wolf but still didn't say a word.

Kouga had no words left. He felt humiliated for allowing himself to say that. He knew that the only person it made any sense to was himself. Inuyasha wasn't willing to stand and wait for an answer he couldn't give. Just like everything else, it did not matter. His eyes didn't stay on the wolf for more than a few moments. With barely a sound, Inuyasha was off on his way again. Kouga stood still and watched him pick up his pace and disappear beyond the trees. The wolf did not go after him as quickly as before. He stood riveted in his place for what must have been a long time.

This place was so quiet. Kouga hadn't noticed it before, but he never heard a single bird or buzz of an insect as he listened for them. With Inuyasha gone, the ambience of the trees was absent as well. He had never seen a forest so lacking in its usual sounds. He didn't understand the cause of this phenomenon until the wind picked up and brought something with it. Kouga could barely even detect it and if it wasn't so new to him, then he may not have noticed. The mild smell on the air made him perceive only unpleasant images. He was familiar with the general scent of demons but this new scent was a culmination of every variation he had ever encountered. Some parts of the smell were even unrecognizable to him. However, its most obvious ingredient was the blood. There was surely a metallic texture tinting the air that passed through him. If he closed his eyes he could imagine the battle that this smell must have been journeying from on the back of the breeze. Kouga understood now why so many of the usual creatures had vacated this place. He felt an urge to turn around himself, but not when he knew Inuyasha had headed directly in the direction of this disturbing odor.

The wolf could hear himself saying the name out loud. He had little comprehension of what could carry this scent so far. In a sense, it made him feel a twinge of fear for what could be waiting in the miles ahead of him. But Kouga had made his choice, afraid or not. Hesitantly, he took the first steps after Inuyasha's path.

He followed a trail but it felt like walking straight into a cloud.

_________

_Naraku is gone. The bastard is finally gone. A good deal of my comrades died to make this real and I bet that they would do it again if they could. I should be celebrating like the last day of my life… I'm not. _

_There are a million things that I should be thinking about but even after my greatest enemy's defeat, I can still only think of the thing I've been thinking of for the last couple of days, months maybe. My eyes have kept drifting back to him whenever my mind slips even a little. Every time I stare, I get this weird feeling I can't describe. Some parts of this feeling are nice, and others… well, they aren't. I haven't ever written about this but it's been going on for months, maybe since the day I met him. I tried to tell myself that it isn't important. I tried telling myself a lot of things ever since this feeling started. First, I thought I was sick. Next, I convinced myself I wasn't sleeping enough. It didn't work; I started dreaming about him. After that I started to think I was losing my mind. I probably am in some ways. After going through plenty of other absurd explanations, I finally admitted that maybe I don't hate Inuyasha as much as I say I do. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I was feeling some kind of guilt for how I've always talked to him. I don't think I've ever said anything to him that wasn't insulting in some way, let alone kind. But do I feel bad about it? I guess that I do but that answer didn't really hit the right place either. _

_I'm not sure what to write. I keep setting this book down and pacing around. I can't help it. It will probably take all night just to fill one page. _

_Now that I think about it, I've never written about my father in here either. I don't plan to, anyway. I don't need to know much else other than how much I hated him. In the end, I guess everything he did toughened me up. Still, how can I be justified in hating the man who created me? I shouldn't hate him. I don't want to hate him, but that doesn't make anything different. I still hate him and I can't change that. It's just like how I can't change this…_

_I'm so sick of this. I wish I could just switch lives with someone else. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of trying to explain this with all of these stupid lies. The thing I've discovered about dreams is that you can't lie to yourself. I've had a lot of dreams and they've all said the same thing. Sometimes I woke up from them sweating, other times I woke up covered in… well, you know. One answer has gone ignored in my head for a long time now. I was willing to accept almost any other answer than that one. I was even willing to believe that I was ill or crazy. I've chosen to stop. I might not ever say it out loud, but at least I'm being honest with myself. If something is wrong with me, then I don't care. I'm still myself. I'm still Kouga. That name belongs to me and nobody else. I've said it to Kagome plenty of times and I know now that I never knew a thing about it until now. One day I just selected someone and decided that my affections belonged to them. I've been foolish. The choice isn't mine and it never has been._

_I can't deny it anymore. I don't really want to. _

_I love him. Everything about him. His hair, long and beautiful silver locks. His eyes, golden-amber shining with his fighting spirit. His body, slender and strong. I love everything, even his brash attitude, it shows he won't take anything from anyone! I admire that; it's more than I could say for myself. I love his expressions even though I don't ever see his true smile. His smile, his real smile, just a tiny moment where I know that he's happy, confirmed by the curve of his mouth. That's what I want to see most of all. Sometimes I wonder if it would make me love him even more. But I can't get too close to him; let him see my true feelings because he is my rival. My rival. How did all of this happen? I look at him and I feel my heart flutter, whether he scowls, stares, or shouts. I've seen him clean, filthy, even bloody, and still, he's so beautiful. I don't think I could look at anything else in the world and feel more stunned. I've heard their voices. I've heard every word that would stand to say that I should never feel this way for him. I've lived a life that tells me that my feelings are in error. I've tried to listen to those voices, I've tried to forget my feelings and remember that it's my pack that really matters, not my odd affections. Against the efforts of those around me and even my own, not one thing has truly changed in my heart. Nothing. I can lie to my packmates, I can lie to my mentors, my warriors, my elders, but I will never lie to myself… not anymore. I love him. With all my heart, I love him. _

_That's the answer… and I accept it._

_________

Fear was one emotion that Kouga had lived with. What he felt now, looking up into the abyss ahead was not fear. It was more than what Myoga had described. The wolf had imagined at worst a great, dark cloud over his head. What he saw was no cloud, it was not a storm, it seemed like hell had enveloped the entire world ahead of him. The sky was not blemished with darkness, it was consumed in a pestilent swarm of maddening howls and feral shrieks. Even the horizon had been chewed into a narrow line of crimson light dividing the earth from the air. Kouga found breathing more and more unacceptable. He tried to close his nostrils, but each breath would inevitably gag him with the stench of the blood. He almost felt like he was in a fog of it. His skin felt uncomfortably damp and unclean. Watching the maw of the dark sky twist and cringe with a million dark specks, he wanted to look away. If the remains of Inuyasha's path did not head directly toward this hellish bluster, he surely would have gone back.

He couldn't even see the uprising of the terrain where Naraku's castle used to stand. He knew where he was, he remembered the shape of the hills and mountains that were the background of this place, even as they looked now. As hard as it was, he recalled the final journey he made across these lands. He remembered the mountains brimming with green and a generous, healthy forest spreading out in the valley. It had been a strangely pleasant walk through this place before they reached their final destination many miles away. That image remaining in his thoughts was decimated by what he saw now. There was no more green. The most lively color was the crimson that was blocking out the sun. Charcoal from the scorched trees invaded his lungs. An endless graveyard of shriveled, black stumps covering the vast expanse served as the only reminder of what this place used to be. Underneath the drowning volume of demonic auras, he could still detect a hint of Naraku's remaining energy.

And knowing how far he was from the ruins of Naraku's lair, Kouga was only at the_ edge_ of the precipice. What he was feeling now was the difference between fear and terror.

Before this, he had seen numerous flocks of sky dwelling demons speed over his head. He had encountered more creatures than he could count and the blood was beginning to cover his fingers. Even now, at the borders of this forsaken place, he could hear them all around him. A multitude of animalistic cries was coming from every direction and overwhelming his ears. The wolf feared that going any further would seal his fate. Through the chaos of scorched wood littering the landscape, Kouga proceeded forward. There was no moment when he didn't hear something taking its final breath. His hand was constantly clenched at the hilt of his katana, sweating. Every noise louder than the others made him jump. Inuyasha's trail was almost indistinguishable from the overload of other violent aromas. Kouga grew even more frightened when the scent became completely drowned out. Before he could think of what to do next, he felt something trickle down his arm.

He didn't even have the chance to examine it when he noticed the spatter of red smeared across his palm. It was more blood than he remembered from before. But he did not have time to be worrying about these things; he had to find Inuyasha as fast as possible.

Gathering his courage, Kouga began to dash through the devastated forest of black. It would not take long for his presence to be noticed, he knew. The idea of such an immeasurable number of demons knowing he was there made his heart hammer. The further he went, though, the more doubtful he was that he was going the right direction. The wolf skidded to a stop, a billow of black dust coming up at his feet.

"Inuyasha!" he called desperately. The roar of the slaughter above and around him would probably have blotted out any response. Kouga raised his hands. "INUYA—"

He jumped as he felt something splatter across his shoulders. It was something warm that carried an awful stench. Kouga could feel it in his hair, trailing down the depressions of his back. It even ran down the arm he used to see what it was. Looking at his fingertips, he realized what it was. A smaller amount fell across his other shoulder. He was being drenched in demonic blood as he went deeper into the setting. Looking around, he could see the dominantly red fluid falling as plentiful as raindrops. It quivered in the cracks of the scorched bark, the soil was stained with its sickly mixture of shades. The longer he stood still, he could feel it coming down on him from the massacre taking place in the sky above him. Millions of demons were killing each other above him and he was being washed in their bloodshed.

With the prelude of a particularly loud roar in the air, yet another shower of crimson came raining down on him, leaving droplets across his face. It began to drip from his fingers.

Kouga felt his heart racing, the concept of what was happening had stunned him. With a wild flailing of his body, he tried to shake the offending fluids off, but it was no use. Blood of every color had fallen across his skin. As it streamed down his body, the different shades began to mix into brown.

The terror only elevated. "INUYASHA!" he screamed out one more time.

Each direction seemed more unlikely than the other and the longer he stood in one place, the more bloodthirsty creatures he would most certainly draw. He could already see them approaching his location from the distance. One of the many monstrous noises became too close to ignore. Kouga had no choice but to draw his weapon and prepare himself. He could hear the first coming.

The first to lunge for his neck was almost equal to his size. It was minced before it could even touch the wolf. The others that followed were no better but as the fighting went on, Kouga knew that he was only drawing more attention to himself. He made every effort to control his fear, but the task was as much of a challenge as finding Inuyasha. Things escalated to the point where the wolf felt like he was killing something with every passing second. Their numbers were increasing, demons that flew, demons that bit at him, some with claws, some with fangs, and some he had never seen before. The puddle of red that covered the ground around him began to dominate. Kouga found himself breathing hard by the time he earned himself a break. He knew that it would not last long. He had to keep moving.

Then, he felt the eyes boring into him. He regretted ever starting a fight when his senses alerted him to a cloud of demonic auras growing near his vicinity. He hardly wanted to look back, but he knew it was there, waiting to strike. Even though he was prepared for an assault of that size, he wasn't prepared for what would come after it. One wave of them would only be replaced with an even larger one.

His eyes opened to a glimmer in the chaos of foreboding smells. He almost thought that he was imagining it at first, but he could see it. Against the horrid background of the landscape, stood a figure with silver hair, quiet and still.

Kouga called out. "Inuyasha?"

The distant figure stepped out from the wind of ashes, a flicker of that familiar yellow in his eyes. Kouga would have been relieved if he wasn't so concerned with the other development. The hanyou marched straight in his direction. Kouga noticed that the same rain of demonic blood had streaked across every inch of Inuyasha's flesh. The silver hair, however, seemed resistant to the staining. Unlike the times before, the wolf did in fact receive a glance from the other. He saw no worry, only a terrible emptiness.

Inuyasha looked at him as if he was glancing at a boulder he only happened to pass.

The hanyou strode past him and stood watching the horizon fill with a swarm of black. The new wave of demons had become larger than Kouga imagined. The silver-haired figure took in a deep breath and prepared his claws. In a sudden, reckless motion Kouga watched Inuyasha launch himself straight toward the collection of gathering demons.

"Inuyasha!" Kouga cried out, trying to get him to return. He went charging straight after the hanyou.

The space between him and the thick swarm of ferocious creatures closed within moments. What happened next was almost surreal. Kouga collided with the great column of monstrous creatures and felt the blood fly before he even made the first strike. He wildly swung every weapon he had at every creature that moved. He hardly knew where Inuyasha was. Demons fell like flies, but the onslaught kept on going with no end in sight. The wolf lost all track of time and place. He felt his body go numb and then sear with pain. He felt claws scrape his skin and teeth rake across his flesh. Each demon that perished, whether against his strength, or the sharpness of his weapon, left him even more furious than before. This kind of fury had only happened once before. That time, he had seen more of his comrades dead than ever before and all of the blame went straight to Inuyasha. That day he nearly killed the hanyou in his rage, even when Inuyasha tried to explain the trickery that had taken place. This rage, however, did not come from anger, Kouga felt his drive to survive at any cost. Dying in this fight was not an option. The deepest part of his demonic nature refused to allow it. It felt nightmarish, a gory experience that suddenly began without his power to stop it. His katana was lost in the chaos of his struggle, but his claws became even more lethal. They tore through flesh like paper, continuing to ravage without an inkling of mercy. Mercy could not be afforded.

Everything dissolved into a blur of mad shrieks and furious shades. The wolf was caught in the storm, struggling to break free. The feeling forced itself into every pathway of his brain and for a moment he felt like he had split in two. He only realized that this defensive function had awakened in him by the time he found himself in a different scene. The first few seconds, it was a challenge to stop the violent twitching of his body. Then, Kouga's eyes beheld the soil, all of the original color blotted out by the shower of red that trickled across his body. An enormous rush charged through his nerves and then it felt like coming up from deep water. He was able to breathe again and eventually see the litter of defeated demons surrounding his place in the center. The fact that he had taken part in this onslaught was hard to accept but Kouga knew what he saw. Even though it was a triumph, the sight made him feel sick. He had never seen so much death in his life and in one place. The only thing that remained standing was him and the stumbling figure across the battlefield.

The amount of blood that covered Inuyasha made it hard to determine how badly injured he was. In the midst of so many varying scents, Kouga could never have focused on a single one. But by the way Inuyasha struggled to stand, the wolf could tell that another wave of fighting would be the end of him, if not them both. The weary hanyou took one more fragile step and ended up on his knees. Kouga rushed once more to his side. They had survived one struggle but the wolf could already feel the next one approaching them. What panicked him most was a large and particular aura drawing closer with every moment. Inuyasha was holding up on his wrists, a faint rasping sound had replaced his breath. Kouga didn't understand what was going on but he detected a foreboding shift in the half-demon's exertions. The noises became unfamiliar… inhuman. Somehow, it made the wolf afraid to even lay a hand on him.

Kouga cautiously knelt at his side. "…Inuyasha?"

The mention of his name made the hanyou's figure twitch. Kouga stepped back when a threatening growl was directed at him. The wolf froze in his tracks when one of the eyes stared directly at him. Past the stained locks of silver, a hellish red had veiled the original hue of Inuyasha's eyes. Savage, purple marks sliced in from the edge of the hanyou's face. The stare was simmering with rage awaiting its opportunity to lash out. Yet, Inuyasha stayed on the ground, a single eye locked on the wolf. He quivered like a leaf ready to snap away from the branch. The background sounds of demonic battle in their surroundings echoed through the air, growing closer with every moment that silently passed between them. Kouga had to try again.

Inuyasha snarled a second time when Kouga reached out to him. He spoke with gentleness. "Inuyasha…" the wolf called out to what might still remain. Kouga took one gradual step closer, Inuyasha only glared at him, not moving. With another step, there was still no change.

Kouga swallowed. "…Inuyasha…" he said again. The hanyou dug his claws into the ground, prepared to tear Kouga's throat open.

Kouga raised his foot again and drew closer. Like setting off a spring, the wolf was instantly tackled off his feet when he let his foot touch the ground. Inuyasha's primal roar was quickly followed by a burning pain that left claw marks in Kouga's chest plate. The impact left him on the ground, looking up at the abyss of the sky. He traced his finger across the tear in the metal armor. Inuyasha had cut directly through it.

Kouga barely got to his knees before Inuyasha lunged at him again. This time, he was sent barreling several feet away. The force of Inuyasha's strike had him gasping for the air that had been forced out. A sharp pain shot through his ribcage with every scrape he made for air. The wolf finally propped himself up and looked to the enraged half-demon once again. Inuyasha glared directly back at him with those blood-red eyes. The hanyou's claws were readied for another charge.

Kouga tried to get back to his feet; he felt the demonic aura steadily approaching them. Inuyasha didn't allow him to even get back on one foot. The moment that the wolf moved, another aggressive roar came and Kouga suffered another powerful strike in the torso. He was on the ground again, trying to fill his lungs. His body refused to move.

Inuyasha curled his claws. "Get… up…." He rasped in a distorted, frightful voice.

Kouga looked across the space between them, right into Inuyasha's crimson eyes. He clutched his chest to form the words and tried his best to plead. "Inu… yasha…" he called again.

The hanyou ferociously bared his fangs. "Get up and fight me!" he roared at the wolf.

Kouga's head sunk. He wanted desperately for this moment to be the worst dream in his life but the pain was too real for it to be a trick of his mind. He doubted that even his own mind could torture him so profoundly. He drew in another breath of the filthy air and whispered his reply.

"…No."

Inuyasha snarled and charged at him again. Kouga cried out as a foot smashed into his side and threw him even farther. The hanyou seemed unaware of the ominous presence that continued to grow closer to them both.

"FIGHT ME!" demanded the half-demon.

Looking up at the furious figure, Kouga repeated himself with a stronger voice. "No."

A shadowy form could be seen growing between the black remnants of the forest behind Inuyasha. The hanyou grimaced at him with no further words. Kouga lowered his head in a similar silence.

"I won't…" he softly declared to the one before him.

The two demonic eyes only glared. With a final grit of his teeth, Inuyasha turned away from him and faced the scattering of bloodthirsty creatures that approached from the distance. Just as before, it was a gathering of demons in every crawling, flying, reptilian, serpentine, or monstrous shape. Yet, the smaller ones that scurried toward Inuyasha out of the devastated woods were dwarfed by the largest of them. As it drew closer, Kouga could discern the shape of two enormous pairs of pinchers that matched the size of the hanyou. On several pairs of thick, spidery legs, the demon seemed capable of cutting a person in half with one swipe of its claw or driving a hole straight through flesh with the sharp stinger that dangled over its body. The wolf spotted a trickle of venom at the tip of the creature's high-extending appendage. He had only heard stories of these scopionesque behemoths but had never been unfortunate enough to encounter one. The other demons that crawled and soared by its side were minor nuisances by comparison.

In spite of Kouga's fear of this, Inuyasha dove straight toward the lesser creatures that were scattered in front of the consternating shadow lurking steadily in their direction. The wolf watched each of the small demons lunge at Inuyasha and suffer a vicious demise. In little time, the only one that remained was the scorpion proceeding up behind the hanyou. Even as the last of the lesser demons fell, Inuyasha lowered his claws and abruptly stopped moving. Kouga couldn't fathom the reason why he stood so still as the giant aggressor became dangerously close. The half-demon only listened to the shift of the legs and the belligerent hiss being made by the creature. Kouga pulled himself to his feet. The fiery color of the blemished sky outlined them both. Between Inuyasha's shadowy figure and the monster that approached from behind the wolf could see the glimmer of his katana jutting out of one of the numerous bodies. He was more frightened with every moment that passed with the hanyou doing nothing. He had no understanding of what he was doing and the huge scorpion was already readying its deadly appendages.

Slowly, Inuyasha's head drifted to look at his imminent opponent. Then, to Kouga's horror, the half demon stepped up in front of the creature and opened his arms, welcoming whatever death that was decided.

The stinger swung back for the strike…

Inuyasha awaited…

Kouga dashed forward.

As quick as a flash, Kouga dove for Inuyasha just as the stinger was inches from the hanyou's heart. The wolf howled in agony when he felt the dark tip penetrate below his shoulder, almost driving out the other side of his torso.

He staggered and nearly fell to the ground. The realization made his blood surge with heat. The adrenaline collided with his senses and he barely had the time to make his swift and final motion. His foot narrowly escaped the scorpion's massive claw when it went straight at him with every intention of cutting him in two. Swiftly unstable, Kouga barreled across the ground and swiped his katana from the nearby corpse. With one powerful leap, the wolf prince landed at the scorpion's head and hammered the blade straight down into it.

From the ground several feet away, Inuyasha watched blankly as the demon shrieked in pain and quickly deteriorated from its wild flailing to tiny twitches and finally a perfect stillness. Kouga still cringed around the hilt of his sword after the scorpion fell motionless. After a few failed attempts at gathering his breath, the wolf feebly yanked his blade from the creature's head and stumbled his way back to the ground. After only a few steps away from the body, the katana fell from Kouga's trembling hand with a clunk. Soon after, Kouga was on the ground as well. The wolf clutched the hole in his shoulder the size of his palm and began to hyperventilate. The mad cacophony of roars and shrieks above them began to blur into a ringing in his ears and then everything went mute.

Inuyasha's eyes were locked on Kouga the entire time. As slowly as the wolf passed out, the hanyou's eyes lost their red hue and returned to their amber glow once more.

Slowly but surely, Kouga became as motionless as the dead beasts that were scattered all around them.

There! A nice long one. Yes, I know this is _really _dark. I can't say much since most of what I can say will spoil the story. All I can say is that the whole story is not going to be like this, things will change, just keep reading. (And reviewing would nice too ^_^)

Goodnight, folks!


	9. Restarting a Heart

Kagome slung her backpack hastily over the shoulder and skipped after Inuyasha, who hadn't bothered to wait. Shippo followed close behind while she paced up to the half-demon's side. Miroku and Sango, on the other hand, were waiting down the slope of the hill where the grass grew tall.

Inuyasha deliberately kept his frown facing ahead while the girl caught up alongside. "You'll thank me for it later, trust me." She confidently submitted to the annoyed hanyou.

Inuyasha folded his arms with a huff. "I've got no intent on letting people around me get killed."

"People learn it in my time." Kagome added as she kneeled for Shippo to hop up onto her shoulders.

The silver-haired boy scoffed down at them. "People like who?" he challenged.

The little fox secured his grip around the straps of her pack and Kagome stood up with him. "Just about everyone, actually." She casually replied.

The two continued strolling down the hill, Inuyasha still pouting. "I don't know how things work in your time, Kagome, but here, when a person's heart stops, it means they're dead."

"Not necessarily." She said, looking at him calmly. "And who knows? Maybe you'll use it one day to save someone important to you."

Inuyasha scoffed again and proceeded to tighten his arms. "Yeah? Like who?"

A laugh nearly left Kagome, but was quickly overcome by the irritation. "Oh, thanks, Inuyasha!" she huffed, sending the hanyou an offended look.

Shippo pulled himself up over her shoulder. "People like me?" he asked the half-demon innocently.

"Your mouth isn't going anywhere near mine, ya runt!" Inuyasha snarled at the fox, who was sinking back behind Kagome's shoulder.

She went pacing after him down the hill. "Come on, Inuyasha. I know you probably won't need to use it, but what if you do?"

"The day I kiss that little pipsqueak is the day I jump off a cliff." He said as Kagome followed behind.

The girl rubbed her forehead and sighed. "Oh, Inuyasha. For the last time, it's not a… kiss."

Miroku grinned hugely and put his arm around Sango as the met at the hill's feet. "Oh, I beg to differ." He sung suggestively, recalling him and Sango's "demonstration". The demon-slayer sunk her head in the usual way she reacted to the monk's mouth.

Inuyasha shot a glare at him as he walked by. "I hope you broke one of his ribs, Sango." He tossed back to them, muttering something where the word "pervert" could be distinguished.

Kagome stepped her way in Inuyasha's path, earning another irritated look. "Alright, Inuyasha, just go over it with me one more time?" she asked sweetly.

The hanyou raised one, dark eyebrow. "…_One_ more time?" he tested.

She gave a quick nod. "Yeah, right now, just one more time."

Inuyasha groaned shortly. "Fine." He began. "You lay the person down straight, push the chest thirty times, give em' two breaths, and repeat. The end." He sped through in a few seconds.

"…And?" she beckoned after the hanyou finished.

" 'And', what? That's it." He confidently declared.

"Oh, come on, Inuyasha." Kagome pestered him.

Inuyasha chuckled. "Pray for their safe return from hell?" He snidely commented.

The dark-haired girl sighed and adjusted her strap. "You forgot this one a-hundred times! Tilt the—"

The half-demon groaned. "And tilt the head back." He quickly finished. "There. Can we go eat now?"

The girl let another deep sigh go and rubbed her head. "Fine." She said, defeated.

_________

There was only one memory that Kouga had of his mother. It was a faded image blotted with ink and filled with the sound of his cough. He had been frequently ill as an infant and required almost constant care. What mattered in this memory was her eyes, two eyes that seemed to wash away the shadows of the cave. They were eyes that glimmered at him with utmost care. The rest of her face was strangely shrouded by the darkness of time but she was, indeed, beautiful. He never fully understood why this memory had stayed with him while all of the others from his infancy had vanished with his age. Sometimes he doubted if the memory was even real. Yet, it visited him in the strangest of times. Most of those times had been his dreams, others had been seen in reality. Once he saw it when Kagome had been sitting by a fire, once when he saw his reflection in a pool of still water, and many times when looking at Inuyasha. In the echo of his head, Kouga heard the hanyou's voice. For some reason, the voice kept asking him "Why?". Kouga tried to answer but the words were too weak to leave him. He didn't understand what Inuyasha was asking him so angrily until he felt the pain come back.

First, it felt like being laid on the ground, then the burning pierced through one vein to the next. This horrible sensation flowed from his shoulder and pooled in his stomach. He couldn't breathe for several moments. He felt ready to turn over and empty his stomach but he would only tremble with every attempt to move. He could hear Inuyasha's voice again. He didn't know if it was real or just a memory. One phrase just sounded like something from one of their countless fights, a grumpy insult directed at him in frustration. The pain was too intense for him to hear everything. Then, Kouga was startled by the feeling of a chill showering over his body. The running cold met his wound and mercilessly stung him. The air he was taking in was suddenly liberated from the gagging stench of demonic blood. The odor rinsed away from him and breathing became more tolerable. Soon after, the chill began attacking his shoulder a second time. He could have hissed at the feeling, but he remained quiet and listened for Inuyasha's voice again. His jaw was pulled open and bestowed with a much-needed trickle of water. Kouga was ready to swallow it, but his throat almost instantly rejected the liquid.

All of his senses lit up again and the wolf lurched up from his place on the floor. A hand quickly forced him back down, but not soon enough to stop the pain from tearing across his chest. Kouga's gagged coughing forced all of the water back out in a sputter. He felt like he had narrowly escaped a drowning.

"Keep still, wolf." Came Inuyasha's voice as Kouga convulsed from the awakening. With his conscious state, the sickening throb in his stomach became worse and he felt a nervous heat eroding his veins. Getting a single, complete breath was difficult but Kouga finally managed to rasp out his immediate thoughts.

"Where—" his sentence was caught in his throat, Inuyasha continued to hold him down. Kouga regained his air again. "Where… am I?"

His vision finally became sharp enough to see Inuyasha's face. The smell of the blood was still clinging to them both even though something had washed it from their faces. Then, from the direction of the pale light, Kouga noticed the sound of rain echoing into their dark space. He peered down at his fingers and saw that almost all of the red stain had been rinsed away. Still, he could see the splotches of dark color on both Inuyasha's clothes and his own. The rain hadn't been capable of cleansing those.

Kouga's head was nudged back down. "I found a cave. Now stop moving." The hanyou said while reaching for something at his side.

The wolf was sorely tempted to look at the wound below his shoulder. His every heartbeat was quickly followed by a small pulse of agony that almost left him wincing every time it came. Yet, after taking a single glance at it, Kouga wished he hadn't. There was a gruesome, dark hole in his flesh which was still surrounded by a polluted red. He wasn't sure, but he thought he had seen a bubble at the edge of the puncture. The idea made him feel even more nauseous.

"How long—" he cringed into another harsh cough.

Inuyasha turned back to him and pushed down once more, his other hand held a wad of wet cloth. He waited for Kouga to stop shaking. "Nearly a day." He answered the incomplete question.

The wolf gasped for a proper supply of oxygen. He opened his eyes to the wound one more time, and just like last time, regretted doing so. He lowered his head back down again, surprised at how weak he felt. "It's not healing…" he managed before a particularly powerful ache circulated through him. Kouga clenched his teeth and shook again.

Inuyasha's hand held the wolf's quaking chest in place, waiting for the occurrence to cease. His eyes stayed locked on the deep gouge in the flesh. "You're still fighting the venom." The hanyou elaborated. He carefully raised the wet cloth over Kouga's wound. Before the wolf could collect his next words, Inuyasha was soaking the damaged area in cold water. The surprising sting he felt as this happened would have arched his back if he wasn't being held down. He tried his best not to yelp when a second and third trickle of water was rung out over the injury. He understood that the half-demon was keeping it clean, but he didn't know if it was actually helping. A horrible mixture of sensations were riding on every movement of Kouga's blood. There was a fluctuating heat that had been growing since he had woken up, making him sweat. When it didn't make him feel feverish, temporary chills would run across him and make him shiver. Then, of course, there was the pain that accompanied the sickening churn of his stomach. He was beginning to wish he were still unconscious. Inuyasha kept his eyes elsewhere until he was finished clearing the area around the puncture. Kouga noticed the left sleeve of the hanyou's kimono was missing when he picked up a smaller rag damp with rainwater. The fabric had been torn into two separate wads for the first purpose of keeping the injury clean and the second one that was revealed when Inuyasha held the soaked bundle over Kouga's mouth and told him to open.

He quickly understood and let the hanyou ring out a generous number of drops into his throat. The water didn't relieve his elevated temperature but Kouga was definitely in need of it. This time, he managed to accomplish one, sturdy swallow and get all of it down. Yet, as soon as he got it down, Kouga ended up in another violent cough. Each gasp for air was promptly thrown back out by his lungs and the sudden, harsh movements were only making his pain worse. Like before, Inuyasha held him down while his body shook.

Two tired eyes looked down on the wolf while he tried to stabilize himself. The hanyou's hand drifted off once Kouga became relatively still again. Inuyasha picked up the larger cloth and twisted out the water stained with the color of the wolf's blood.

"You're lucky that it's raining…" he gruffly added while Kouga laid wheezing on the floor.

Each time that the wolf's inhalations grew calm, they were quickly interrupted by more symptoms of the venom. But strangely, his stomach started to feel more content in the midst of all the other unpleasant feelings. It was enough to convince Kouga that he was capable of talking to the one at his side. He hadn't forgotten what he saw before blacking out. He would never have been able to stop thinking about it until the hanyou decided to stop avoiding eye contact and say something. Most of his ideas seemed like bad ones but the fact that Inuyasha had chosen to save him was a comforting one. Though he still felt the fever burning on his forehead, he felt strong enough for a short exchange.

He let in a steady breath. "…Inuyasha?"

The amber-yellow eyes flicked in his direction; he was soaking the cloth again. "You need to stop talking. You lost a lot of blood on the way here." The half-demon swiftly advised and went back to soaking water up from the small collections of rainwater in the depressions of the cave's floor. "Save your energy." He ended firmly.

A tiny breeze from the outside triggered a shiver in Kouga's sensitive skin that circled his arms and legs several times before dissipating. The other's words had elicited some second thoughts. The wolf realized that he had never been wounded in such a way. He had experienced poison before, but nothing like this. While he was afraid, he still wanted to talk to Inuyasha after such a long time of going after him without anything beyond simply being pushed away. Yet, there was truth in what he had heard. He had hardly an idea of where he was headed from this point onward or how much of a challenge the recovery would be. It was true; the logical thing to do was to wait and focus on pulling himself through the healing process. If he survived, he would probably have all the time in the world to talk to Inuyasha.

…Probably.

The word was tugging in the other direction. In addition to his uncertainty toward the nature of his own injury, Kouga was trying to read Inuyasha's face. Like many times before, he found that task to be impossible. If there were any emotions other than the hanyou's focus on bringing him back to health, they were well hidden. Even while Kouga's weary eyes stayed on Inuyasha, no such gaze was returned to him. In spite of the way that the half-demon was now tending to him, the reticence between them hadn't changed. If there was any remedy for that, Kouga knew he couldn't accomplish it while he was in such a weakened state.

Inuyasha pressed the wet cloth down on the injury again, letting the water run over the sensitive area. The same sharp pain soon followed and the wolf's face contorted. He made every effort to keep himself still and not disturb the tolerable condition of his stomach. Every time he tensed, he knew that it was only serving to put more stress on him. The slight strokes that Inuyasha made with the cloth were unexpectedly gentle; they may have even felt nice if they weren't circling a patch of flesh that complained every time it was touched. For a while, Kouga thought he had managed to relax himself. His stomach remained in a calm mood and his breathing, although raspy, was free of any more hacking. The tip of the cold cloth made another circular motion around the damaged skin and then, suddenly, Kouga winced. An unfamiliar, precise kind of agony abruptly pierced down through the wound and subsequently shot out through his torso. The wolf tried to calm himself down again but his muscles refused to obey. His whole chest tightened painfully and the sickening lurch in his stomach came back instantly. Inuyasha was already trying to hold him down again but Kouga had no choice but to turn on his side and prepare for what he knew was coming.

His stomach tightened for a moment, gave him two seconds of peace, and then harshly forced something out. His throat burned while the fluid was ejected and he felt a few drops hit his fingertips as it happened. The experience was different from vomiting, he realized that before even opening his eyes and seeing what he had coughed up. The sight of the drops of blood on his fingers made him ill all over again. He spent a long time staring wide-eyed at the crimson spatter he left on the rock before Inuyasha pulled him back down again. The sudden movement left Kouga twitching in agony again. The puncture near his shoulder spared him no suffering for his mistake.

The half-demon needed both hands just to keep Kouga in place. "Dammit wolf! I told you to keep still." He snarled while the other struggled to do just that.

Just as soon as Kouga finally stopped thrashing, his body started to tremble. Another rush of chills was vibrating along his bones and refused to give him any peace. His eyes clenched shut. The blood he had hacked up didn't grant him any relief. He still felt like he was teetering on the brink of doing it again but each precious breath kept pulling him back from the edge. Inuyasha took his hands off and began to soak up more water. All the while, the shivering never stopped.

The hanyou held the dripping wad over Kouga's mouth. "Here." He said, offering the wolf a drink.

It was undeniable how thirsty Kouga was feeling, he just wished that he would be able to swallow it as successfully as last time. He hesitantly opened his mouth and let Inuyasha squeeze a steady supply of droplets from his hand. A few of the moments with the cool liquid in his dry throat were soothing, but they didn't last long. Kouga tried to swallow and ended up sputtering everything back out. He tried a second time and got results even worse than before. The convulsions of his body started a chain reaction of unpleasant feelings that left Inuyasha holding him down all over again.

"Come on, just swallow it!" The half-demon grunted as he held Kouga's head down.

Eventually, the wolf gave up trying. It felt like he was going to cough out his heart if he didn't stop. The lack of proper oxygen was making him feel dizzy. He never thought that the simple act of drinking could be so difficult. He imagined how pathetic it must have been making him look, but he didn't have the energy to focus on self-consciousness. All of that energy had to stay dedicated to keeping himself alive for the moment. Inuyasha decided to give him a break from the water and started to clean the few areas of his skin that still had traces of the demonic blood. The cold drops would occasionally trigger another feverish chill, but Kouga was glad to have the awful scent being washed away. Even in the storm of discomfort that dazed his head, Inuyasha's gentle movements were a small form of relief for him. It wasn't enough to soothe him back to sleep, but it did serve to keep him more calm.

After a while, the wolf opened an eye when he felt a finger lay across the edge of his neck. Inuyasha held it there for a moment and sampled the movements. Kouga understood what the half-demon was testing; he could feel it rapidly pulsing in his veins. By the way his head so frequently throbbed, the wolf knew that his heart was being strained. The expression Inuyasha adapted was subtle, but disturbing. The hanyou swiftly went back to cleaning him like nothing was wrong. Kouga knew better.

He kept his eye on the other while he quietly rung more clouded water out of the cloth. Inuyasha didn't look back; he stayed focused on his work. Kouga raised his head up a little. "It's bad… isn't it?" he inquired weakly.

Inuyasha kept his eyes off of him. After a long time of saying nothing it looked like he wasn't going to reply. But eventually, he uttered a short reassurance. "…You're going to be fine." He began soaking up more water in the small fragment of his sleeve.

Kouga lowered his head back down, unconvinced. The heat was getting worse.

_________

_Something happened not too long ago. When I saw it, I didn't understand what could have made him look that way. He suddenly went running in the direction of something nobody else detected. In the middle of a place with so much of Naraku's influence, all I wanted to do was leave. Something led Inuyasha to the edge of a crevice. I saw him stare into it like a statue and then he just fell to his knees. A broken bow was in his hand. I didn't understand why so much grief was coming from him. I had never seen Inuyasha that crushed before, he hardly even tried to hide it. We came to his side and Kagome knew something was wrong. I still didn't understand what had happened, not even when Inuyasha mentioned the name "Kikyo". It was a name I had only heard a few times before, it was as meaningless to me as it was devastating for him. He told us that Naraku had killed her._

_I know who she was now. I asked on the next day. Kagome told me their story while everyone else slept. The more I heard, the worse I felt for not understanding. He must have loved her so much. I never thought so deeply about Inuyasha before. I realized that I don't even know where he grew up or if he even had a mother or father. Wherever it was that he was brought up, demon or human, not many would have bothered to accept him. This woman, this "Kikyo", what could that have meant for him? So many say that a half-demon has no place in the world and she was the first to say different. What could that have meant to him? The way I saw him at the edge of that precipice… it must have been everything. I never thought I would see him so destroyed, someone as strong and durable as him. He's always so hard and silent. Now that I have seen it, I never want to again. Not ever._

_It makes me feel ashamed for ever being unhappy with my own life. There are so many things that I have and even more things that I want, but Inuyasha always seems to be losing. He stands strong against everything, but loses more of something with every battle. Just like me, he wants, but life always takes away. One question led to another and I found that in the past he lost a mother and father. His own brother despises his existence. The first woman he loved was manipulated into betraying him. Now, he's lost her too. Is he going to lose more in the future? He'll outlive his human friends by generations… including Kagome. The ones who will remain will be the demons who spat on him his whole life. Since the day we first crossed paths, I've been one of those demons too. _

_I tried to cheer him up a few days later. He barely even looked at me. Why would he? Why would he expect any demon to start caring about him now? Least of all, me. Every time we met was always a fight. I never once made any gesture that said I cared about him. Everything I did just said the opposite. What the hell is wrong with me?_

_Has he ever had any reason to think the suffering is going to end? No… destiny decided to pick on him instead. I hate the way this world is and I hate the role I played in it. _

_…I can't write anymore. I need to rest._

_________

The rain finally stopped just as the day began to whither away. In each of those hours that passed, Kouga's condition grew worse. Anything that went down his throat didn't make it far and in spite of the few successful swallows he managed, the wolf was becoming dehydrated. The festering material that had been appearing at Kouga's still open wound began to form more abundantly. Inuyasha had suffered similar injuries himself, but he was no expert at treating them with his own hand. Cleaning the puncture without harming the wolf required utmost caution and even with such care, the efforts usually ended badly. Another hour and the point came where all water that Kouga swallowed would only be coughed back out mixed with blood. Still, Inuyasha tried while the daze of Kouga's head left him on the borders of delirium. A series of soft mutterings would reach the hanyou's ear every few minutes, most of them being a variety of ways to mispronounce his name. Each time he touched the wolf's skin it didn't seem possible for him to get any hotter; he was always proven wrong. He began washing Kouga with the rainwater that had collected at the end of the cave's slope to keep the temperature at bay. Even so, more complications arose as time dragged on.

Several times, Kouga simply fell silent with no sound other than his quaking breath. Initially, waking him back up was a simple matter of giving him a small shake. In the following hour, though, Inuyasha had to firmly jolt him several times before the wolf opened his eyes again. The half-demon began to dread whatever else the venom had in store for the following moments.

He held the damp rag over Kouga's mouth, knowing that they would probably end up adding to the countless failures from before. Weakly, the wolf opened. Inuyasha let one drop fall at a time, making things easier. He had learned to expect something to go wrong whenever Kouga tried to swallow something and always kept his free hand prepared against the wolf's chest. Sure enough, only a few precious drops made their way down before Kouga began to sputter again. Holding him down had become easier with the waning of the wolf's strength. Inuyasha kept Kouga's head back as he continued trying to perform the simple action.

"Come on, you have to get something down…" the hanyou groaned while Kouga squirmed beneath him.

A small, futile amount of water relieved the dryness of the wolf's throat. He could taste his own blood along the inside of his cheeks. He felt utterly exhausted, too exhausted to _be_ exhausted. The fever was still burning on his face with all that Inuyasha tried to do to help him. The hanyou reached for the other rag and soaked it. Gently, he laid it over Kouga's forehead, a small sigh escaped. Cool rainwater provided him with gracious drops of relief that ran down the side of his face. Like he had done many times before, Inuyasha briefly laid his hand on the wolf's chest and tested the desperate beat of his heart. For Kouga, it was hard to tell one beat from the other. His pulse was easily outrunning the pace of his thoughts and it was hard to pay attention when so much else was in his mind.

He let in a few short breaths. "Inu… yasha?" he called weakly.

"Stop talking." the hanyou grunted while he inspected the festering injury.

Kouga winced as the wound sent another painful throb into his torso. Inuyasha had little to do but stare down at it. As time had gone on, he found that touching the injury did more damage than it was worth. He was looking for a reason to stare at anything other than the eyes that beckoned for his attention. The worse things got, the less Inuyasha glanced at him.

Kouga swallowed. "I'm going to die… aren't I?" his voice rasped.

The hanyou refused to look at him. "You're not gonna die." He forced out, scowling away from the wolf. "You just…" he stopped before the sentence finished. Every piece of advice he had given countless times before was meaningless by now.

Kouga's head drifted back to the cold floor. His blurry eyes were pleading for rest that he couldn't provide. Another shiver dominated his skeleton and ran its course. The wolf was truly at the mercy of the symptoms. "…so light-headed…" he murmured to himself.

At last, Inuyasha threw his gaze straight at him. "You're not going to die! You're gonna be fine." A fragile anger showed in his eyes. As much as Kouga's vision had blurred, their ambient hue was still so distinct to him.

The wolf narrowly kept down another cough. He gazed intently back into Inuyasha's quivering irises. "You know that's not true…" he spoke firm from his parched throat.

Kouga had never seen the silver-haired creature looking back at him so deeply. His helpless silence was enough for the wolf to precisely and perfectly know what was within that long-impenetrable wall between them. There was an entire multitude of emotions contained in Inuyasha's face that showed as broad as the colors of dusk. There was worry, there was frustration, fatigue, regret, but most of all, there was fear. Probably without even knowing it, the half-demon clearly displayed his uneasy acceptance of Kouga's words. The sight was more scarce than the tears of a statue. The wolf dragged in a long breath with best hopes that it wouldn't leave him choking. His tired eyes drifted closed and he spoke.

"I have to tell you something." The words gently came scraping from his mouth.

"No!" Inuyasha scowled as soon as he heard it. "No last words. You tell me later! You tell me when you get better!" He forcefully said with trembling fists.

Kouga knew if he opened his eyes, they would only burn. He wanted to look back at Inuyasha but his worn-down body didn't allow it. A cold silence crossed between them, save for the wolf's feeble coughs that occasionally found their way out. He had lost the energy to squirm or struggle anymore, the words alone required so much effort.

"…What if I don't?" the half-demon heard the wolf say.

"You will." Inuyasha objected and conjured a poor excuse for a smile. "I plan to have a lot more fights with you, scrawny wolf. It can wait for then, okay?"

"_No it can't!_" Kouga hammered out loudly, nearly pushing himself up. The other's hand reflexively held him back down, but even a small exertion left the wolf panting again. He muffled several deep coughs in his mouth and waited for his lungs to forgive him. "Whether I live or not… it doesn't matter—"

"Stop it." The half-demon cut him off.

Another breath sunk back into Kouga's throat. "…All you have to do is listen—"

"Stop it!" he repeated harshly, throwing his head down.

Kouga's eyes watered as he let them open again. The strands of silver hid the color of the hanyou's eyes. "Inuyasha…" his voice came in frailty. "…please…"

Nothing came. The half-demon sat as still and silent as the grave. Wordless though he was, Kouga knew that the one at his side was listening. Those two white ears at the top of his head would hear every word he had to speak. They were words that he had waited too long to say. With several challenged breaths of air, Kouga began.

"You're not the first dog-demon I've met…" the wolf let his pleading eyes slip closed again as he started his story. "…The first I met was by a river." He searched through his memory for a while, rather disappointed that he had forgotten the name. "Nareji… his name was Nareji…"

Inuyasha had never heard the name. Somehow, he thought that he would have.

"…sometimes—" Kouga's next word unexpectedly shattered into another cough. He swallowed, regained his air, and began again. "Sometimes we called that river a border between our two tribes… but Nareji…" for a small moment, the wolf's eyes opened again, perhaps trying to reach out to the memory. "…we were best friends in just a day." Kouga said fondly as his eyes slipped closed again. "But the border was where the fighting happened… and when I was a cub, everyone remembered the fighting, especially my father."

Gradually, Inuyasha's gaze drifted back to the wolf. It was unexpected, but he could feel the heartbeat beneath his palm slowing down as Kouga spoke. It seemed to be a good thing.

"My father found out about it… he asked what I had been doing." Kouga quaked with a slight shiver. "I said he was my friend… and then he struck me."

It was subtle, but Inuyasha could hear the anger appear in the wolf's raspy voice.

Kouga's face tightened. "He said that I was wrong. He said that we were enemies… not friends…" Each word was slow and carefully formed. For a while, he mused over how to continue. Inuyasha stayed just as quiet as he was while the thoughts ran their way through. "…until I said what he wanted to hear, he just kept hitting me." Kouga resumed his reminiscence. "I said what he wanted, I acted the way he wanted, I did what he wanted…"

Without realizing it, the half-demon's eyes had drifted back to Kouga. Never once did they move.

"I guess… after a while… I even thought the way he wanted." The wolf prince shamefully ended.

His arm weakly rose, his hand joined Inuyasha's above the fragile beat of his chest. No move was made by the hanyou.

"…Inuyasha." The wolf stopped, wordless. The name nearly broke as he spoke it. "…I need you to know… how sorry I am."

Once again, Kouga managed to force his eyes open and look straight back into the gold hue of the half-demon's.

"For everything." He said as clear as he was able. He finally gave into the stinging burn and let his eyes shut again. "…everything I said to you… everything I did. You didn't deserve it… I'm so sorry." The wolf's deep voice broke as he finished. Even though he was glad to say it, the shame was unavoidable. With difficulty, he swallowed and kept going. "I should have been strong enough to remember who I am… I should have been…" The volume fell as he forced the words out, the last came only as a whisper.

"I should have been like you."

Kouga finally granted himself rest. One more word would have broke his limits. A strange numbness, probably his need for sleep, was darkening his mind as he went. Inuyasha, still and quiet, only looked down on him with a gaze that was completely devoid of his usual manner. The wolf's quivering hand still laid over his own; two fingers had come between some of his own. The once frantic pulse in Kouga's chest had grown docile. He was sure that the wolf had said everything he wanted, and so he asked his own question.

Out of the long silence, Inuyasha's own voice came. "Is that why you came after me?"

For a moment, Kouga's only answer was the tightening between their hands. He inhaled a long preparation of air and let it slowly leave him. "No." he sighed. "That's not the reason…"

The half-demon awaited the answer patiently. Each of the other's fingers had slipped between his own.

Kouga's face tilted away. "You have to hear something, Inuyasha..." he haltingly whispered to the figure at his side. "…You might hate me for it… but you have a right to know."

"Inuyasha…" Kouga shivered again. It lasted longer than the others and never fully ceased as the wolf softly spoke his three words.

"…I love you."

He tried to open the eyes again, but the pain was too much. It was minutes before Inuyasha made even a small sound. Yet, to his relief, no sound that followed was an angry one.

"…What?" the dog said, barely even audible. It was all that passed between his lips.

Kouga formed a feeble nod. "…It started the first day I met you…" The wolf winced again as something came from his injury. "…then it just… grew." He finished.

The painful throb below his shoulder gradually spread to his arm and inched its way down into the joints of his fingers, which gently tightened around Inuyasha's hand. He tried to bare the feeling as long as he could, even as it expanded to ache in his whole chest and clench down on his veins. Kouga hissed as the pain delivered a harsh and sudden surge. He could feel the half-demon's wordless stare while he watched the suffering take place. The occurrence subsided in moments, leaving the weary wolf gasping for oxygen.

"…I tried so hard to make it go away." He murmured through his teeth. The wolf grunted while another pulse of sharp sensations passed through him. The moment reached its peak and Kouga's jaw strained while it happed. Soon, he was able to draw breath again. "…but there's nothing I can do… to change it."

Inuyasha listened attentively to each of the wolf's fragile words.

Kouga's chest deeply rose and fell while the hanyou's eyes stayed completely fixed on him. The pupils never shifted away while he continued to swallow precious gasps of air. The wolf's damp brow deepened as another painful wave coursed through his body. Inuyasha felt his hand loosen as the moment passed.

"I love you, Inuyasha…" the wolf prince panted out again, exhausting the last reserves of his energy.

Inuyasha stayed at Kouga's side with a frozen gaze. All of the brash toughness that characterized him had departed from his face. No further sound came from the one laying beside him, the wolf's voice had been depleted. Now, he was left alone with the slowing rhythm of Kouga's breath. He found himself just as speechless as the dark-haired demon resting under his palm. His weary eyes drifted down to their hands joined a mere few inches from the grisly wound piercing through the flesh. The flow of blood had finally stopped on its own in spite of the hanyou's previous efforts to do it himself. He could feel the feverish heat softly transferring into his own fingers from Kouga's. The stillness of those fingers was mesmerizing. All of the repeating movements that the wolf's weakened body made were slowing in their pace.

Inuyasha swallowed and he felt his head sink. "…Thanks… Kouga." He whispered to the wolf. The short gesture was all he could conjure.

A soft, nearly undetectable pulse could be felt in the gaps between Kouga's fingers. The seconds went by and Inuyasha did not feel the next one. He waited for a period that felt like it was one moment too long. He felt the next small throb come and go. Another long stillness transpired with no sound or sensation. The next breath after the last failed to reach Inuyasha's ear with each passing second. Those muted seconds accumulated to a full minute with no audible breath nor detectable beat of the wolf's heart. The half-demon gave a small nudge. No reaction.

He gently shook his chest. No reaction.

Inuyasha shook him again. Kouga's head rocked aimlessly with his movements.

The hanyou's eyes widened and he gave a firm push with both hands. He shook the wolf's body hard and still received no response. Nearly another full minute had gone by and Kouga hadn't made a single sound. Panicked, Inuyasha gave a hard shove.

"No!" he yelped. "You _can't_ die! Don't you dare!"

No heartbeat reassured him, no breath, no opening of the eyes, the only thing that greeted him was the dark, lonely circles beneath them. The hanyou shook him again, certain that another critical minute was about to be added to the deathly silence. He shoved him violently, screamed the wolf's name, pulled on his hands, but nothing succeeded in bringing about Kouga's revival. Inuyasha's heart raced, he clutched the sides of his head, the third minute had passed and his hopeless efforts had proven to be exactly what was expected: hopeless. The seconds counted themselves in the half-demon's storming head. He hammered his brow for an idea of any sort. It was a long, straining search through his millions of different thoughts and another full minute was added to his distress. Then, like a spark igniting a fire, the proper memory fell into his hands. His eyes snapped open and he went to work.

Careful not to touch the wound, Inuyasha positioned both hands on the wolf's chest and drew a deep breath. Then, he pushed down hard. Kouga's body bobbed with every firm push that followed, Inuyasha counted as he went.

"_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight…_"

He quickly reached thirty good pumps like he remembered he was supposed to. A quick glance at Kouga's unresponsive face signaled him to try again. He thrust down with his hands again and started over.

"_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven! Eight!_" he took another glance, still nothing.

"_Fifteen! Sixteen! Seventeen!_" No response.

Inuyasha halted and took another long look at Kouga's face. He knew that it wasn't enough. Quickly, he smacked the hesitation out of his head and bent over the wolf's mouth. His lips closed in on the other's and he stopped to prepare a long breath. The half-demon nearly recoiled, but eventually gave a short huff and covered Kouga's mouth with his own.

He thought he could taste the blood as he pushed two strong deliveries of air into the wolf's mouth. He rolled his eyes and scurried his hands back above the heart once more.

"_Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-one. Twenty-two._" He grunted with each of his downward thrusts.

He reached thirty again and checked Kouga's face, listening for a sound. He was too frantic to feel foolish for what he was doing, but nothing had a better chance of accomplishing the impossible. So, hastily, he bent down again and repeated the cycle. He finished and went straight back to the pushing. Yet, when he was around twenty pumps, he still wasn't seeing a reaction. Inuyasha growled to himself. It had probably been over five minutes and it still wasn't working. Something was pulling on his memory of how to perform the procedure for several moments and then, right when he hit twenty five, he punched himself in the head and stopped.

"Gah! Idiot!" Inuyasha cursed himself and lunged back down to Kouga's face.

Still muttering up a storm at himself, the half-demon frantically tilted the wolf's head back as far as it would go and transferred another supply of air to him through the mouth.

He pushed his hands back down on Kouga's chest even harder. "Dammit. She. Told me. A hundred. Times!" the dog furiously grunted out while he kept pumping.

Another minute went by, he reached thirty again, forced in two more breaths, and went back to his repetitions.

"Come on, wimpy wolf…" he muttered through his teeth while he went. "You've had worse. Come on…"

He reached fifteen and checked Kouga's face. Seeing no change, Inuyasha went back and pushed just below the point where he would start breaking bones. The repeating action was beginning to tire his arms, but he kept going until he reached thirty for the fourth time and stopped. He tilted the head back again and blew in more air. Afterward, he tried a slower, more powerful pace with his hands, hammering great effort into each pump.

"_Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Twenty-three! Twenty-four!"_

_Twenty-five._

_Twenty-six._

The half demon practically shouted the next numbers, then hit twenty-nine.

Just as he hammered down, a loud, scratchy gasp rung out in the cave. Kouga's chest sprung straight up and his sudden sound was almost a scream. The burst of motion took Inuyasha by surprise and sent him jumping backward, hands raised in a reflexive defense.

Panting, the half-demon watched the wolf writhe and take deep, raspy gasps after what must have been eight minutes with no air. The quick pace of Inuyasha's own breath was comparable to Kouga's. He stared for many minutes, wide-eyed and disbelieving at what he had done while the convulsions quaking the wolf's chest slowly subsided and granted him deep access to the much-needed oxygen. Inuyasha's tense hand finally dropped to his side, the other was still clutching his racing heart.

"…holy hell…" He panted to himself, still staring at Kouga. "…it worked."


	10. The Silver Fur

A thorough shroud stretched from the trees all across the tangle of roots locked in the soil. Each stealthy breeze that crept its way through the leaves was never more than a small chill that touched the skin. The many shadowed greens drifted in one direction or the other with this dynamic presence but had little more pace than the narrow clouds that strode across the night sky. Tiny specks that drew the faint border between light and darkness came filtering down through the canopy from a weak sliver of the moon. Whatever nocturnal creatures that could have added their rustle to the sound of two quick feet were absent. The lone noises of Kouga's footsteps only had the company of the dead leaves layered over the ground and the soft dirge of the crickets. Yet, in spite of such a motionless night, one breeze came strong enough to carry an altered scent to him. The smell was one he had sampled before but only on a few occasions. Each time that the wolf caught it on his nose, the experience always felt like the first time. In an odd way, it reminded him of the first time he had met Inuyasha and took a breath of his unique aura. The unfamiliar feeling was similar, but also different. The normal scent was made of many varying things, one of them being the distinct signature that marked Inuyasha's dog-demon ancestry. On nights like this, however, that mark subsided and gave way to humanity. From Kagome, he had only heard of the way the hanyou looked in his human form but never saw it with his own two eyes.

Of course, Kouga detected the girl's presence gliding on the same breeze as Inuyasha's. Hers was unquestionably different and riddled with curiosities. Many strange, foreign aromas could be found in Kagome's unfamiliar variety of smells. Few of them were unpleasant, but they somehow could make one feel distracted and sometimes even vexed by how alien they seemed. The first time he was introduced to this girl, Kouga knew that she hailed from a very different place. In the end, it was the unsolvable mysteries of her aura that allowed the wolf to accept that she was not simply from another place, but another time entirely. The obviousness of her nearby presence prompted Kouga to slow his steps to a walk. The village he approached was becoming a familiar destination. The significance of everything there was gradually made clear to him with each visit. Whenever he came to this place, there was always another tale to tell or sight to see that was part of the half-demon's story.

The shrubs thinned and opened to give Kouga a full look at the dim sky. The multitude of stars was malnourished by the moon's thin curve. A few lights flickered in the midst of the simple homes collected across the clearing. A dirt path twisted through the trees and pointed in the direction of the settlement, trailing up to the silhouette Kouga saw standing against the foliaged background. She appeared to be wandering, but once every few moments, her head would linger on a bare tree that bent out from the edge of the woods. The transformed scent blew from the same direction that Kagome glanced. There wasn't the usual silver glimmer of Inuyasha's hair, which was strange to the wolf-demon, but Kouga saw a shape recoiled in the crooked arms of the tree and knew it was him. No doubt, a tree was ideal for the half-demon's night of vulnerability. All he could see was a shadow, not the black hair or dark eyes that had been described to him; the night was too dark for seeing such things. While he pattered his feet into the clearing, Inuyasha's human ears would not hear him. Kouga was invisible to him. Yet, as he came through the grass, a different pair of eyes caught sight of him. The wolf stopped as Kagome looked up at him. Her initial tension dwindled as she registered who she was looking at. A frail smile greeted Kouga on his approach. She turned away from the faint moonlight and met him in the center of the clearing.

"I was wondering if that was you." She quietly commented while the distance closed. Her voice was enough to tell Kouga that she was supposed to be sound asleep.

He formed his typical charming smile for her and stood close by while they watched the still moon. "I'd visit more if I could, Kagome." His mouth went going within moments. But the lack of response from the girl as she gazed toward the branches across the clearing told him there was no need for the usual effort in his dialogue. A little sound was the only confirmation that she provided for even hearing him. Kouga folded his arms and watched Inuyasha's shape shift in the branches slightly. Other than those few movements, the half-demon was still enough for his shadow to be seen as part of the tree he rested in. The wolf could scarcely tell where the lines of the tree separated from the hanyou's. "He asleep?" Kouga asked while he watched.

Kagome sagged. "I don't think so." She answered, shaking her head gently. "He'd never shut his eyes like this."

He gave her a short look. "Just what is it that he worries about so much?"

She pushed one of her loose strands of dark hair back in and mused over the question. "Anything, I guess." she replied softly. What little light there was seemed to collect in her eyes. They shifted back up to the tree's dark figure and pondered over the image. "…but tonight isn't like other nights."

"Because of the moon?" Kouga inquired.

Kagome shook her head again. "No. It isn't just that." She murmured and joined her hands at the waist. She stared down at the wandering blades of grass while Kouga waited for her to continue. For a while, the only ones that spoke were the persistent crickets. She drew a breath and resumed. "You see… when he changes, the effects aren't just in the way he looks." She said, fiddling with her fingers. "He says that when it happens… it gets harder to control his feelings too."

Kouga felt his brow rise. His eyes returned to the distant silhouette and he began to recall all of the difficult events of the last few weeks. A question raised by those happenings floated to the top of his head as he processed the knowledge.

Kagome inched closer as the wolf looked forward across the open space. "Kouga, I'm really glad to see you." She reassured him. "But if you're thinking of staying for the night, can you just give him his space?"

"Yeah…" Kouga nodded in a simple agreement. Kagome promptly thanked him and turned back to the dimming lights of the village. Another breeze tickled the wolf's nose while he watched Inuyasha repositioning himself again. For a brief second, the light touched him in the way just proper enough to define the outline of his face. Still, Kouga couldn't make out anything other than his general form. "Who was she, Kagome?" he asked with few further thoughts.

She visibly drooped at the question. "It's a long story." She attempted to satisfy.

Kouga's arms loosened. "I've got time." He added, encouraging a better answer.

She gradually looked back to him and saw the hungry mind beckoning behind his pupils. It was clear that the wolf would be better off knowing the complete tale. So, Kagome began to walk through the grass with Kouga. "He wouldn't want me to tell you this." She began while the wolf politely listened. Her head tilted up to the veiled stars as she went. "She was a priestess… her name was Kikyo. She used to live here in this village."

Kouga rubbed his neck while they strolled away. "Some kind of friend of his, then?"

What crossed the girl's face almost looked like a smile. "Fifty years ago he was in love with her." She honestly detailed.

He stopped. To Kouga, the very idea of Inuyasha in love with anyone was near impossible to imagine. Everything he had seen and heard from this person was a conflict with the image of affection. Though it was hard to picture, it was strangely wonderful to think of. His eye met Kagome's. "…and he still is, right?"

Her head lowered. "It's… complicated." She sighed, alluding to events that would take the whole night to describe and explain. Kouga followed while she wandered under one of the trees. "…and now that she's gone…" she paused, suddenly bearing a different look. "…I can't really say I know how he feels."

Kouga joined her in the shadow of the leaves against the bark. "He ended up sealed to the tree, but that was Naraku's doing, right?" he said, thinking aloud.

Kagome gave a short nod. "Whatever he's feeling right now, tonight is the worst of it." Her voice came with a hint of sorrow. The words went to no one in particular, more so, they were disembodied thoughts prominent in the girl's head. The soft melody of the forest filled the quietness that passed for the next few minutes. At least, they felt like minutes to Kouga. He was still experiencing the challenge of trying to imagine Inuyasha showing affection. Each action, an embrace, a gift, a smile, a kiss, all seemed so unnatural for the hanyou's mannerisms. Kagome faced him as the odd pictures ran their course. "Kouga… you know loss. Probably better than he does." She stated all of the sudden.

His head bowed. "Naraku's handiwork has a way of being followed around by death." A bitterness stung in his tone.

The mention of the name seemed to sadden them both. Kagome gazed back out into the clearing. The moon hadn't moved an inch. "Is there something you think I should do?" she asked him, watching a cloud drift across the thin crescent in the sky.

Kouga crossed his arms. He let a long sigh go and quickly found his answer. "The packmates that Naraku killed were like family to me, Kagome." He spoke with a low head. "But I can't say I know how he feels either… not all death is the same, really."

Her disappointment was clear, but not surprising. Kagome took another look out toward Inuyasha's tree. "I just hate sitting and watching like this." She breathed out in a forlorn manner.

"Well…" Kouga continued, scratching his head. "I do remember someone, this friend I had when I was still a cub." The memories came up and he couldn't help but grin at several of them. "One of a kind, really special and he was… well, he was important to me." Quite suddenly, the wolf's fond expression withered. "Then one day, he just… died. Maybe because he was just old, I don't know. But that wasn't what I thought; I got really mad when it happened."

She awaited any further note, Kagome had been listening carefully. Kouga had adopted a glazed look in the eyes while he remembered his companion. The early years of his life weren't often allowed back to the surface. The girl watched him intently. "How did you deal with it?" she asked him.

Kouga chuckled. "To be honest, I don't think I ever did, not in a very healthy kind of way, besides." He tried reassuring her with a grin. "Anyway, it doesn't bother me so much anymore. The thing that I really needed was time, I guess." His gruff voice finished.

She looked back at him, seeming to be somewhat doubtful. "You really think that's all he needs?"

The wolf casually leaned off of the trunk. "Well, if I'm wrong, you're probably right about the 'space' thing." He acknowledged, expressing his concurrence by taking the first steps back where he came from. "I'll see you later Kagome, on a better night."

She watched him step out of the shadow and take one last look across the grass. Just as he began to walk back into the trees, Kagome thanked him and said her farewell. Kouga returned a final, friendly gesture and began making his way home.

_________

A myriad of stars cradled in the crackled outline of the leaves above spread over Kouga's head. The silence of this place was peculiar to him. After so many months of falling asleep to the continuous noise of crickets, their absence was a stirring change. As far as Inuyasha had taken them both, the foliage around them had been abandoned by the more sensitive creatures and left him alone with the sound of water trickling over the nearby rocks. Every once in a while a pleasant wind would bring relief to the horrible heat that refused to leave his brow. Fortunately, the rest of his body was kept at a decent state with the water that surrounded it. The sound of the stream had led him to this place, a dent in the middle of the forest where the water collected in a reticent pond. The roots of the trees that surrounded it snaked into the surface from all sides. A few dead leaves could be seen wandering around on the opposite edge where the stream entered. Watching them in their aimless drifting, Kouga found himself twitching awake several times. He was quite certain that the last time he had fallen asleep had lasted longer than the others.

He tried to venture a guess as to how many days it had been since the scorpion struck him. The puncture didn't bleed anymore, but it still throbbed every few moments and the obvious hole below his shoulder was still considerably deep. He had tried to his very best effort to wash himself clean, but the feeling didn't go away even when he exhausted his weak arms with all of the scrubbing. The wolf took a short look at his clothes draped over the rocks a few meters away. It was what remained of his attire, anyway; they had been ruined and he was glad to get them off. The metal of his chest plate bore several tears, the fur was practically caked in dried blood. If he had any other choice, Kouga never would have planned to put them on again. He kept staring up at the motionless sky and admired a particularly bright dot he noticed in the midst of a cluster of many dim ones. The smell of the fresh water was a strange reminder of Inuyasha. Kouga had few things to compare to the hanyou's scent, but this instance actually had some similarities. The uncomfortable symptoms that choked him only nights before were still clinging to him. Most of all, he still felt like he had the worst fever of his life. Indeed, if he wasn't in such a condition, this water would be freezing.

The wolf-demon lifted his arms out and stretched them over the rocks. Finding a place that was just deep enough for him was an annoying challenge. Able to rest his head back on a very conveniently shaped rock, the wolf was tempted to allow himself to simply go to sleep where he was. Sleep was more appreciated by him now than ever before. For all he knew, he had been sleeping on the floor of that cave for an entire week and yet, he felt his eyes pleading for rest every time he opened them. He could only imagine the way he must have looked, being so weary. Dozing off would have been so much easier if a certain series of thoughts didn't keep coming back. True, he was grateful for finding this place that he needed so greatly, but his own words were replaying over and over, whether he was asleep or awake. Kouga wasn't even certain if those words had even been spoken the night before. Nearly every shredded memory he could collect was so delirious that he couldn't differentiate them from his dreams. The chaos of his secret thoughts, it seemed, had spilled over his solid memories and landed him with a very exhausted head.

Then, he heard it. Oddly, he heard it before he smelled it, the sound of a single foot touching the grass just a small distance behind him. There was no need to turn and look. Kouga had known it was only a matter of time before his solitude was left behind. The air carried Inuyasha's presence to him and he could feel the eyes discovering him. Just like the wolf, though, the hanyou had no words to give as he approached from the trees behind. His eyelids stayed shut while he listened to the patter of the half-demon's walk. By the way that he heard the footsteps stop, he knew that he was being looked at. The eyes could have been curious, worried, upset, or angry. One or the other was uncertain for Kouga; he decided to listen. For a minute, the silent exchange was the only thing that was heard.

He listened to him coming closer. "…You look different with your hair like that." Inuyasha's raspy voice came breezing to him. The statement reminded Kouga of how few people ever saw him without his hair tied back. Somehow, he had even found stains on that small accessory as well. There were plenty of things that he considered responding with, but he ended up returning the soft sound of a deep breath and kept watching the leaves hovering on the water's flat surface, it was enough to tell the hanyou that he was listening. Understandably, the right words were hard to muster. Hearing Inuyasha talk so carefully was a very new experience. He pushed another sentence when Kouga said nothing. "…How are you feeling?"

The wolf was somewhat relieved at the simple question. The answer was practically in the sweat on his brow. "Tired… sick…" he exhaled deeply. "…and very, very hot."

Kouga said nothing else, but his slow pant was enough to hear the truth in that answer. "…It hasn't been long…" Inuyasha murmured. "Just try taking it easy…"

A small grin crept to the corner of the wolf's mouth. "Can't do much else…" he said absently while he listened to the distant stream. Inuyasha quietly stayed where he was with little to think of or Kouga to expect. The quiet grew long again and the wolf-demon's blue eyes swayed between the sky, the leaves, and the water several times. All the while, the one standing not so far behind him kept eyes on his still form. One was waiting for the other to speak again. Seconds became minutes with no passing voice and Kouga released a heavy sigh. "You don't need to be here, Inuyasha…" he reassured weakly.

The hanyou shifted. "You could have told me where you went."

He massaged an ache from his brow. "I didn't want to wake you." The wolf replied.

Suddenly, annoyance boiled up in Inuyasha's tone. "Hey!" he growled, eliciting Kouga's eye contact. Even in the shroud of the night, the hanyou still looked fatigued. "You know how long it's been?" he irritably questioned the other.

"Not really." The wolf answered truthfully.

"Four days." Inuyasha clarified, crossing his arms. "I know. I was awake the whole time watching you choke… and bleed." The anger gradually simmered back down, his hard stare faltered. "…thinking you were gonna die."

Inuyasha's head sank. He paused, then walked softly to the edge of the water and rested himself near Kouga. Eye contact was avoided while he settled himself and stared down into the pool. "…and it would have been my damn fault." He murmured to himself almost too soft for the wolf to hear. Kouga listened carefully as he stared toward the stars reflected across the water, distorting as they grew farther away. Inuyasha was nearly close enough for them to reach out and touch, but no such movement was made. As he summoned his courage, their eyes avoided each other. It seemed that the hanyou was watching the same thing that he was.

He allowed his tired eyes another rest. "Someone wise once told me something important." Kouga began, feeling Inuyasha's eyes turning to him as he did so. He swallowed. "He said… when something bad happens, everyone's mistakes play a part; it's never just one person." It was surprising how few words it took for his voice to become scratchy again; it had been a long time since he had used it. The wolf-demon pushed a portion of his wet hair back over the shoulder and cleared his throat. The other waited quietly for any further speech from him. Kouga let his eyes slip open to the starry pool once more. "Inuyasha… something keeps going through my head. I think it might have been a dream… I don't know…" he hesitantly voiced to him. "Did I… say something the other night?"

He heard a soft exhalation from the half-demon. "I remember." He let out simply, confirming Kouga's fragmented memory.

The knowledge struck a deep chord in him. He couldn't help but feel slightly sicker in the stomach when he heard it. The wolf could feel himself recoiling in his place in the water. He cycled a deep breath in and out. "Are you… angry?" he asked, the voice nearly stuck in his throat.

"Don't insult me." He heard the half-demon's prompt response. In truth, it wasn't what Kouga expected to hear, yet it flowed through Inuyasha's voice as clear as the day. Turning his surprised eyes to him, the wolf saw a deep firmness in the hanyou's returning gaze. "You think I don't know better than that? That I'm just like everybody else?" he harshly questioned the moment their eyes met. The wolf felt his stomach stir again, but not in the way it did before, what he felt wasn't shame or fear. Inuyasha gave a huff and crossed his arms. His gaze fell away from Kouga as he continued. "I remember what you said. You said a lot of things that night…" A pause came. He inched himself toward the edge of the pond, letting one of his bare feet hang down into the cold water. For a while, he stirred ripples in the reflective surface with his toe and watched the images flicker and wave. "…stuff I never thought I'd hear… least of all from you." His pyrite eyes shifted from the rippling waters straight back to the wolf's. "I've got no right to be mad at you, even if I wanted to be." He completed.

The wolf's blue eyes hardly even blinked as he listened. Inuyasha finished with an unmistakable, honest gaze. He let himself sink into the chilled water as far as he would go and let the heat wash away. Several long, deep breaths filled Kouga's trembling lungs as he reveled in all wonderful forms of relief. He couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from curving and hardly made the effort to do it. One cool, satisfying moment passed and he brought himself back up, letting all of the gathered air vent back out in a huge sigh. "Thanks…" he said as he let his sore eyes drift closed.

He didn't see if Inuyasha had nodded, but liked to imagine that he did. For a while, he was able to feel peaceful. The half-demon stayed where he was, tossing pebbles into the water while Kouga listened to the small plopping noises. The reason for the other's continuing presence was unclear to him and when he thought about it his brain found another reason to bring the worries back.

The dog flicked another tiny rock out of his fingers; Kouga opened his eyes. "Inuyasha?" he addressed out of the silence. "What will you do now?"

Nearly a minute passed with no sound from him. The hanyou thoughtfully rolled another pebble between his fingers and tossed it in. "Don't know." He finally said under his breath.

Kouga watched one of the ripples fade away just as it entered his sight. "Inuyasha…" Another leaf fell from the trees hanging over the pond. "…if you go… I don't think I can follow you."

The leaf spun in the air and gently touched down to the surface. He stopped just as he was about to toss in another speck of rock. "I never said that." The half-demon grunted before tossing the pebble in farther than before. The circles spread out over the reflected stars while the wolf-demon's pupils followed their progress. They reached their threshold and vanished, leaving the surface flat again.

"You stood there, Inuyasha." Kouga suddenly spoke with a subtle forlornness.

The hanyou's two eyes slowly fell back onto the wolf prince, gazing down with a dim look. The icy blue of his irises appeared to shiver.

He swallowed. "You just stood there… in front of that demon." Kouga reminisced as his brow deepened. Inuyasha drifted back to the scenery in front of him and stayed there. "…waiting."

When there continued to be no eye contact with him, Kouga pushed himself out of his nook in the rocks and drew closer, sending a trail of distorting waves across the water. He stared hard at him, trying to draw the other's returned gaze, but Inuyasha just lowered his head and blinked. "I just want you to take care of yourself, okay?" he spoke in his gruff voice.

"…"

The wolf inched closer and tried to look up to the half-demon's low stare. "Please… I need you to stay alive."

He blinked again. The hanyou's hand trailed up through his silver hair to rock back and forth on the scalp just below one of his white, drooping ears. "…Need." He whispered, repeating Kouga's word. The fingers glided back out of his silver locks and came to rest on his leg. It was a long wait before the half-demon's eyes shifted back upward and he sighed a short "Alright."

"Your word?" the wolf pushed further, still not at ease with his worries.

Inuyasha heaved another sigh but, at last, he shut his eyes and gave one clear nod of the head.

_________

The four paws of a wolf ran steadily over the dry ground. They traversed the distance between the increasingly thick shrubs as the valley rolled between the shadows of the cliffs. Twigs broke and dust billowed up behind the canine as it went swiftly through the obstacles, following its trail. The scent was from a creature that clearly didn't wish to be found, judging by the way it twisted and faded in a wandering path. Still, this silvery animal had faced greater challenges before and this task was a simple feat for him. He stopped just at the edge of a thicker patch of bushes that even boasted a few short trees in the distance. For a while, its grey tail swayed behind while the air was sniffed for a decent bearing to follow. Then, unfaltering, it leapt into the shrubs and began to navigate through the ever-thickening leaves. The wolf's nose hovered close to the parched soil and closely followed the smell underneath, over, and through many stubborn branches. Many more minutes of careful tracking went by as it navigated through the maze of foliage. The trail would change every so often and send the canine in a completely different direction. Arriving at a thick wall of tangled branches, it pawed carefully through and emerged from the leaves and out of the shade. Slight heat, just a small degree more than what the wolf's fur was comfortable with, radiated down from the harsh sun. No more cliffs were there to shield it as the valley opened and revealed the distant horizon of green just at the edge of the territory.

The wolf's dark eyes briefly skimmed over the scene. The sun, however hot, was beginning to fall low on its path into dusk and then nightfall. Its nose went back to sniffing the ground for a few seconds, searching for the targeted presence in the dust. Before long, the wolf sprung back into a directed run and down the valley's slope. The trail stayed direct for the next many paces. Then, quite suddenly, the ground dropped into a short ledge. Another check was made when the wolf stopped in his tracks. His senses still provided the same information and led him maneuvering his paws in steps down the steep drop. The first landings were successful, but the next ones touched down on unstable dirt and eventually sent the wolf sliding down the rest of the way, leaving a cloud of tan dust drifting in the breeze behind him. At last, it landed on flat ground again at the foot of another thick collection of shrubs that grew higher than the eyes went. A dark, pointed ear twitched at the small noise that came from the other side of the leaves. It was hardly a whimper, but unmistakably from the voice of a child. Once more, the canine went rustling through the bushes and snapped through several twigs. When it came out the other side, the sight of a small boy in a fur set of clothes met with the grayish wolf's eyes.

The presence of the creature was noticed immediately. By a noticeable difference, he was smaller than the wolf. The boy had a head full of dark hair that flowed down his small shoulders, skin that had been raised under much sunlight, and two icy, blue eyes. They eyes did not show fright, however. Instead, they merely turned back to the wide forest spreading out across the distance just at the bottom of the dry slope. Gently lifting its paws, the wolf approached from behind the young creature and came to sit beside him. It quietly looked over the cringing child, eyes shifting from a bruise on his temple to a cluster of scrapes on his shoulder and to the deep, bleeding gash just below them. The boy had his left arm secured tight against himself; the limb was the center of many recurring shivers that went through the whole body. Each injury was difficult to ignore, but it seemed that the young wolf-demon cub was doing just that by staring out across the horizon in front of him.

A voice came, not from the child, who was, to tell the truth, abnormally silent. Instead, the words came in a tone that carried the subtle use of many, many ages. It was a voice that had the sound of a canine's vocals, yet was also eloquent in its pitch.

"You're very far from the den, Prince Kouga" spoke the wolf in his rare, aged tones.

The young wolf-prince wearily shook his head. "You don't have to call me that, Silver." He said in his youthful voice, keeping the arm locked firm in the nook of his lap.

The wolf laid himself flat next to Kouga. "Sorry. Old habits, you know." He kept looking over the variety of cuts and bruises that could be found on nearly every part of the boy's body. The moment he saw Kouga sitting here, he had smelled the salt of tears and could now see that more were on the delicate verge of spilling. "To be quite frank, Kouga, you look like you should be getting bandaged, not wandering at the edge of our territory." The silvery canine got back on his paws and circled around to the child's other side, which was even worse than the left one. What caught the wolf's eye most instantly was the purple, nearly black spot all across Kouga's shoulder. More blood was smearing from three more small cuts that came slicing from the edge of his forearms. Instinctively, he gave them a short sniff and the wolf cub winced without the injuries even being touched. "What were you doing?" Silver questioned the smaller creature, worry riddling his look.

Kouga looked away. "Just… playing." His voice shook as he replied.

"This 'play' looks more like battle." The old wolf commented as he circled back around the other side again.

Kouga suddenly clenched his eyes shut and gave a thick grunt. In a moment, the occurrence passed, but not without Silver noticing the pain. He knew this elder wolf-demon well enough to remember how talented he was at seeing the smallest details. "I'm okay… I'm fine." The youth half-whimpered.

Silver's old, focused eyes gave him a long look. The pain Kouga was in was clear through the trembling of his little body. Sitting himself next to the battered child again, the canine showed him a solemn look. "Kouga… I'd never demand the truth from you. I just request and hope to always receive it."

The young wolf winced as he pulled his still arm in tighter. "Are you gonna take me back?" he asked, swallowing deeply.

Silver bowed his grey snout. "I think that would be wise."

In Kouga's blue eyes, a deep dread welled up the moment he heard his answer. His head slowly sunk and it seemed that the shaking had grown worse. There was no actual mention of opposition, but Silver wasn't one to make decisions for anyone. "Kouga?" he gently addressed, gesturing to the young wolf's lap with his black nose. "Is the arm broken?"

The questioned entered Kouga's ear, sunk in, and then the boy began to strain against the tremor that followed. His eyes clenched, but it was too late for him to stop the tear that slipped out and trailed down his cheek. In spite of his hardest efforts to bring the tear back up, it found its way to the very edge of his face and finally dropped off; Silver's dark eyes followed it the entire way. Slowly, the wolf-prince formed a shaky nod and tried to push any other tears back up with his free hand. "I—" he sniffed. "I think so…" the three words came out almost in the form of sobs.

Silver scooted up to Kouga's side and offered him a place to rest his head, to which Kouga accepted while he wept. Keeping his left arm as still as possible, the boy buried his nose in the wolf's colorless fur. Silver's coat was strange with the way it was coarse in some places and very soft in others. The little wolf-demon searched for one of the softer places for a while and found one just above the front leg. He let his small forehead rest in the comforting fur while a few more tears spilled out. Silver's scent always succeeded in creating a soothing feeling.

The elderly wolf sat sturdy while Kouga leaned into him. One of the young prince's tears went soaking into his coat; the smell reached his sensitive nose and left him thinking aloud. "Sometimes I wish I was able to cry." He said thoughtfully.

The youth heard him and felt a small laugh escape. The reaction left a soft smile on his face. Kouga took a few long breaths and let his face lift away from Silver's welcoming fur. The pain still throbbed in his arm, but his childish sense of humor managed to maintain the relieving grin for a while. The large wolf's snout pointed down at Kouga's fragile smile and returned a happier gaze.

"I can't really help you with that, Kouga." Silver spoke, referring to the arm that the boy still had tucked in his lap. "I can carry you back and I'm sure someone will take care of it."

The young wolf's expression faded. "But… you said your back was hurting."

Silver bobbed his nose. "There's enough strength in these bones for you, Kouga."

The boy looked up at him with the same rueful feeling as before and stayed down on the ground. He gave no reply while Silver patiently waited for him to do so. More painful throbs would sear in the child's arm whenever it was budged. Eventually, Kouga asked for enough time to watch the sunset before returning to the den. Whether or not he meant what he requested, Silver granted it, much to the boy's relief.

An orange tint appeared in the sky as the bright light touched the horizon and continued its gradual movement down to perform the day's conclusion. Kouga wiped the tears from his eyes and settled back down with his injured arm still nestled where it was. Silver sat close by and watched. Despite the young prince's apparent desire to watch the day end, the morose expression didn't dissipate as Kouga endured the recurring ripples of pain in his bone. The sun had never felt more slow. Just as half of the bright circle dimmed to yellow and sank below the foliaged horizon, Silver laid down at Kouga's side with his paws stretched outward. Without a glance, the young wolf-demon's free hand found its way to the wolf's neck. Wordless, little Kouga began to rub deep into the grey fur around his shoulders and searched for the proper spot. No other person in the entire wolf-demon tribe was able to do this as well. At least, no person who was alive today.

Sadly, Kouga's motions were detectably slow and absent as they went; they failed to comfort Silver's sore joints as well as they normally did. The wolf heard the boy grunt in pain again and felt the jolt travel all the way into the fingers that stroked his neck. "Kouga? Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" he asked the silent youth. The boy cringed into a pained groan just as Silver finished his question. He lifted his small hand away and tried to massage the discomfort from his injured limb. The grey wolf watched with pity. "Perhaps we should go back, Kouga…"

"No!" The cub yelped instantly. He hung his head low. "I don't wanna go back there…" he whimpered. "…Just a little longer."

Kouga budged his broken arm back inward and continued to stare starkly into the vast distances just beyond the wolf territory. Gradually, he let his hand go back to Silver's soft neck and rest there. His sluggish fingers stretched and contracted one more time, then halted. A swallow collided with another wincing motion that traveled on Kouga's bones. He shortly recovered and went back to watching the sun on its slow procedure. Haltingly, he spoke again.

"Silver? What's out there?"

The old wolf raised his head and took a long look across the treetops tessellating outward. He slowly let his head rest on the ground again and answered. "Other demons, territories, forests, mountains, rivers." He listed in his wolfish voice. "…humans as well. It's the whole world, Kouga."

The little wolf-demon tilted his head in curiosity. "How big?" he inquired.

Silver's head repositioned an inch. "Oh, it's bigger than you know, always bigger than you think." He fondly replied. "You can travel and live for a thousand years and there will always be more to see." He exhaled deeply through his wet nose. "It makes the world special."

Kouga continued to gaze outward as he listened. The sun had gone deeper. His small noises of discomfort would revisit the ears every few minutes and Silver could always feel the twinge coming to an end in the cub's fingertips. Truthfully, seeing someone as young as Kouga was with such injury saddened the elderly canine. He had never encountered the boy in such a condition or seen him with anything beyond a few bruises and perhaps a cut or two. However, in spite of his concerns, he was a demon who valued a person's secrets. He was quite certain that Kouga felt the same. Besides, patience was a tool that never failed him in all of his long years.

"Silver?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something important?" the prince's youthful voice sounded.

One of Kouga's fingers began circling the wolf's right ear, pushing it down and letting it stand back up. "Of course." He responded in his weathered tone.

The cub hesitated for a moment, then allowed his question to come to speech. "What would you think if… I ran away?"

Silver quickly came out of the relaxed state Kouga's strokes had lulled him into and propped up on one of his paws. His dark, wolf eyes looked straight back at the boy's. "Why would you do that?" he asked further, curious.

It seemed that the reply had come up, but never left the cub's mouth. Kouga's head lowered and he groaned again as another jolt came from his arm. "…I dunno."

Silver sat himself back up, taking a long look at the descending sun. "The world is vast, Kouga, it's true. But it's also dangerous" he said, gesturing to the grounds with his paw. "…And here is where it's safe, it's where you will be safe until you can survive on you own someday. One day you will lead the pack." The silver-furred wolf described to him.

"But…" Kouga swallowed. "What if I don't want to?"

The wolf straightened himself up, gazing intently off into the distant scene. The sun was more than half consumed by the dusk. He vented a long breath. "…You're the heir to our tribe, Kouga. It's not a life that many demons will have."

Kouga clutched his aching arm as he listened to the elder demon. "But I don't want it." He quietly responded to the declaration. "Why should I?" questioned the youth in a tone that nearly sounded like anger.

Silver faced him with the closest thing to a smile that a wolf could compose. "That's a very easy question." He declared with confidence. "You're young, Kouga, very young. I scarcely remember the days when I had so much of my life ahead." The orange filling the sky had dimmed, a flare of gold forming around the circle of light in the center. He turned his wolf eyes back toward the sunset and continued. "Young though you are, you have the power to lead."

Kouga patiently awaited his friend to continue. The repeating aches in his arm were still there, yet dulled in their significance by what he listened to.

"Let me tell you something important, Kouga." Silver resumed as he gazed of into the darkening sky. The sun's generous light was collecting while the overhead colors began to fade away. "I've lived a long life. I remember when your father inherited the pack, your grandfather, and the man before him." The wolf pawed the ground, going back through his memory. "I remember all the way back to when demons such as me were the ones who held the earth." He reminisced to the young cub behind him. The light became caught in the wolf's grayish fur and, as Kouga had decided to nickname him, reflected a color that was truly silver. "And of all the leaders that I have seen inherit this tribe, you alone have given me the greatest hope for a better pack."

In the middle of the harsh ache he was experiencing, young Kouga was given a reason to smile again. "Really?"

Silver faced him again and bowed his head. "Yes, Kouga." He spoke clear and honest. "You are different from men like your father..." Concluded the wolf.

"…And that is why your cubs will not bleed as you do."

OKAY! Done. Let me know what you think of this character, because I really like him so far ^^


	11. The Coin

Yep, this took forever to write. But there's good news to cancel out the bad. This is the longest chapter yet! :D I hope you guys enjoy it. (Seriously, though. It's LONG.)

Kouga sat recoiled in the shadows of the cave walls. He remained still, allowing the subsiding aches in his arms to run their course uninterrupted. In the wide circle of bright color at the chamber's exit a stern figure observed the sunlight pouring down on the dry rock. He firmly rotated an object between his fingers as he watched the motionless scene just outside of their personal abode. Among the territory of the wolf-demons, this cave was the finest of them, although not the largest. It was, as Kouga's father had said when they first came, a place meant for the one who leads. In this place, a similar scene had reiterated itself with Kouga having less of his youth each time it passed. Each time he wanted so silently to be in another place, but the foreboding shape of his upset father fixed at the exit always kept him still. The fury could boil over again if he made a sound to express his pain. Another fist could fall if his father smelled the salt of a single tear from him. He had learned to avoid every possible path that could give him another bruise and to dedicate each waking moment to his preserved stillness. Stillness was the only choice that was safe, or only safer.

He nearly flinched as a sudden noise of irritancy came from his father. Once again, he was standing there and allowing his frustration to slowly recede, contemplating what he was to do next. Whatever went through the mind of this man was a mystery to Kouga and his next actions were no exception. The small, round piece of metal between his father's fingers was something that never left the security of his neck. With a strong string that looped through one of the four holes in the edges, the heirloom was constantly under his watchful eye and any being who dared to bring a finger too close would surely lose it. It was an alien scene unfolding in front of young Kouga when his father lifted the strand over his head and removed the precious object from his neck. After an admiring look was cast upon the shimmering treasure in his palm, his father's stern face soon resumed its normal behavior. Leaving the sunlight, he closed in on his son and knelt in front of him. Even in the shadows, gold light seemed to pool inside the engraved edges of the metal lying safely in his hand. Kouga's young, icy eyes only stared down at the emblem. Staring was the only thing he was ever able to do to it. He could feel the stare of his father locked onto him while he sat against the rock wall, wondering why the open hand had stretched so close to him.

With a grimace that mixed with some form of pride, his father showed him the small medallion. "Do you know what this is, Kouga?"

Kouga had no other answer than what he had seen and thought of the object. He didn't even know if it had a name; all he knew was the height of its importance to the one who possessed it so closely. A small shake of the head was all he could provide.

He knelt low to the level of his son's down-cast eyes. "This emblem is for my hand only… and yours. When I hold it, I lead. This pack recognizes me as their alpha." He explained with a newfound sense of tranquility. Explaining the meaning of the emblem seemed to rid his father's voice of the tense undertone. When Kouga looked into his dark eyes, they were not so angry as before. One of his fingers circled the fine edge as he spoke. "This has been in the hands of every demon who ever led the tribe for the last five-thousand years. Any soul who touches it without my word has chosen to challenge me and, in the end, the pack itself." He continued to explain.

With his finger lifting away, Kouga's father made a small movement and held the shimmering emblem out to him. Kouga silently brought his aching arm up to let it fall into his palm. The metal seemed like it reflected the bright light from outside no matter what angle is was tilted at. For a while, the young cub had a reason to keep his attention on something else. His father watched while the metal turned between the movements of Kouga's palm.

"One day, Kouga, this will be yours as it is mine. You will protect it as I do today." His father's voice came, almost attempting to be gentle.

With the white light from ahead defining the depressions and extrusions, Kouga's young pupils could detect a worn message in the tarnished metal. Though the engravings and lines that formed the design were of remarkable grace, they were indeed scarred with the weather of many, many years. The symbols on each side of the coin, laid lonely in the center and surrounded by the four holes, were so weakened by those ages that Kouga may not have even seen them if it was darker.

A fond grin formed in the line of his father's mouth, a rare sight that made Kouga feel unwary. "Isn't it beautiful?" he commented while he watched the light meandering across the lines. "Great demons have held this, Kouga. Don't you understand? Powerful figures who shed their blood in the name of the wolf tribe." He spoke proudly. It was likely to be a simple trick of his mind, but the moment that Kouga heard those words, he swore that he saw a faint hint of brown spattered across one of the sides. He tried to look for it again, but the shadows made it too difficult. A hard sigh was heard from the one speaking to him, "Someday you will have the honor to walk among them, but I won't be there to guide you. I want to be proud the day that this passes to your hand, not afraid." As the statement ended, he rose up to his feet with a small grunt. Looking out at the brightly lit scene just at the mouth of the cave, Kouga witnessed his frustration creep back into the noise of his breath. "Don't you understand?" he repeated with frost in his tone.

The young wolf lowered his head and gazed down at the medallion. "I understand." He murmured, hoping it would satisfy.

He folded his arms upon hearing his son's response. Turning his shady eyes back to Kouga, the lack of confidence was easily apparent. "Do you?" He said coldly. Kouga tried not to look away while his father crossed the distance between them. He cast a shadow over his son, giving him a stern look. "Then why do you continue to disappoint me?"

"I'm sorry…"

"I will not allow this pack to fall, Kouga, especially not at the hands of my own son. Too many weak leaders have led us to chaos." He declared firmly, the lines on his face growing deeper.

The statement sent many images through the cub's head, each as ambiguous as the last. The way that he heard it in such a tone made him feel as though he could shiver. "Chaos?" He inquired, the word being so unfamiliar to him.

His father had returned to facing the outside; he never looked back as he explained. "Cowards, Kouga, weak demons who couldn't understand the value of sacrifice. To bear this power is to accept a leader's destiny. For the love of his pack, he must live and if it has to be so… he must die." The last phrase came out faintly. For a long moment, his father didn't say anything more, he only stared out at the sunlit rocks. Kouga let his eyes fall back to the design of the emblem between his fingertips. The symbols on each side looked nothing like anything he had seen. They weren't like the ones he was learning about, they were different. Quietly, his father uncrossed his arms and allowed them to rest at his sides. "I only hope to have such an honor myself one day." He said with a vacancy of his usual tone.

Kouga found one of the better-defined lines of the symbols and felt it beneath the tip of his finger. A swish of white light swiveled around the edges as he tilted the medallion. "…Does it always end like that?" he asked, but soon wondered if he had spoken loud enough to be heard.

"For the greatest of our leaders, yes." His father replied calmly.

The young wolf-prince delicately angled the circle of metal until the sunlight began to fill as much of the surface as possible. The shades of the engraved lines nearly formed a completely black and white image. He continued to try, but the brown stain seemed to have vanished. Looking carefully at the designs of both sides, Kouga found no trace of familiarity in them. "What do these symbols mean?" he asked.

"…That knowledge, sadly, has been lost." His father answered, taking a few steps until he was once again exposed to the circle of sunlight being cast in through the entrance.

Kouga was somewhat disappointed to hear such a reply. "No one knows?"

"No living creature." He reassured before stepping back into the shade of their home. "Their meaning isn't important, Kouga, what matters is the heirloom itself." He continued to explain while he faced his son and approached him from the bright entrance. Once more, he reached the cave wall where Kouga rested and knelt in front of him with a hand that asked for the emblem. Without a second word, Kouga placed it into his father's palm and watched him carefully return it to the safety of his neck. Looking down at the medallion against his thumb, Kouga watched the changes in his father's thoughtful expression. "This has survived the test of thousands of years. It represents the greatness of all who have come before you and me. As long as a leader of true blood holds it, our tribe lives." With that final note, he tucked the emblem back into his chest plate where it could no longer be seen. "That is what truly matters, Kouga."

He rose up and gave his son one last short look. Then, he faced away and proceeded toward the deeper parts of the cave, most likely to retire for the day. "You can go now." He finished without a second glance.

Kouga waited until his father disappeared around the curve of the rock wall. At last, he was able to leave, massaging the darkening spots on his arms. Thankfully, bruises were all he had to deal with this time.

_________

When Kouga was finally content with the relief provided by the water, he decided to return to the cave. Truth be told, it was hardly a cave at all. The place that Inuyasha had so hastily searched for was little more than a deep dent in a steep slope of rock. It was only deep enough to keep them both away from the rain that had been falling days before. He returned as silently as he could, seeing that the hanyou was slumbering so deeply when he came. In fact, as he walked into their space, there wasn't the slightest sign of Inuyasha detecting him. Seeing him sleep so deeply was a new sight for Kouga. Taking a guess, the wolf realized that Inuyasha probably hadn't closed his eyes once for multiple days. When he laid down in a reasonably comfortable place, it was everything that he had hoped it would be. He could peacefully curl up against the cave wall and listen to the sound of the hanyou's breathing, like he used to before all of this happened. Memories of his bed back in the human village returned, watching the shadow cast on his window, seeing Inuyasha's feet drift, and seeing the leaves fall whenever he stirred. He would have wanted to stay awake longer and enjoy these memories with more time, but his eyes were still terribly sore and his muscles were still feeble. It wasn't long before he found himself out of reality and in the lawless darkness of his dreams.

Flashes of irritating light were what came next. He wasn't sure where they had come from. Something suddenly cut them off and then vanished, making it all suddenly blaze across his face and bother his eyes. For that one little moment, he was awake. He saw a short image of the daylight shining across the outside, but quickly fell back to sleep. In the way that sleep was, he didn't know how long it was until something else came and woke him up again. A soft breeze touched his nose and carried the strong scent of smoke into his nostrils. It wasn't truly an annoying smell in such a slight amount, but the other odor that came with it was what convinced him to open one of his eyes to the sun. He could smell the distinct scent of fish, the first thing he had ever learned how to detect. Kouga's curiosity was enough to get him on his knees, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Just over the lip of the cave and at the bottom of the slope, he saw a small fire crackling.

Inuyasha was absently poking at the little flames with a stick. Kouga immediately noticed that the top of the hanyou's red clothing was missing, leaving him in his white undershirt. That quickly led him to realize that the haori was no longer on Inuyasha, but himself. The wolf hadn't been able to put his ruined chest plate back on and had little choice but to return in nothing but his hip-wrap. He wasn't sure when or why Inuyasha had chosen to place it on him, but it was a pleasant piece of attire. The fabric seemed so ordinary, yet it managed to keep him warmer than his original fur appendages. Also, of course, it was covered in the hanyou's smell, which was something that Kouga was glad to welcome. The scent even managed to distract him from the underlying essence that stained the fabric in so many places. He could still detect the subtle odor of blood just underneath the smell he wanted to focus on. Normally, he could do so, but every few moments, it served as a grim reminder.

The moment that the wolf exited the shadows, Inuyasha looked up from the bottom of the rocky slope. As quickly as the half-demon took notice of Kouga's presence, his eyes darted back to the fire in front of him. The scorched tip of his stick wandered around the flames and four shapes jutting out of the campfire.

"Sleep well?" The hanyou asked absently while he nudged one of the fish with his tool. Kouga could easily see his pupils flicking in other directions while he let his stick drift thoughtlessly.

Making note of the weary outline around Inuyasha's eyes, the wolf strolled down to meet him beside the fire. "Could ask you the same thing." He commented. Four well-cooked fish were deduced as the source of what Kouga had picked up with his nose.

The wolf carefully sat across from him, staying out of the billowing trail of grey smoke that pointed in the wind's direction. He quietly watched as the end of Inuyasha's stick was scorched black and began to reduce to thin flakes of ash falling into the wood.

He received a quizzical look from the half-demon after many more moments of inaction. Inuyasha set his stick down and gestured to the prepared meal. "Go ahead. They're ready." He urged.

Kouga looked back down to one of the fish and reached for the stick it had been stuck to. "Thanks." He murmured while he briefly examined the state of his food. It was clear by the way things looked that Inuyasha had plenty of experience with feeding himself. Yet, just as he was about to take his first bite, the wolf noticed no movement from the one across the fire. The hanyou's hands stayed empty and tucked into their sleeves while he repeatedly scanned their surroundings. The fish lowered in Kouga's hand. "What about you?" he inquired.

"Already had mine." Inuyasha answered, still with a wandering mind.

Kouga took a second look at the four fish of considerable size jutting up in a row. The thought was a surprise to him. "This is all for me?"

The half-demon returned his quick attention. "Just eat. You haven't had anything for days. I know you're starving." He stated, which, humorously, was followed by an audible growl from Kouga's stomach.

For the first time in perhaps an entire week, Kouga felt a short laugh. "Can't argue with that." He concurred before taking a large bite out of his first fish.

As the wolf-demon ate, he had to deal with the continuous shifts in the wind that seemed to enjoy blowing smoke directly into his face. For the most part, Inuyasha was fortunate enough not to move more than once or twice. Each time Kouga had to move and keep eating, he wondered if there was something special about where Inuyasha had chosen to sit that was keeping the smoke blowing away from him almost every time. Each new place that was far enough across from him lasted for annoyingly short times. In the midst of changing his place across the campfire more than six times, he finished the first two fish and started on a third. Since he had experienced the effects of the sting, all he felt was thirsty, but eating was strangely making him realize just how hungry he really was. By the time that the third fish was chewed and swallowed, he was glad to have a forth one waiting for him.

A stronger breeze paid a visit and once again sent Kouga to his feet to find another spot. As the wind began to bend in a different direction, Inuyasha was forced to move as well. Somehow, circling the campfire, they met on the same side. A short, awkward look was exchanged before the half-demon decided to find a place on the opposite side again. Kouga settled farther away from the fire this time, hoping he would find refuge from the relentless fumes. He realized how fast he must have been eating when he felt a strain in his throat while it worked. Granting himself a break, he lowered the rest of his meal and looked back to the absent-minded creature across from him. Inuyasha had found a particular direction that he was staring in. In addition to that, the wolf saw the hanyou's nose wrinkle while he searched the nearby trees for something Kouga was uncertain of.

"What is it?" He asked, watching how diligently Inuyasha was surveying the scenery. Nothing about the location appeared abnormal to Kouga, but it was clear that something had caught the hanyou's attention.

He blinked a few times while his yellow eyes continued to meander. "I think I recognize this place…" Inuyasha responded thoughtfully. "I noticed it when I was going back last night. The stream looked familiar."

Kouga took a moment of his own to absorb their surroundings more carefully. There wasn't one thing that seemed recognizable to him. In truth, he no longer had the foggiest clue where they both were. Inuyasha appeared to know better. "Where are we, then?" he questioned while he smelled for things other than trees, fire, and fish. No scent seemed out of place either.

Inuyasha faced the fire and picked up his blackened stick. "I don't know for sure. It's just a feeling." He elaborated, making slow circles in the orange heat.

Kouga picked up his final, half-eaten fish and slid another bite off with his teeth. "When do you think you were here?" he resumed once he finished swallowing.

"A long time ago."

"How long?"

"A _long_ time ago." Inuyasha specified, his eyes now falling on one of the tree trunks that had an irregular shape. Kouga finished his last full serving and started to clean the bones. Once the sight of a stripped row of ribs satisfied him, he laid the last stick with the others by the campfire. It was likely that he would still be hungry even after such a generous meal, but he certainly wasn't going to be starving anymore.

"Thanks." He added sincerely without drawing Inuyasha's attention. The hanyou's gaze was focused elsewhere, the same direction he had been eying before. In a delayed response, he gave a short nod to acknowledge the wolf's gratitude.

Still taken with what was farther into the woods, he got on his feet. For a while, his head drifted between directions that could be taken. Inuyasha crossed his arms and started to walk. "I'm going to take a look." He declared.

Kouga stared as he proceeded away from the campfire. "Is it a long walk?" He called to him.

The half-demon's irises conducted a brief examination of Kouga. Even after several days of healing, just at the rim of his own red clothing, he could still see the mark left by the stinger and while Kouga was about and walking, it was obvious that he wasn't brimming with energy. "You still need rest." He advised to the wolf.

"Unless we're scaling a cliff, I can handle it." Kouga returned confidently as he stood on both legs. It looked like an effort to prove his statement.

The hanyou looked over him one more time. "If you're up to it." He said, resuming his walk toward the trees.

"If I can go."

Inuyasha heard and continued along. "I didn't say you couldn't go."

Kouga trailed after him, pleased for the chance to use his legs after such a long period. The muscles felt weakened, but capable. Inuyasha wasn't insisting on dashing like he normally did or leaping between the trees. A calm stroll like this one was easy for the wolf and rather enjoyable, even though it was wordless most of the way. Inuyasha would occasionally look in one direction or the other, shifting his eyes between different parts of the path they walked. Like before, he was looking for a familiar landmark that connected to his memories.

As they made their path through the forest, Kouga tried to think of several things he could use to start a conversation. But probably because of yesterday's events, every idea was eventually thrown away. The minutes of silence continued to pile up between them with each step. The slight ambience of the forest and rhythm of their footsteps reiterated again and again. Kouga began to follow Inuyasha's momentary glances at random objects. One was just a tree, the other was just a rock, they were all things that seemed perfectly ordinary to the wolf, but obviously were more to the other. Still, sometimes Inuyasha seemed to slow down for certain things, he even stopped to take a longer look at a fallen trunk they came across. The shape of the wood laid across the mossy ground was odd. The tree seemed crooked and misshapen. From the roots that had been torn out of the ground, the trunk bent and twisted to meet the pile of broken branches at the other end. Inuyasha knelt near the tree's uprooted base and stared curiously at the bark. With one hand, he began to examine the rough surface. Kouga observed his actions without question. He had a feeling that simply watching would explain what the hanyou was looking for.

"By the way, thanks for this." He said while Inuyasha felt for a specific place in the bark, pushing aside the mess of misplaced leaves and twigs while he fingered the surface. Kouga fiddled with the red fabric. "I didn't think it was this warm."

The half-demon gave him a humored look. "It makes you look weird."

He added before going back to search along the fallen trunk.

"Red's your color, not mine." The wolf replied, trying to imagine the way he must have looked in his current outfit. He heard a tiny laugh from the hanyou that confirmed his appreciation. Shortly after, he stopped upon pushing one of the twigs aside.

Kouga stepped up behind and saw that Inuyasha had found a thin row of three lines cut into the bark. The carving was too straight and precise to be the work of an animal. Other than that note, there was nothing else the wolf could make of it. All it looked like was a simple markings left by some human who happened to be carrying a blade. Inuyasha registered the sight and moved on, stepping over the tree and changing his direction slightly.

"So where _are _we going anyway?" Kouga inquired while he caught up.

"I still don't know." The half-demon said back to him with simple manner. Following his discovery, there wasn't anymore stopping or slowing down and the hanyou's path became noticeably more direct.

Again, Kouga decided to exercise his patience, for all it was worth. Something about the mark on the tree had set Inuyasha's course. It was unexpected to say the least, that they would be looking for something particular in such a place. When he first walked out into the morning light and caught the scent of the meal that was now in his stomach, everything around him just looked like the wilderness. The way Inuyasha treaded the ground in such a straight line was changing that perception. The walk continued for a long time. He knew that many minutes had gone by, but it soon began to feel like they were approaching an hour. His wandering mind had gotten so distracted with whatever they could be heading toward that he abandoned the previous efforts of trying to stir up some form of talking between them. They passed through several clearings, more trees laying across the ground and rotting away, there was even one that looked like it had been cut down. Inuyasha only gave it a glance without ever even stopping. Each detail that stood out was a landmark to the half-demon, guiding him to a place that Kouga would not have noticed on his own.

A number of additional minutes passed and they came upon a twisting line of clear water wandering through the woods in a shallow depression. It was an oddly silent stream no wider than a meter. Inuyasha halted just at the rim of the reflective water and started to carefully follow along the side. As he did so, his eyes shifted attentively across the long trail of pebbles with the stream flowing over them. It wasn't long before he stopped again, just as the stream began to take a sharp turn away from them. Kouga saw a number of oddly shaped, dark objects laying between the rocks. Looking closer, he realized that they were all wooden planks carelessly scattered in the water's flow. At first, he believed it to be some kind of dam, but the pairs of posts on each side of the low water changed his mind. It didn't make sense to him, though. The planks undoubtedly looked like the remains of a wooden bridge, but the stream wasn't even high enough to cover someone's feet. So why build one here?

Inuyasha set one foot in the cold water and continued to examine the different shapes of rotting wood. Kouga waded with him in the stream, looking at the same thing. "How long is a long time?" he remembered the half-demon's exact words.

Inuyasha scratched his head. "I don't really remember." He answered honestly. "What's making you so chatty all of the sudden?"

Kouga hadn't heard the last sentence. Instead of looking at the planks, Inuyasha noticed the wolf's attention had fallen up ahead just at the top of the gradual slope that cradled the stream. Just beyond the obscurant trunks was a damp, flat surface of wood. It was easily recognizable as they crossed the wet rocks and came to the other side. In the midst of the trees was the sagging shape of a wooden shack. Many of the boards had fallen to the ground and exposed the interior. There was only room for one person inside, but that person must have left this home a lifetime ago. Moss had permeated the surface of the wood and the darkened material seemed damp enough to fall apart if it were touched.

Inuyasha stepped up to it. He stood still in front of the decaying structure for several moments. Hesitantly, his fingers wandered above the bloated wood and nearly came in contact with it.

The hanyou's hand fell away. "It's this way." He said softly back to the watchful wolf-demon.

In a slower pace, he continued past the old walls of the shack with Kouga close behind him. The wolf took one last look at the sorrowful assortment of wood and followed. The foliage thickened just as the shack was left behind them and Inuyasha eventually needed to use his hands to get through the leaves. Kouga did the same, keeping a close eye on his silver hair to make sure he wouldn't get lost.

"How far?" He called while trying to get a particularly stubborn cluster of branches out of his way.

Inuyasha stopped for a second while the wolf caught up. "Not far." He said.

After trailing through many more thick branches, one of which gave Kouga a firm smack in the nose, the sunlight could be seen showing clearly between the array of dark greens. Then, finally, Inuyasha shoved through the last layer of leaves and exposed them both to the full light again. Kouga joined him on the other side shortly after. The forest grew thin in the distance, the trees more scare, until they finally gave way to the open space ahead. In that space was a rather unexpected sight.

Bearing great similarity to the condition of the shack they had happened upon, a scattered number of human structures were drooping out where the forest cleared. The size was comparable to the village where Inuyasha's companions resided. But this place was only similar in a small number of ways. A lonely wind passed silently through the windows of the empty, wooden homes. Even the soft sound of their breathing felt quieter as Inuyasha drifted in a straight line toward the lifeless scene. He reached the edge of the shadows and stopped. His gaze wandered between the spaces that showed the rest of the village just behind. The screens of each window had flaked away and left nothing but a shadowy view into the other side. The unforgiving procedure of time had pressed down on the roofs, reducing many of them to neglected slopes of wood riddled with dark holes. The light that crept in through those openings made the texture discolored and dusty. Even the moss looked like it wanted to avoid this place. The buildings were dry and devoid of green. Inuyasha's dim pupils took the sight in, but as the reality of what was before them both traveled through his impenetrable thoughts, there was no reaction to be seen.

The ground made a rough noise under Kouga's feet as he approached the silent half-demon. "You've been here?"

His only answer was a slow, forward stretch of the foot. Inuyasha strode wordlessly toward the rows of decrepit buildings. Kouga followed him and watched. He passed through the shadow between two walls, one dark and simple, the other with a cluttered windowsill. The hanyou's hand traced softly on the edge of the wood as he proceeded. The sunlight opened again to the dry road that passed through the village. Kouga came close behind and stared down the long stretch of dirt that divided the decaying structures in half. Every single shack, home, hut, and doorframe was lifeless from the closest of them to the ones lying all the way down on the other side. By Inuyasha's side, the wolf passed one empty doorway after another. Soft rays of dusty light penetrated each house with ease. Few of them were with all four walls and many no longer held their roofs up. Supporting posts meant to stand straight were bent beneath the weight of what was above. Each structure was fragile and deformed by all of the ages that had been endured here. All human memories of this place were gone. Even the stories must have been dead after such a great extent of years. To all but the silver-haired figure that walked straight down the path in the middle, this place no longer existed. The only memories that survived were the ones that clung to Inuyasha.

They reached an empty trench that cut through the middle of the village and trailed off into the distant forest. The vestiges of two bridges that used to branch across were now collapsed at the bottom. Inuyasha stared down into it, still making no more noise than anything else around them. A pile of old boards in the rough skeleton of a rowboat laid half-buried at the deepest point. The half-demon's head turned to the dark door of one of the houses. Kouga saw a few lonely items scattered on the floor inside, but nothing that made this place more understandable. He faced the dry river again and noticed Inuyasha's movements. He slowly lingered down the slanted dirt into the desolate trench and back up again to the opposite slope. Kouga continued to follow.

On the other side was only a short number of old homes. All were small and with no more space than for two rooms. They stood like tombstones in a jagged semicircle, nearly overtaken by the forest that was gradually closing in on this place. Here, young trees and even some vines had crossed into the old territory of the humans who once occupied this place. Planks had been loosened with ivy growing between the cracks. Kouga even saw a narrow tree merged with the wall of one of the houses, the branches clung to the twisted roof. Inuyasha ignored it all as he crept straight into the shade and passed the last houses. From this point, it seemed that they had reached the full extent of the village and that nothing was ahead but more forest. The half-demon knew something different. In the same, sure-headed way he had been taking his steps since the beginning of this unexpected search, he made his way into the trees. There wasn't even a path through them, but somehow, Kouga was surprised with the sight of another structure not far from the edge of the village. Just past a few more trees he saw an arrangement of rotting walls hidden in the shade. A dampened roof sagged at the top of it, nearly prepared to give way. There were two windows to be seen, but no doorframe.

The house was just beyond the sight of the village, for a reason that Kouga hadn't guessed. Inuyasha stared at it in total stillness. He stared at it as if he wanted it to stare back at him. The wolf could easily have said that no emotion was to be detected as he watched the hanyou's face, but it wasn't true. Somewhere deep, there was more than what he was seeing. Inuyasha knew this place.

A tree trunk grew out of the ground close to the house's footprint. Green branches extended just above the roof in a fashion that almost looked protective and something else stood just beside the roots. Inch by inch, Inuyasha moved toward a single, tall rock placed at the trunk under the shielding of the branches. It was not an ordinary, rough-textured stone. The rock was white and oval-shaped. Its position was unlikely to be an accident of nature, the way it stood up so straight. The half-demon's steps grew slow on his gradual approach. The seconds passed and he settled for a place only a foot's length away from it. The wolf's blue eyes remained on Inuyasha the entire time he looked down on the beautiful stone. Just seeing the how perfect the shape was and how bright the tone, Kouga could see that someone had gone to great trouble to find it and place it there.

One small step was all it took for the wolf to notice the scent. It was a smell he had learned to detect very late in his life and it was still one that he always had to strain his senses to even be certain of. But as he drew in a long drag of the air, he was sure of it. Mixed in with the common smell of soil was another element. It was neither pleasant nor ghastly, but it was present. It was the unique, faint scent of a burial ground.

"It's a grave…" Kouga concluded out loud, ending the many minutes of silence that had transpired. The hanyou appeared not to hear him, not even making the slightest move. His only action minutes later was giving the soil around the stone a very slight stroke. He raised his hand and massaged his temple for a while, then took to his feet again. Inuyasha faced away. He passed Kouga with eyes fallen to the ground. There was no sound from him.

Kouga's eyes followed the silver-haired creature as he meandered slowly around the dampened house. He wandered over ever inch of the simple structure, between the darkened board that composed it and across the planes of decomposing material. He drifted around to the other side with Kouga not far behind. The hanyou stared into the abandoned space. One of the walls had completely fallen apart, reduced to nothing more than a few spongy fragments of wood on the ground. The nails that once held the wall in place protruded in crooked rows around the opening. They had nothing to hold onto anymore and only served as muted markings of what once was. Inuyasha's dusky eyes never shifted from what was inside. Kouga saw that the doorframe of the house had been faced in the opposite direction of the village. The entrance to this home hid shyly behind the trees and the walls in front of it, not wanting to be seen or entered. All of these things that the wolf-prince noticed made no sense. The way this house hid from the rest of the world made no sense.

The damp wood didn't even creek when Inuyasha took a step inside. He gazed at the mossy floor and the numerous scraps of decaying material that littered it. There were two other rooms from where he was standing. Through the doorframe of one of them the wolf-demon saw a wide slab of wood collapsed onto the floor. Torn and tattered fabric was layered over it with stains of dirt that overtook the original white color. The window just above that object that was once a bed was filled with the overgrowing leaves just beyond the rotten wall that defined what was once someone's room. Inuyasha's quiet stare had fallen on the wall opposite to the door. A short table made of crude wood laid broken on the floor. All four legs had given into time's relentless ways and fallen. The tabletop was stacked on top of them and nearly split in half. Kouga saw several patches of moss creeping out from the splinters in the surface. But in the midst of the broken legs was a number of water-stained books scattered all around and on top of the ruined surface. Some of them were buried under the table's rubble, others could easily be picked up. Yet, they looked so fragile that the thought of touching them without the bindings coming apart was hard to believe.

A breeze arrived from between the trees and entered the vulnerable space. The sound that the wind stirred up caught Kouga's attention. He was surprised to find that it came from something that resembled paper tacked to the wall. While it was the only shred of paper that was left on that wall, the wolf noted nearly ten more small nails that used to hold other scraps. There were a few dark smears visible on the one piece that was left, but nothing that Kouga could manage to read. He looked again at Inuyasha, who was still staring down at the scatter of wrecked books. Hesitantly, the hanyou knelt and reached for one that was trapped underneath the fallen tabletop. The spine of the book bent as soon as the dog tried to pull it out. Instead, Inuyasha chose a different one that had reached a resting place only a few inches away.

He held the decomposed object in his hands gently. Dark mold spots were speckled all across the weathered cover. The badly loosened pile of pages between the bindings looked yellow and bloated in a few places. The entire book itself was in an irregular shape, distorted by the moisture of so many years. Inuyasha stood and traced the blank cover thoughtfully with his eyes.

He opened it. The pages fell out.

The resulting flutter of stained paper that came cascading out made a strangely small amount of noise as, one by one, the pages came to rest on the ground at Inuyasha's feet. In their downward fall's trail was a light cloud of dust that slid out from the now empty book-binding and only a few of the smeared pages still hung onto the spine. Somehow, the reaction Inuyasha received seemed to upset him, even though it hardly showed on his face. His head lowered and he grimaced at the scraps of paper that had collected all around his feet. Kouga watched from the outside. The few remaining pages still had writing on them. The half-demon traced each blur and smear that distorted the lines. Almost nothing was legible to Kouga and much of what he saw looked only like a repetition of the same characters over and over. As gently as the hanyou could attempt, he let one finger hover over the repetitive lines. His claw followed each row of varying smears all the way to the bottom of the page. But just when the tip of his nail brushed the surface of the paper, another two pages detached and fell to the ground. He weakly swatted at one in an effort to catch it, but it simply fluttered away on the air and landed without a sound.

For a brief second, the hanyou held his pose. Then, he suddenly sounded a growl. He angrily threw the empty binding down in a harsh thrust. The damp spine separated from the cover when it impacted. All of the book's fragments laid in a disorderly circle around the lone half-demon while the sudden emergence of fury vented from him. His hands shook, his face looked ready to explode into rage. But that expression lasted for so brief a moment that Kouga wondered if he ever actually saw it. Out of nowhere, Inuyasha caved against the fragile wall, eliciting an obvious creak from it. His head sunk, silver hair following along and shrouding whatever emotions that were present on his face now.

Kouga took one step closer. "Inuyasha?"

The word reached the half-demon's white ear. Immediately, the fisted hand that Inuyasha leaned on pounded the feeble wood. Dust quickly fell from the rafters that loosely held the roof up. Inuyasha hit the wall again.

And again and again…

Soon the fit of anger escalated and the hanyou was slamming his fist every second. Like he meant to do it, the weak nails that held the wall together came loose. The lone shred of paper that remained there finally broke away from the nail the held it. Inuyasha struck the wall three more times and Kouga began to hear the wood splinter. The splinters did not take long to begin flying. Eventually Inuyasha resorted to his claws. He began to tear and assault the decayed material until numerous planks had been ripped away from their nails. A hole of faint light opened in the wall, but Inuyasha didn't stop there. Now with both hands, he franticly yanked every component of the wall, twisted pounded, pulled, and tore until the hole became even bigger. Even then, the half-demon kept on taking out his spontaneous rage against the helpless planks. His arms flailed wildly at every intact place he could find. Then, at last, he lost his balance and fell straight through the wide hole he made, taking several more boards with him as he went. The spongy wood clunked to the dirt with Inuyasha's knees. It was then, it appeared, that the hanyou had satisfied himself. Kouga had been watching the entire display. The whole time, he was at a loss of ideas. Anything that could make sense of what he was seeing rested with Inuyasha only.

He darted around to the freshly wrecked wall and looked straight at the hanyou. He hadn't bothered to stand. The wolf cautiously lowered next to him and listened to the soft sound of his panting. "Inuyasha… where are we?"

His face stayed hidden to Kouga. "…I thought there'd be people here." A thought escaped his mouth. With sorrowful, yellow eyes, he stared across the distance between them and the makeshift gravestone. "I grew up in this village."

The words fit so perfectly that Kouga was surprised not to have considered it. But with that statement, everything that had passed his sight for the last hour came together in harmony with the knowledge. With that sudden harmony, understanding was soon to follow. The wolf gazed toward the white oval of rock as well.

"Who is it?" he asked softly.

Inuyasha's eyes fell closed. "…It's my mother." He answered in a clear voice. The hand that held him up gradually loosened and the fingers embraced the moist soil beneath. "…she was teaching me to write."

A flourish of emotions passed through the wolf-prince. Some of those feeling he knew words for, while other could never hope to be defined with a name. Never did he see Inuyasha as he was looking at him now, on his knees with such open grief visible in his face. Unexpectedly, it brought back memories of that night by the bonfire. Yet, this time, he could feel a different response when he carefully wrapped his arm around Inuyasha's shoulders.

The pace of the wolf's heart elevated. The movement that Inuyasha made was barely a tiny shift, but it was a shift that went deeper into Kouga's embrace. He could hear the pants reduce to the normal rhythm of the half-demon's breath. The muscles lost their tension and Inuyasha allowed his eyes to rest as the wolf held him. So with a little more confidence, Kouga added his other arm. His chest rested against the hanyou's back, he could feel the soothing aura riding into his lungs with every breath. In that short moment, at least for Kouga, all of the misery and pain that had been survived in the last week was forgotten.

Inuyasha gently tried to stand. "You can let go now, Kouga." He murmured.

The moment ended and the wolf-demon removed his arms from him. "Sorry." He added.

The hanyou brushed off the apology with a slight wave of the hand. He made several short looks between the different spots of his old home. He faced the house, the stone, the shacks lying just past the numerous trees, and returned to the wall he had torn to pieces. For a while, he almost looked amused at what he had done in his fit of anger.

He took a deep sigh. Kouga awaited his next move patiently. "Would you do something for me?" he said to the wolf.

That sort of question always excited Kouga's curiosity. "Sure."

Inuyasha felt the splintered edge of the opening he made. "Can you go back and tell them I'm alright?"

The wolf joined him at the broken wall, giving him a quizzical look. "You going somewhere?"

The dog rubbed his neck and waited a short spell before explaining. He rested his hand and said "I just need some time by myself."

The answer was almost a whisper. Kouga returned a stare, facing him with a number of questionable thoughts. "How long?" He questioned further.

"I don't know…" Inuyasha said honestly. "Could be a while…"

The look he received from Kouga was just like the face he wore last night. There was a serious question locked in the wolf-demon's dark pupils that asked itself without a single sound.

Inuyasha faced him with a gaze to give strength to his answer. "I made you a promise. I'm going to keep it." He solemnly vowed to the wolf.

There was no palpable certainty for Kouga, but with careful consideration of Inuyasha's words, something gave him the confidence to rely on them. He drew a deep breath and nodded slightly. "Okay."

"Thanks." The corner of the hanyou's mouth curved in appreciation. He stepped away from the numerous walls and extended a respectful hand. His eyes met Kouga's and a peaceful look passed between them. "See you, wolf." He said, echoing their past form of "conversation".

Kouga shook his hand and felt another grin crack his face. To Inuyasha it must have felt like an ordinary farewell, but their hands barely moved at all as they joined for those few seconds.

Their fingers parted. Inuyasha turned away and began to walk. His long sweep of silvery hair rippled behind him as he maneuvered around the varying obstacles of the woods. He was just about to leave Kouga's sight when he called out to him,

"Inuyasha." The wolf addressed while he caught up. "One last thing." He said. The half-demon stopped and returned his attention to the one following behind. Kouga approached in a cautious set of steps. He summoned the courage to ask his question. "…Is there any chance at all?"

Inuyasha cocked an eyebrow upon hearing it. "For what?" he inquired.

"…Something between us." The wolf answered, looking straight at him with serious eyes.

"Kouga—"

"Be honest." The wolf cut him off before he could reply. "Please."

Inuyasha huffed softly through his nose. "Like I said…" He began to clarify, coming a little closer to Kouga. "I need to be alone right now." The hanyou finished.

With that, he walked off into the forest and disappeared. Kouga took one last glance at the pale stone under the tree before slowly wandering off and beginning on his own path.

_________

Kouga held the paw firm in his hands while his eyes hunted the item of question. He hadn't expected that finding a thorn could take so long. Silver waited patiently until the wolf-cub found what he was looking for just between two of the pads. Carefully, he eased the sharp irritant out with his fingertips. It turned out to be quite long for something as common as a thorn, perhaps even scary. Kouga nearly thought he saw blood at the tip before Silver's paw slipped out of his hand.

The wolf gently rocked his paw back and forth before letting it rest on the ground again with his three others. "Thank you, Kouga." He said warmly. "It must be nice to have fingers."

"Is it bleeding?" The cub expressed his worry as he tossed the thorn away.

"I'll be fine." Silver's rough voice replied while they continued on their way through the thin shade of the trees.

The only forest in the wolf-demon territory was at the lowest grounds. Everything higher was guaranteed to be nothing but cliffs and rock. With the majority of tribe members busy with other matters, it wasn't a place where many would roam, especially with the recent conclusion of the hunting season. Kouga walked on his two feet beside Silver's four paws doing little else but listening to the birds and taking short looks at the foliage. Years longer than most wolf-demons, Kouga carried a fascination with this different setting. Silver had grown to expect a lack of words from him, but never absolute silence. Furthermore, the dark spots on his arms weren't difficult to spot. Indeed, they stood out as though they were fresh.

"You're very quiet today, Kouga." The grayish wolf observed out loud as young Kouga was watching a pair of birds scurry through the air to another tree.

He took notice to Silver's words with a simple reply. "I guess…"

They both entered the sunlight again as the canopy opened up and revealed the cliffs. Silver carefully watched Kouga's face as they walked. He had been doing so since they had crossed paths and what he observed was a cause for grief. Suddenly, one of his ears twitched when a new noise appeared in the environment. The sound of rushing water was nearby. He took a second look down at his paws and was reminded of how speckled in dirt they had become from the hunting he had been doing before.

Through the next series of thin trees, he saw the water winking with light between the twigs. "Ah, perfect." He said fondly and went pattering toward the conveniently discovered location. Kouga watched him bound off into the trees, quickly understanding where the wolf was heading when he saw the same thing. He didn't run after him. He decided to keep savoring the pleasant scenery until he caught up. Silver never would stray far from him anyway, not when they would spend time together.

After strolling through a short distance, he came upon a series of rock formations that bent up against the cliffs. Many streams of clear water droned their noise as they cascaded over the shapes of the different types of stone. From the highest part of the waterfall, they all seemed to origin from one place, split into smaller streams as they trailed downward, and finally met in the pool at the bottom. Just as he arrived, the wolf-cub spotted Silver leaping onto one of the rocks and bending himself under the falls, letting the cool water pour across his fur. The old wolf enjoyed the sensation for a minute, then climbed back down to the edge of the pool. A little splash came as he made his landing in the shallow water. Kouga watched the water drip from his wet coat, then a pale mist scattered all around Silver as he thoroughly shook his body dry.

"Silver?" He felt a few drops spray across his skin.

"Yes?" The wolf's eyes faced him casually while he approached.

His mannerisms dwindled. "…Father showed me something a few days ago." Kouga began while Silver provided the full focus of his canine eyes. "You know, that thing he wears around his neck all the time?"

The wolf shifted a paw thoughtfully. "Hm." He made a small sound and approached the soft border of the shallow pool. A few ripples grew in the surface as he lapped up a small drink. "I thought he would have waited until you were older." Silver mused once he was finished.

The answer was precisely what Kouga had expected. If any creature in the tribe possessed the knowledge, it was Silver. He walked beside him along the edge of the water, which stretched out to a stream that trailed away from the clearing. "…There were these two symbols, one on each side…" he explained, making a motion with his fingers to imagine the object.

"And you want to know what they mean?" Silver guessed prematurely. He spoke his reply in such a blithely manner. Kouga was left behind in his bewilderment while the elderly wolf continued. "I suppose he told you that no one in the pack knows anymore, but you're right, Kouga." He said calmly upon noticing that he was moving ahead. "You're instincts serve you well."

The cub's brow rose slightly. "So you know, then?"

He gave a nod. "I do."

Curiosity riddled the young wolf-demon's face. Of course, he asked the obvious. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Silver didn't answer immediately. For a while, consideration crossed his grey and silver face. But instead of disappointing Kouga, he decided to provide what was being asked for. He resumed his pace and gestured for the cub to accompany him. "The first symbol most directly stands for power, strength, control, the ability to change the fates." He described gradually while Kouga patiently listened. The stream itself seemed to hush while the truth was uncovered. Silver's head bobbed while he searched his mind. "…I can't think of a word that fits the other one." He commented. "Mostly it represents loyalty, but not just to your leader. It's meaning more closely follows the image of honor itself." He watched the water gently glide over the underlying rocks while he spoke. "It's rather… complicated."

His eye shifted to Kouga. "But no leader of this tribe for the last few millennia has needed an emblem to tell them what to value, least of all those two things."

"But why keep it secret?" The boy asked him, puzzled.

"I didn't say it was a secret…" Silver responded, his head drifting downward. "Perhaps I hope that one day the meaning of those symbols will change." His final note came quietly.

Kouga noticed the wolf's paws slowing down while they wandered away from the stream. "Why?" He continued to question him. "Are power and loyalty so bad?"

He was momentarily distracted by an ache in his paw. He stopped to flex the joint a few times. "…Not always." A soft pop was heard and Silver winced in his throat.

Quickly, Kouga found himself concerned. "Are you alright?" He joined Silver on his knees and watched him try to wear the aches away.

"Just these bones." The elder wolf-demon assured him while he kept stretching his paw.

"We can rest if you want."

Relief showed on his canine face. "Thank you, Kouga."

They found a patch of soft grass a short distance from the trickling creek. Silver settled down in the shade with young Kouga beside him. They relaxed and watched the leaves falling from the branches. Many of them were hinted with a tone of autumn that was just beginning to appear. The two enjoyed the sight of the water passing by for a while and Silver rested his nose in the grass.

"Not long after that emblem was made, our tribe began to fall apart." The story began. "It was just around the time when wolf-demons began taking the shape of men. We became scattered and divided." The elder reminisced to the cub next to him. He stared intently at the passing stream. The specks of light on the water could be seen flickering gently in his dark eyes. "But then, one of the first pack leaders of your kind rediscovered it." He finished, feeding the other's noticeable curiosity. "He brought us back together again."

Little Kouga huddled up to his knees. "Is that what made it so important?" He thought out loud.

"Quite right." Silver answered, adjusting the position of his wet nose. He let it rise up and took in the various compositions of the air. His nostrils flared when a most distinct smell crossed his mind. The name inadvertently slipped out.

"Fish…"

"What?"

"Can't you smell them, Kouga?" The wolf said with a surprised look.

Kouga suddenly appeared shy when he heard the question. "Silver… I don't know how to do that…" He excused. "Someone said I was still too young for it."

A little chuckle came from him. He let his nose rest back in the pleasant grass and said "Whoever that 'someone' is, I think he's wrong, Kouga."

The young wolf rubbed his neck and remembered his last attempt. "But we all tried. Me, Ginta, Hakkaku, all of us did and we couldn't do it." He recalled how disappointed his friends had been that day.

"It's not so easy to learn without help, you know." Silver looked back at him with a very confident tone. Kouga couldn't have hoped to have such faith. But Silver was perfectly willing to begin and made a motion with his head to a place closer to the stream. "Here, have a seat over there." He urged him.

Kouga was anything but convinced. Still, Silver's hopeful face couldn't be refused and he got on his feet and moved to the place that had been pointed out.

"It will be easier if you relax first. Just focus on your breathing." The wolf instructed him while Kouga settled cross-legged on the patch of soil.

He glanced hesitantly over the scene in front of him. He murmured an "…alright." and started to put his thoughts into each following breath of air. He let a deep one in and gradually back out like he was preparing for a game.

"Close your eyes." Silver advised from behind, to which Kouga uncertainly obeyed. He shut his eyes and listened to the sounds of the forest around him. He heard an insect buzzing close by. Many different pitches of songbirds were present, but nothing entered his nose as strongly as the other senses. He heard Silver's calm voice again. "Very, deep, Kouga." He reminded him.

He exhaled as slowly as he was able until the next breath was complete.

"Good." The wolf praised him. "Now take a long breath through the nose."

He didn't see Kouga open an eye while he listened to the instructions. They only made so much sense to him and, so far, it wasn't so different from the last time he tried to hone his senses. Even so, he did as he was told and focused the air through his nostrils.

"All through the nose, don't use your mouth." Silver pointed out while he tried to pick something up.

He was disappointed when the effort yielded no results. His hopes had almost been stimulated when something tickled his senses, but it vanished before he could even find out if it was real. Kouga glanced over his shoulder at the wolf sitting not far behind, still unconvinced. But so much like the ways of this creature, he received a confident look and heard his voice again.

"Try again."

Kouga scoffed a little bit and turned back around. Just as before, he closed his eyes, absorbed the ambience of the sounds, and began to breathe.

"Let it in slowly this time, as slow as you can." His firm, certain tone came from behind.

Like he was told, the wolf cub drew the air in slowly. He felt the coolness of it brush the wall of his nose and create a slight tingle. Sadly, everything still smelled the same. Everything still smelled like nothing.

He looked back to him again, discouraged. "Silver, I'm too little for this…"

The wolf stayed where he was. "Try again." He repeated comfortingly. "Imagine what you're looking for, Kouga."

He drooped, but registered the advice in his head. Kouga resumed his posture and let his eyes slip shut. The first sounds reached his ears and spoke their names. The birds sang as they always did, the water continued to rush. He shut his mouth and let all of the air out to prepare for the next breath. A soft breeze ruffled his dark hair and tickled the tip of his nose. The leaves in the trees sung a soft rustle when it arrived. He could put a label on every noise. The water rolled across the pebbles, the leaves detached from their branches, the air whistled as it was softly divided in half when the leaves fell. They came down in numerous forms of sound. Some twirled as they fell, others wandered in a rather straight course. A small tap could be heard each time one touched the shifting creek and was swept away in the current. Kouga began to draw the air in. There was nothing.

He knew what Silver would say if he asked. So he closed his eyes once more and began the process again. The senses informed him of the environment all around him. He remembered the final piece of advice given to him. The smell of fish was easy when they were close to him, but the stream was at a considerable distance. He pictured the sensation of it, recognizable smell that hung around it. His last fish was weeks ago, but the smell was not a challenge to remember. He let the air in. This time, he sought to make it move through the nose as slow as possible. The cool touch of it circled his nostrils, entered, and slowly passed along. It reached the deepest part and made itself known all along the inside. Kouga kept trying to imagine the smell. He imagined it so well it almost felt like it was really there. But when the next cycle of air passed completely, he wasn't so sure it had been real.

One more time, he repeated the steps. The countless noises were everywhere. Thousands upon thousands of different leaves and rocks composed his world. In between them was the wood, the waters, the creatures that roam with him. Then, just when he was nearly finished, he held the air in place while it hovered in his nose. He allowed it to remain still. Then, in a moment that was so sudden it was almost shocking, the smell was there. It was real too.

Kouga opened his eyes in wonder. He sniffed the air again and, to his amazement, he detected the smell a second time. Silver didn't have to see very much to know his success.

"There, see?" he said gladly to Kouga.

In his efforts, the wolf cub hadn't realized he had been holding his breath. "Wow…" he whispered to himself.

Silver returned to his paws and came up from behind. He showed happiness on his face when looking down on Kouga. "Keep going." He urged him.

The youth let his eyes close again. He gave several more slow, steady sniffs of the air. Disappointment returned to him. "I think I lost it." He said with a frown.

The old wolf stretched and sat back down next to him. He closed his eyes and sniffed. "There's more than fish. Do you know what else I can smell?" He said, sniffing again. Kouga waited for him to explain exactly what he meant. For a few moments, the wolf just let the rich variety into his highly attuned nose. "I can smell the stream too, the moss on the rocks." He listed fondly. "…The trees, the soil…" He added with another whiff of the air. "…There's a rabbit close by."

Kouga raised an eyebrow. "You can smell the water?"

Silver nodded. "Everything has a scent, Kouga." He explained. "You learn to recognize it like the faces on different people."

For some unknown reason, Kouga suddenly imagined the wolf in his position, however long ago that was. "You remember when you first learned?" He pulled from his curious thoughts.

Silver gave a small laugh. "Oh, no. That was very long time ago." He stretched out his paws and scanned over the scenery. He gave Kouga another look and gestured with his snout. "Keep trying. Find something else."

An eager smile dawned on the cub's face. He quickly nodded and went back to trying to focus his senses. Silver watched and waited patiently while he worked. The seconds went by with nothing but Kouga's careful, steady inhalations. The wolf could tell when something was detected by the way the cub's nostrils perked at certain times. The scent of fish was an easy one, but the others wouldn't be an equally simple task. But he knew that it would cost some time before anything else happened. With Kouga perfectly willing to keep trying, the old wolf-demon was content with waiting. His own experienced senses told him what was happening beyond their eyesight. He could hear the rustle of the shrubs nearby, but it was unlikely that Kouga could. Then, in a wonderful stroke of luck, they were visited by another breeze. It was the perfect opportunity for an idea that Silver had been considering. He felt even more curious if it could truly come to fruition when Kouga did indeed seem to detect something.

"Kouga…" He carefully addressed him. "Can you tell me where the rabbit is?"

The young wolf hesitated for a moment. He drew a very deep sniff of the air. "…Closer." He said softly. Then, his eyes opened when the sound reached his ears as well. "A lot closer."

The rustling grew apparent on the other side of the stream. Kouga watched practically wide-eyed when the bushes shook and a brightly-colored rabbit came scurrying straight out. The little creature winkled its nose for a second, then darted straight back toward the shrubs and disappeared in a rustle of leaves. Kouga could hear Silver's impressed laugh when it happened.

"I think you have a talent for this." He proudly commented.

A huge grin lit young Kouga's face. "I didn't know I could do that!"

He laid his head back to rest between his outstretched paws. "Well, I'm sure you can expect many more surprises."

Kouga beamed down at him. "Thanks so much, Silver."

"Don't thank me." He contradicted. "All I did was give you a push."

The wolf cub smiled toward where the rabbit had been seen across the water. "I thought it would be harder than that." He said, hugging his knees.

Silver shifted to a more comfortable position. "That _was_ hard, Kouga. At least it will seem that way once you get better." He winced again when one of his legs complained over his movement. "Ah… these bones…" The old canine grunted.

Kouga looked over the wolf's coarse, grey brushes of fur. He didn't know why, but he sometimes tried to find color in it. The other wolves in the pack all had the same brown color, but Silver completely lacked any trace of that shade. In spite of that fact, sometimes the light would touch him just right and it truly did seem that long ago he was not so different from them in appearance.

The youth looked over him a second time. "Silver, how old _are_ you?"

"I try not to think of it." The wolf joked.

The answer was a small disappointment. It was one that often crossed Kouga's mind but never manifested as audible words. "So you don't know?" He pushed again.

The wolf exhaled deeply. "If I thought about it, I could guess." His eyes slowly shut, almost like he was drowsy. "You see, in the age that I was born, no one bothered to count the years. I never even heard the word until I was full-grown." Silver explained, thinking about the question as he did so. He spent a few seconds considering an answer before saying anything else. "But if I had to wager a guess… I would say seven or eight-thousand years." He stated casually.

Kouga's eyes went wider. "Really?" He questioned, practically startled by the answer he got.

Silver thoughtfully tilted his head. "It wouldn't surprise me."

Kouga hadn't realized that he was almost back on his knees. "…Woah…" He droned to himself as he settled back down. He asked another hesitant question. "You think that I could live that long?"

"I'm almost certain you could." Silver replied while he propped himself up again to speak more directly. "But surviving the chaos of that many years isn't an easy task. Have you ever seen a demon die of old age, Kouga?"

The wolf cub thought hard, but no names came to mind. He shook his head.

"Have you ever even heard of one?"

"Never."

Silver's nose pointed low. "It's easy to understand the reason for that, such a dangerous world, after all."

"…Is that why there aren't others like you anymore?" Kouga wondered with his words.

He shook his head softly. "That isn't entirely true." His eyes followed a pair of leaves curling down toward the stream. "I remember when there were more demons like me than you could count." He recollected. "Now counting them would be easy." Kouga nearly thought he heard a touch of sadness. "But there are other wolf-demons like me. Although the last one I met who had the gift of speech was nearly two-hundred years ago."

Kouga tried to imagine the concept. The mere idea of it was enough to make his mood fade. "Do you ever get… lonely?" he asked.

Silver's nose lowered. A long sigh left him while he thought of the appropriate answer. His eyes turned to Kouga. "My form is a rare one, it's true…" he acknowledged and went back to watching the stream flow. Another leaf could be seen falling from the branches. "…but I'm not alone." He said.

The answer wasn't enough to warm the youth back up. He silently waited for Silver to continue.

The old wolf looked down at his paws and spoke. "We don't share the same shape, Kouga, but I see you as my family." He reasoned with a newfound spark of pleasantry. He looked on as three more leaves meandered about on their weightless fall. "As long as that remains true, I'll never be alone." Silver finalized.

Kouga felt a soft smile again. "You're smart, Silver."

"No." He corrected as he laid back down and rested his tired head. "Just old." He went back to resting his eyes. "Now, would you mind a question of my own?"

The young wolf embraced the idea without saying a thing. His gaze was enough for Silver to detect his acceptance.

"Why do you think your father showed you that emblem in the first place?" he gently asked Kouga.

The change was instantaneous. "I don't really know." He replied, massaging his shoulder. The movement brought Silver's attention back to the fading bruise that remained on the youth's arm. Kouga's eyes fell to the ground. "I did something… he got real mad…"

The silvery wolf brought his head back up and gave him a quiet stare. "Kouga…" he spoke gently. "Do you trust me?"

He quickly nodded. "…Yes."

He saw the cub's expression slowly fade. His underlying distress was brought into plain sight. "If I can help, then you only need to tell me." Silver calmly informed him.

"I'm sorry, Silver…" Kouga said under his breath. An ordinary demon would not have heard it. The boy visibly tightened as he spoke. "You told me it wasn't safe…"

The wolf quickly recalled what the other was referring to. The confession that followed was in his mind before it was in Kouga's voice.

His head sunk. "I went to the river. I just wanted to see it." The bleak tone in his words was not guilt, precisely, but something similar.

He inched closer to the young prince and urged him onward. "You ran into something?"

Kouga shook his head. "I met someone." He corrected. After a long period of forcing the memories out, everything quickly fell back into place for the young wolf. "But he was different. He had these… yellow eyes. I think he was a little younger." He haltingly described to the other.

Silver listened intently for the rest of what needed to be said. Kouga remained wordless for quite some time. Eventually, the canine nudged him on with a question. "What was his name?"

He swallowed nervously. "Nareji." Kouga answered with fragile tone. The next phrase took a minute to compose, but there was truth to be heard in the way it was said. "He was nice…" The youth recalled, his fondness buried beneath the regret. "He didn't want to cross the river, so I did." His hand went up to his neck and started to massage. "He was kind of scared at first, but he was fun to be with."

Kouga halted again. Each time the story was picked up again, it didn't seem to last long. There were few words that Silver could provide to help him finish. All he was capable of depending on was whatever came to mind. "…That must have been a long walk." The wolf commented.

Kouga fingered his lip and stared off into space. "He never told me what he was."

Realization dawned on the wolf. With the details set, the rest of the scenario ran doubtlessly in his head. The idea of what transpired saddened him, but he saw no other conclusion that sufficed.

He sighed. "You asked… didn't you?"

He nodded weakly and confirmed. "Father found out…" His thoughts wandered through the unfortunate pieces of memory. "…He was so mad."

The canine tried to keep the upsetting image out of his head. Sadly, it was a truth that no mental barrier was powerful enough to block. His eyes fell on the young boy and sympathized. "I'm sorry, Kouga."

In slow motions, the youth rubbed his forehead. Another specific set of words crossed his mind and came slipping out before he could catch them. He gave Silver a questioning stare. "Why is he my enemy?"

The grey canine traced the familiar word back to where it must have originated. "…Is that what you really think?" he asked, encouraging Kouga to reconsider.

His eyes drifted downward. "I thought he was my friend…"

Silver exhaled through his nose for a moment. At last, he found something to offer to the cub beside him. "Let me be clear about this. Whatever happens, don't forget." He began, eliciting young Kouga's returned gaze. The wolf spoke in comfort. "Your feelings will never lie to you, Kouga, nor are they ever false." He carefully laid down. "But sometimes… people _are_ capable of those things."

Momentarily, the distress on the youth's brow grew deeper. "…You think Nareji was lying?" he asked almost fearfully.

Silver's head lowered in a slow shake. "Not him." He completed.

A bleak sigh left Kouga's lips. "I just… wish I could have said goodbye to him…" the sentence gradually reduced to a murmur.

Silver took a moment to consider what he had just heard. His attention returned to the one beside him. "I told you that you should stay here, where you're safe." He recounted their previous conversation. "I still stand by what I said, but that doesn't mean that I can't cross the river for you."

The sorrowed expression changed to bewilderment looking Silver right in the eyes. Kouga wondered if he was drawing the correct meaning of what his friend had told him.

Silver's definite gaze did not change against the other's questioning look. "I offered you my help, Kouga. I will give it if I can." He declared.

The onset of gratitude quickly blended with a secondary layer of feelings concerning the subject. "You don't have to do that, Silver…" Kouga told him.

He brushed the comment away. "Think nothing of it." He said.

"Would you really do that?" A change took place and newfound hope filled the boy's eyes.

Silver simply returned a nod. "What did he look like?" he questioned, supporting his certainty.

The wolf cub smiled at the thought. He carefully pictured the boy and looked for the proper words to match him. "…Well, he had eyes that were this yellow color…" he listed the features as adequately as he could. "…and short, black hair, but it sort of shimmered when the sun hit it right." The most interesting of details came back to him last.

The wolf acknowledged his understanding. "Your age?"

"Almost."

"And his name again?"

"Nareji. It was Nareji." Kouga easily drew from his memory. "He said he spends most of his time by the river."

"Finding him shouldn't be a challenge." Silver assured him confidently. "But, Kouga, there is one thing I need to ask of you." He added to the statement.

He looked at the wolf with curious eyes. "What's that?"

A sudden seriousness emerged in Silver's tone. "See to it that no one knows about this. I may be gone for a few days and if anyone asks, make up a story."

Kouga didn't fully understand what Silver was asking. "Why?" he inquired.

"I can hunt and drink for myself, but I'm no warrior." The wolf explained himself. He took a short glance back to the water. "Your father doesn't see much value in me and I don't want to give him a reason to be upset." He finished.

Worry crept into Kouga's expression. "Are you sure you want to?"

The wolf bowed his head. "Of course, as long as you can do what I said."

His apparent certainty was enough to reassure the young wolf-prince. He gave a hesitant nod and said "Alright."

"I'm sure he'll be glad to hear from you." The canine warmly noted.

Kouga leaned in and gave him a tight hug. "…Thanks, Silver. Thank you so much." He said into the softness of his fur.

The elderly wolf felt himself chuckle. "You're quite welcome."

That's all for now. Remember to review if you want me to feel loved. ;) Praise, likes, dislikes, constructive criticism, whatever. Any of them are great to read. Love you guys!


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